B r o k e n E n g l i s h
by ElegantArrow 64
Summary: Because when Light pinned him against the mirror, he couldn't help but notice how long it had been since he had seen his reflection- not even the pleasure could block out B's prescence. LightL BBL BBLight LightKira FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
1. A

Well, it was about time I plucked this story from my head and typed it out before it started eating me alive. I'm lucky I've made it this far into the new year without have brain damage do to content build up.

Basically, this story is a plot bunny that REFUSED to leave me alone and has been forming in my head for seven months now and I finally have the gull to write it. I was certain that some random writer who was far braver then me ( with more time on her hands) would come along with an idea similar to mine and type it out for the world to see.

It has failed to happen :/

So here we are!

Basically this is going to be twenty-six chapter story ( One chapter for each letter of the alphabet) and is a collaboration of elements from _**Death Note: Another Note **_mainly B and the original _**Death Note **_storyline.

Plus B is a main chracter in this story. If you don't know who B is, I suggest you do some research or simply wait to be surprised. For those of you who are truly clueless as to who this character is, the Death Note novel is being released this February so you can find out for yourself next month if you want. You'll fall in love with him in no time.

**Full Summary: **When a new case is suddenly called to Ryuuzaki's attention, Light is left in the dark as he struggles to find the reason behind the detectives mysterious behavior and countless attempts to prove his innocence. But things are darker then they appear and soon Light finds himself in a game far more twisted then what he had hoped for when a new enemy arrives, one who can lead both L and Kira to a death far worse then anything they had ever imagined.

Because even justice has it's flaws.

**Pairings: **LightxL BBxL BBxLight LightxKira

I will post warning before each chapter regarding it's content, savvy?

Off we go!

-----------------------------------

It was hard.

In a world where crime had risen to its peak, one couldn't help but gaze around and notice that what impurity remained was slowly beginning to fade beneath the growing pile of filth polluting society. It was casual, even; a flaw in the continuous circle of life most people chose to ignore. The need to fix society left to the politicians, world leaders, and law enforcers who beneath the surface were lower then the scum they were put into power to destroy. The world, overall, needed to be cleansed.

Someone had seen to it.

And Light Yagami, in all his adolescent beauty, was fully convinced he was not that person.

Others saw differently.

One in _particular _other.

"Light-kun, could you pass the sugar please?"

Florescent lights beat down upon the Investigation Team members in the dimly lit work room, the glass staircases glittering like jewels on either side. The high tech room had once held magnificence in Light's eyes but after spending most of his time trapped within it's walls, he had lost all wonder for it. Now it was nothing but an arena; a place where him and Ryuuzaki would argue during the long work days, the team members watching worriedly from a distance ( Except for Matsuda who found it within his power to break them up when things got to bad- Ryuuzaki always happily put him back into his place. ) If it wasn't for Light's father he was sure one of them would be dead by now .

Secretly, Light wouldn't mind.

But he could never say it out loud.

His percentage of being Kira had already risen three percent since the handcuffs had been slapped on.

Oh, _about that_…

Since Light was quote unquote, under 'investigation' Ryuuzaki had managed to find a way to keep watch over him without having to keep him in confinement. The handcuffs however, had been the last thing he expected.

He knew Ryuuzaki was...well… odd. But not that odd.

Apparently Light had been wrong.

For once.

If it wasn't for the fact Ryuuzaki seemed to be equally as irritated with Light as he was for the quirky detective then he may of actually considered him, as Misa put it, a pervert. But so far nothing perverted had actually taken place.

If you called depriving somebody of sleeping in the comfort of a bed perverted.

Ha…hahaha.

_Ha._

To add the list of the detectives irritating and bizarre qualities, the twenty-three year old sugar loving man **did not sleep.**

…

At all.

So Light was subjected to the cold floor of Ryuuzaki's guest room while the detective click-clacked away at his keyboard into the wee hours of the morning until he managed to pry Light out of his sleep in the most unpleasant of ways to attend to the bathroom. On rare occasions Light managed to take advantage of this field trip and sneak a shower in despite the awkwardness (though L _did_ take a shower on a few occasions and Light was left to wallow in his misery as far as the chain would allow him. )

Life _on the chain _( as Light put it, ) was difficult in every way, shape, and form. It was a red mark on his pride and lowered his dignity past human acceptance. To Light, being attached to Ryuuzaki- despite the fact he was really the worlds number one detective- destroyed whatever qualities of a 'normal teenage life' he had.

Hating him was easier then ever.

It was no secret.

But Light was determined to prove that he wasn't Kira; and proving it would take every ounce of patience and self control he contained.

So it was no surprise that when Ryuuzaki asked if Light would pass the sugar that things suddenly became quiet.

Immediately Light's irritation rose, casting a glance around the room watching each member of the investigation team in turn as they shifted there eyes away from him. They all knew the routine. All it took was a simple request from Ryuuzaki to lead to a brawl. Hell, even Matsuda had caught on, as blunt as he was.

The teen hesitantly rolled his eyes toward the detective checking to see if the familiar black holes in his head he called eyes were staring at him in there usual creepy fashion. Usually when he requested something simple such as this he was watching Light, the words slipping from his sugar coated mouth secretly inviting him to play a game. Another chance to raise or lower his percentage of Lights innocence.

Thankfully however, Ryuuzaki's eyes remained glued to the computer screen. Watari was beside him, a silver cart parked beside the detectives chair loaded with various sweets and flavors of tea. Light's tea from earlier rested beside him, the liquid cold and bleak, no longer desired. He hadn't notice the sugar bowl positioned beside it and wondered how he had failed to return it to the detective.

He had only put a pinch of sugar into his tea, if that.

Ryuuzaki preferred the whole bowl.

Ignoring the stares from everyone in the room, Light picked up the sugar bowl without hesitation, feeling the chain attached to his left hand pull against his skin. Frowning, he leaned over to check to see if the chain had caught amongst one of the chair legs when Ryuuzaki reached up to grab his tea from Watari, jerking the teens hand forward, sending the sugar bowl shattered to the floor.

As common as the situation was, Light couldn't help but shift his eyes away from the others as Watari and L joined in on the spectating. The sound of shattering glass rang in his ears and clung to the sticky silence which had splattered the room like glue.

It didn't last.

"Watari, would you please assist Light?" Ryuuzaki asked, his words slightly muffled behind his thumb which was pressed against his bottom lip. "I'm sorry Light-kun, I believe that was my fault. "

"Y-yeah…" Light scooted his chair to the side to give Watari room as he came with broom and dust pan in hand to remove the glass and sugar. In the process of moving however his eyes grazed Ryuuzaki's face, the black orbs sucking him in, seeing past his chocolate brown eyes and into the inner workings of his mind.

That look…

Lights eyes narrowed.

'_You look at me like I'm some sort of child Ryuuzaki…'_

"No harm done." Watari chipped in, depositing the remaining mess into a bag located on the bottom of the silver cart, handing Light his own fresh cup of tea.

Light took it from him carefully, the steam from the hot liquid burning his eyes as he gazed down at it. Black tea, as usual…

"Perhaps you better put your tea on the table Light-kun."

Lights head snapped up and he blinked at the detective in confusion.

"Your more clumsy then I expected…" he mumbled, as if to himself. "I'll be making note of that."

The teens shoulders stiffened.

"And what does me being clumsy have to do with anything?" he snapped, keeping his voice low. "You said so yourself it was your fault the dish broke. "

"I have me theories."

"Care to share them?"

Ryuuzaki shook his head turning back to the computer lazily. " I have come to learn that every time I share my theories with you Light-kun it only results in making you flustered and I would appreciate it if I receive no more bruises this week, as should you."

'…_.why…?'_

Light gaped at him silently, his anger rising and falling as he contemplated his words. He… he was right, as he usually was. But it was the fact that he **was **right which made it so hard for Light to just nod his head and accept it.

If he allowed Ryuuzaki… no… if he allowed _L_ to be right then Light's chances of proving his innocence would drop. He needed to prove his innocence, he _had_ too…

He just wanted his life back.

----

Light had kept his mouth shut in good manner for the remaining five hours he had to spend within the main room of the headquarters, avoiding eye contact with his dad and basically, every other soul that existed within the room ( though he thought he glanced Matsuda half heartedly slipping a coin into Mogi's hand as they went to grab there coats. )

It wasn't until the others had headed home and darkness had spilled across the sky that L stood up from his chair and headed toward the stairs without even so much as a glance in Lights direction.

"You could at least warn me before you decide to get up and leave!" Light hissed, tripping after him as the chain reached it's limit.

Ryuuzaki shrugged. "I assume you'll follow sooner or later."

"Like I have a choice…"

"Hush."

Before Light even made it to the steps, Ryuuzaki's cell phone went off, the unrecognizable jingle echoing across the deserted room. He flipped it open swiftly and held it up to his ear in his usual quirky fashion; Light would have found this normal if it hadn't been for the fact that the next few words which left the detectives mouth were unrecognizable.

… English?

The teen stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs; he had been at the top of his English class back in Grade School yet nothing the detective was saying made a lick of sense. Perhaps the reason why he chose to speak in English was so Light couldn't make sense of his conversation but from the way he had answered the phone the person on the other end was clearly not fluent in Japanese. The only person who ever called Ryuuzaki was Watari, though…

Was it possible Ryuuzaki actually had _friends? _

' _The bastard did say he grew up in England…' _he reminded himself, frowning. Perhaps that was why he was so quirky, what with the sugar and the tea and all. Though compared to what he had learned about people in England Ryuuzaki still came up short in society.

A swift tug on the chain brought him back from his thoughts and he followed in the mans wake as he continued to babble away into his phone. He hadn't even glanced in his general direction as he started walking making Light feel even more like a chained dog, forced to follow his masters every bleeding footstep.

What he wouldn't give to give the chain one hard tug and send him flying down the stairs, his spider like body breaking like a twig as it hit each step…

The elevator door shut with a snap as Light positioned himself against the wall opposite the detective, his back turned to him. Determined, the teen locked his chocolate brown eyes on the older mans face hoping to catch a glimpse of emotion. He had been looking, searching for along time now; hoping to catch the traces of a meaningful smile, confusion, perhaps even shock. Proof that the worlds top detective possessed some normal qualities.

For he could never push him down the stairs if he wanted to prove he wasn't Kira (Though he figured if Kira would have been in his place he would have wanted the same thing and would not have hesitated; and down would come Ryuuzaki, sugar cubes and all… )

Ryuuzaki shut his phone with a snap, his black gaze meeting Lights causing him to flinch. The expression in his eyes was unreadable, like a snake observing its prey waiting to see who would strike first.

Light saved him the trouble.

"Who was that Ryuuzaki?" he asked, keeping his tone light.

The detective continued to stare in his usual fashion until Light was sure he was gazing into his very soul causing him to fold his arms across his chest hesitantly. What was it with him? A Simple yes or no would do…

"I don't know if I should tell you Light-kun."

He forgot. Simple just wasn't Ryuuzaki.

Damn it all.

"Why not?" he pressed, keeping his anger tamed.

Unfortunately at that exact moment the elevator chose to arrive at the designated floor and the detective yanked him out into the hallway, ignoring him all the way until they were settled into his room, laptop open and settled at his usual spot at the coffee table. Light grimaced as he realized he would have to spend another sleepless night curled up at the detectives feet with nothing but a blanket and a decorative pillow from the couch, but he was more concerned by the detectives behavior- his face now visible in the pale light of the laptop.

He appeared… troubled.

Unfortunately it wasn't the sort of expression Light had been hoping for, wanting something more along the lines of anguish or disbelief; but to just see the delicate curve of his brow beneath his veil of ink black hair, his pale lips puckered into a frown was enough to replenish him after the sugar bowl incident.

He couldn't help but ask again.

"Could you please tell me who called you?" he asked, sitting beside him on the two person sofa.

The pale man scooted closer to the other end of the couch, his thumb buried between his teeth, his expression unchanged. "Why does Light-kun want to know so badly?"

"Because ever since that call you've seem troubled." Which was the truth, the best and most reasonable answer he could give.

Orb like eyes turned to him in the darkness, screens filled with static seeing in between the lines of Light's words.

"I am troubled Light-kun. But I'm still not sure if telling you why is a good idea." he titled his head, his fingers tangled in the material of his pants as he hugged his legs close to his chest. "Also I have noticed this is the most communicative you have been over the past week. The silence between us has been strong up until now."

"Yeah, well…" Light rubbed the back of his neck quietly. "Can you blame me? Every time I open my mouth you find a way to raise your percentage of me being a mass murdered."

"You should have expected that when I informed you of the circumstances." Ryuuzaki reminded him, holding the chain up into the light like a snake, glinting and dangerous.

"Yes, but I also agreed to work on this case with you and your making that hard for me." he added testily. "I decided to assist you as your _friend_."

"Actually you really didn't have much of a choice." Ryuuzaki piped in, tilting his head. "But since you decided as a friend, I am thankful. However having friends right now is a little out of the question."

"That still isn't answering my question of why you wont tell me who called you."

The detective stared at him awhile longer, letting out a half hearted sigh as if Light's inability to comprehend was wasting his time. However, the teen had only changed the subject to avoid the answer to Ryuuzaki's previous statement.

Him and Ryuuzaki weren't friends?

As odd is seemed, this stung a little; perhaps more then it should have. Light was popular, he had a lot of friends, top grades, a loving family, but in this new world which revolved primarily around whether or not he was Light Yagami or the infamous mass murderer Kira, Ryuuzaki was both his worst enemy and his only friend.

If they weren't friends then what was the point of helping him besides to prove his innocence? He had, from the bottom of his heart, offered to help Ryuuzaki with the case because they had become friends at the university.

But had that meant he had only befriended Ryuga Hideki and not Ryuuzaki? He knew being friends with L was out of the question; L's main purpose was to investigate him. But the remaining identity L had branded himself with, the one which was present right now…

… couldn't be friends with him?

"Light-kun?"

He looked up, startled. "Yeah?"

"You looked troubled. May I ask what is wrong?"

The teen angered broiled. "didn't I just ask you the same thing?"

"I was curious as to whether or not the friendship statement I made had any effect on you."

Light narrowed his eyes wondering whether or not he should risk hitting him across the face again; perhaps he would get a better reaction this time. Perhaps he would actually _win_ for once against the detectives oddly stylized fighting skills.

Perhaps he would bleed- like a real person.

"Are you testing me again?" he snapped, pushing the violent thoughts from his mind. He could win this another way, his words would be his poison.

"No, I am simply wondering if me being your friend or not matters to you." he looked away from him, blank eyes brimming with another new look Light had never seen present before. Sadness perhaps? In the darkness it was hard to tell, minus the fact his hair was now completely shielding his face from view, his thumb still tucked between his lips. " You see, if you weren't my friend, then you asking me for information on who called me would seem suspicious. If you were not my friend then the fact that I am troubled would mean nothing to you, therefore, the information on my mysterious caller would only be for your benefit of knowledge and nothing more. From the call you can already tell that what was spoken to me has managed to make me restless and that I had also answered the call in English which you are unable to translate fluently given so little time between each of my words." he paused for a second, raising his head so he was staring at the black ceiling above him, his hair falling away from his milk white face. "So it would seem fitting for me to suspect that you would want to obtain such information because you are Kira."

"What does me wanting to know who the hell called you have anything to do with that!?" Light snapped, his fists trembling in rage. "Also, you're the one who said you couldn't be friends with me! Before that I had already told you that the fact that you were my friend was my reason for going along with the case in the first place!"

"Because the information that was given to me from that phone call can easily be used against me." he muttered, his eyes narrowing as he lowered his gaze back to his laptop, tracing his finger across the touch pad to remove the screen saver. "Since you are a suspect, I shouldn't be telling you."

Light kept his mouth shut. He couldn't argue with that… but he still wanted to know. He needed Ryuuzaki to trust him; trust that he wouldn't do anything to him so that he could stop imagining putting him to death every time they argued.

"But as a friend, I want too…" he added on silently, more to himself then the silent teen. "I want to be able to tell somebody."

Light blinked at him, watching as the detectives eyes stared into the black abyss of the room, lost in his own thoughts, his eyes wide as saucers. Whatever it was he was planning on telling Light was tearing him in half, the detective half of him arguing with the sugar loving reject who craved a companion. The sight would have been amusing to the teen if he hadn't noticed the thin trail of blood trickling from the detectives thumb latched in between his teeth, the substance pooling in the cotton material of his sleeve.

"Ryuuzaki, for _god sake_!" he reached out and grabbed the detective by the wrist, wrenching his hand away from his jaw and holding it out before him like a mother scolding a child. "Just tell me already, if it's bothering you that much, I'll listen. "

"But are you my friend?" he asked, owl like eyes zooming in on his face.

"You're my only friend Ryuuzaki, now just tell me so you can stop mutilating yourself." he snapped, looking around for some form of tissue, cloth, magazine, anything to clean up the blood. It was sickening…

"Light-kun, I can take care of it…"

"It's fine, I just need a tissu-"

"Light-kun, please just…"

"You can't do it yourse-"

"_Light!" _

The teen froze at the sudden change in the detectives tone of voice, glancing over at the man with wide eyes. Amidst his panic he had failed to notice his sudden change in behavior, his eyes planted firmly on the carpet, black as stone and blank as his ghost white face. His hand shook within his grasp, his body trembling like a small child as blood continued to seep from the coat dripping against Light's tan skin, hot and sweet. The tone of his voice had been demanding, sharp; yet it wasn't this that had caused Light to stop.

There had been fear.

"Light, let go." he mumbled, his voice trembling softly.

His fingers retracted automatically and Ryuuzaki pulled his hand away as if he had been burned, blood smearing across the top of Light's hand. He watched quietly as the detective rustled around in the darkness for a moment before pulling a small cloth out of the back of his pocket, wrapping it around his weeping finger.

"Ryuuzaki, what-"

"The thing I wanted to tell you was that a new investigation team member will be joining us tomorrow," he interrupted, his face molding back into its usual mask. "from America."

"What… why America?" he asked, frowning at the sudden information. Ryuuzaki had clearly proven that Kira resided in Japan, America wanted nothing to do with the case last time he checked ( his father viewed them as 'bleeding coward with little backbone' and after catching wind of previous investigations concerning America he believed his father to be right.)

Ryuuzaki played with the blood soaked cloth, twisting it around his finger thoughtfully. "Because there is a case in America which has been called to my attention and they feel the need to send someone over to assist us while keeping me informed."

"But what could possibly be more important then the Kira Case?" every country knew of the danger, of the importance of catching this mass criminal; as far as he was concerned L should be left alone, all other cases left to those below him.

"A case which involves a crime which is being committed especially for my purpose." he explained darkly, staring at the blood covered cloth as if it reminded him of the blood which was supposedly being shed in his name.

Light's eyes widened before he could stop them; this… this was what he wanted to tell him?

Ryuuzaki blinked at him. "Does this information shock you Light-kun?"

"Well… wait," he shook his head frantically as if it would help him hear better. "You mean somebody is killing people in America because of you?"

"Precisely." he nodded, removing the cloth and staring at his finger where a small cut was visible against the sore skin; a minor imperfection. "Gruesome murders, all at random. Limbs have been reported missing, eyeballs, tongues, teeth, fingers, mutilations which the FBI over in America has been unable to explain."

Light suppressed a shiver; it sounded like a horror movie and a bad one at that. Some serial killer going around mutilating people and unable to be traced. He recalled similar cases in the past, most which his dad had informed him of , edited for the sake of his sister. But that wasn't what bother him.

What bother him was that _someone_ was going around doing this to innocent people _because _of L; his existence alone was causing people to die and all because of some psychotic murderer.

But if he was such a threat, then why hadn't Kira taken care of him?

"His name is unknown." Ryuuzaki piped in, still observing his wound in the light of the laptop. "So if you're wondering why Kira hasn't done away with him yet, that is the reason." he returned his thumb to his mouth, sucking the small trace of blood from the surface of the split skin. "Even Kira has weaknesses Light-kun."

"Everybody has weaknesses," Light frowned, wondering if this was just another test. If it was, he sure had a lot of nerve. "It's a fact of life. Even you have weaknesses Ryuuzaki."

The detective tensed at his words and Light feared for his thumb which was wedged even further between his teeth then before. Perhaps that wasn't the best thing to say… but it was the truth, nonetheless. Even the worlds greatest detective had to have weaknesses; or in other words, flaws. Not quirks, not weird sitting positions, but flaws- like every other human being.

"But this guy… whoever he is, how do you know he's killing people because of you?" he asked, hoping to break the silence. He needed to be on good terms with Ryuuzaki no matter how much effort it required.

The detective simply shrugged. "That… has yet to be determined."

"Then how-"

"The new team member will explain more to me when he arrives tomorrow. Until then, I suggest you keep everything I've told you quiet."

"Then what will you tell the investigation team?"

"That our guest has been sent over from America to help us with the Kira Case. " he leaned back against the couch, his back cracking as he reclined into a somewhat normal position. "I don't want any of them knowing. The case itself was only broadcasted in America in the first place so there will be no out of country interference."

…No interference?

So L wanted to handle this thing on his own.

As expected from him.

But taking on two cases at once…

"Ryuuzaki, you really shouldn't-"

"Please go to sleep Light-kun."

The teen froze, his chocolate eyes widening. "But…"

"I need to think and you are distracting me."

Face flushing, Light glared at him in the darkness grabbing his blanket from behind him. He really didn't understand him; everything was going along fine and he just cut him off like some child, as if talking to him was a burden. He was the one who said he wanted to tell him about the situation…

… because he was his friend.

Clearly Ryuuzaki didn't know how to _be_ a friend.

"I'm sorry Light-kun." Light heard him mumble as the teen curled up on the floor in his usual spot, burying his head beneath the thin blanket to block out the shimmering glow of the laptop.

"No your not…" he mumbled back, loud enough for him to hear. For if the detective was truly sorry he would allow him to sleep in the untouched bed in the other room, allow him to clean his wounds, and stop accusing him of being a mass murderer.

It was no mystery.

The percentage of any of that happening…

… was **zero.**

--------

"Light-kun!"

That voice… he was sick of that voice…

"Psst, Light-kun!"

Maybe if he answered to it's call it would stop.

"Matsuda-san, _what?_" Light hissed, his eyes blood-shot as he wheeled his chair around to face the flustered cop. The Investigation Team was scattered behind him in different locations, all eyes focused on L who was chatting away to a proper looking chestnut haired man.

"Who… who is that?"

"Hell if I know…" he muttered, turning back to his computer. He was at fault to type anything do to the fact his left hand was stretch to it's furthest extent allowing Ryuuzaki to talk to the man in 'private.' he had dragged Light out of bed without a word, babbling into his cell phone in god damn English in the early hours of the morning to meet the so called 'American Man' at the front door without offering Light so much as a cup of coffee.

No sugar added.

Basically, last nights previous conversation had meant nothing; absolutely _nothing. _Light was reverted back to being Ryuuzaki's faithful chained mut instead of his _friend. _Or maybe he was just tired beyond reasonable thinking. The floor was starting to lose whatever hint of comfort it had possessed weeks before and the bed in the other room seemed to be calling to him in his dreams. If he could just convince Ryuuzaki to move camp… there was an outlet in the room for his damn laptop, it would work…

But how to convince the wallflower?

The chain slackened as Ryuuzaki finished his private talking session and stepped forward with the man at his side- his crooked posture and disheveled appearance clashing with the clean cut man like two opposite sides of a spectrum.

He looked like your normal cop; the ones you see in T.V shows and FBI movies( as Matsuda had so bluntly pointed out.) Ryuuzaki had introduced him as a local officer from Los Angeles, California, single, twenty-seven years old. His name was Michael J. Andrews, a name common over seas.

Perhaps a little _too_ common in Lights opinion…

But the teen had more important matters to tend too.

Like convincing the stubborn detective to allow him access to a bed.

"You're fine on the floor Light-kun." Ryuuzaki mumbled later that evening as he poured over his laptop, not even glancing up at the teen upon his sudden request. "If you are as uncomfortable as you say you are, I can request that Watari bring up some more blankets and pillows for you."

"What _is it _that you have against sleeping in a bed!?" Light cried in exasperation, his hands tangling in his chestnut hair. "Did you have problems in your child hood or something?"

Expecting a smart ass comment in return, Light was surprised when all he received was silence. Now that he though about it, he knew little about the detectives past except for the whole 'five years in England' thing. It had never exactly interested him, assuming his child hood had a lot to do with how he turned out to be a sugar loving insomniac; the mental image of a smaller version of Ryuuzaki surrounded by different assortments of cake and American candies seemed more then fitting.

Cute, even.

"Please got to sleep Light-kun, I'm not in the mood to answer questions tonight." he sighed, a type of pressure in his words which somehow convinced Light perhaps he _should_ leave the detective alone this one time.

But it was odd.

Ryuuzaki rarely passed up an opportunity to argue with him; it was the one time he had a chance to raise his percentage and drive Light toward the edge of insanity. He was lucky to even get a second of sleep, what, with the man hovering over him like some demonic bird hoping to catch some trace of a lie in his features as he burrowed into the collection of blankets Watari had graciously supplied him with. Only when he was securely snuggled beneath the cotton barrier would Ryuuzaki leave him alone.

But not any more.

For three nights Light was left to sleep in peace; three long, quiet nights. Even the sound of Ryuuzaki's fingers against the keyboard was more silent then usual. He never complained of course; in fact, this was what he had _wanted._

Then why was he so upset?

He had wanted to say something about it, choosing his words carefully. He figured Ryuuzaki was just occupied because of the new case. But if this new serial killer case was starting to cause him to neglect the Kira Case, then Light wanted him to stop. He wanted the case to be solved, to find Kira, and get his old life back. If Light was just attached to Ryuuzaki's arm as a nice little accessory and not as a suspect, then he wanted off.

_Now._

Sipping his tea one Thursday morning, Light turned his attention to Ryuuzaki hoping to catch his eye. The loser had his back turned to him, the backing of his computer chair shielding him from view. All he had to do was give the chain a nice swift tug and he would surely have his full attention.

Well, maybe not _full_. But just enough to ask…

"So how is it in America Mr. Andrews?" Matsuda's voice echoed from beside him and Light pivoted his chair to see the bubbly cop talking to the fourign man, his face set in a friendly smile. Light had forgotten about this newcomer, his existence over the past few days having little effect on his daily routine. He rarely talked, hovering like a ghost around the work room and making small talk with the team members- Light had never spoken to him directly.

'It's nice but I find Japan more charming then Los Angeles." he laughed, his Japanese clear but wavering with traces of an accent. "The facilities here are also nicer, especially in this place."

Matsuda laughed and opened his mouth to offer some lame ass reply when Ryuuzaki interrupted him, spinning around in his chair to face the two men reminding Light of Dr. evil in a small variety of ways. Except instead of a cat, a single jar of Strawberry jam was clutched between his fingers, it's contents smothered messily across the rim of the glass.

"So your settling in nicely I take it Mr. Andrews?" he asked, tilting his head to the side curiously.

Rolling his eyes, Light went to swivel his chair back to the computer not wanting to be a spectator of Ryuuzaki's messy eating habits; jam was meant to be spread on toast, not eaten directly out of the jar like some five year old kid. He stopped himself however when he noticed Andrews had gone slightly rigid, his mouth forming into a thin line as he stared at the detective in all his jam covered glory, licking the sweet red substance from his fingers like a cat.

"Yes… yes, I have…" he mumbled in reply, his brow knitted together tightly. Light would have found this humorous, assuming the reason for the mans odd behavior was because of Ryuuzaki's odd eating habits. But something about him told the teen this wasn't the case.

There was fear in his eyes.

Light straightened up in his chair, flashing his chocolate eyes at Ryuuzaki who was staring the man down with the ferocity of an animal; his orb like eyes seemed to glow in the florescent light, penetrating the man and pinning him to the spot as his fingers glided steadily into the nearly empty jar, scooping out the sticky substance and placing it into his mouth and sucking on each digit with care.

The teen looked away with a small cough; heat had begun to bubble beneath the smooth skin of his cheeks causing a small jolt of fire to irrupt from his groin feeling like some sort of grade school pervert. The way he ate that stuff… it was as sick as it was arousing. If only Ryuuzaki could eat like a _normal_ person instead of curving his pink tongue around every inch of pale ski-

'_God damn it, stop!' _he gritted his teeth in frustration, turning his eyes back to Andrews in hopes of distracting himself. No way was he going to think about Ryuuzaki like that, the man probably had the sex drive of a wet washcloth- if that.

Plus Light had Misa, as annoying as she was. Fortunately for him the bubbling blonde idol had been spending most of her time at work. Some sort of movie production or something along that line, he couldn't remember…

As far as he was concerned, neither of them were capable of holding his interest in a relationship despite their differences. Misa was a chatter box and Ryuuzaki was… well, Ryuuzaki.

That was reason enough.

Looking more shaken then ever, Andrews had turned back to Matsuda changing the topic to sports; something Ryuuzaki held no interest in as far as Light knew. Assuming it was safe, Light carefully turned back to face the detective who had thankfully lowered the jar of jam to the table and was leaning over the keyboard, his eyes shadowed by his black locks.

"Ryuuzaki, what-"

"Please come with me Light-kun…"

The teen did a double take as the detective practically leaped from his chair, walking quickly across the floor forcing Light to follow. His steps were quick and urgent, all traces of bad posture gone as he made his way up the glass stairs rapidly to the second floor. This alone was odd, Light having never stepped foot on the second floor in his life. There had never been any need until now and he was still lost as to what exactly that **need **was.

"Ryuuzaki-"

"H-hush.."

Thrown off by the shaky tone of his voice, Light allowed himself to be lead down the deserted hall into a random room with no particular importance or difference from the suite Ryuuzaki and him were occupying several floors above. The smell of unused plastic and fresh paint had barely begun to tickle his nose when the detective bolted into the white marble bathroom, his hands stretched out before him as he fell to his knees, grasping the crisp white rim of the toilet and retching into the open space- red jam and tea spilling fourth into the clean water.

Lights whole bodily momentarily went numb as he tried to process what exactly was happening. When he had noticed the detectives urgency he had expected it to be something concerning the case, a private piece of information meant for Light's ears only, no one else's.

He had never expected this.

The site of the glass eyed, doll like man doubled over in front of the porcelain throne was a rare one, perhaps even humorous do to his usual cocky nature. One might even go as far as to say he deserved it.

But the expression on his face… the ghostly white tint to his skin…

Light felt sorry for him.

"I'm sorry Light-kun…" he gasped, tilting his face up toward him, his eyes cast downward in what he took as a sign of shame before promptly convulsing forward and retching again.

Light had opened his mouth to speak but stopped upon the detectives second convulsion. With hesitance the teen quickly decided to taking it upon himself to be a friend for once and pull the detectives ink black hair away from his face as the blood red substance heaved from his body, wracking his skeleton like frame.

It was an odd picture; the worlds top detective heaving into an open toilet while his seventeen year old suspect held his hair back like a mother to her sick child.

Yet… everything about it… felt right.

Maybe it was the way he shook when he stopped, sweat beading on his pale brow as he locked his gaze on the floor in every attempt to avoid looking at him. Or perhaps it was the trace of pain in his eyes which Light had searched so hard for in his attempt to find the older man capable of human emotion.

Ryuuzaki had never appeared more human before now.

Light waited silently for him to finish, his free hand messaging the mans back in slow circles as he sat gasping, his body shaking so hard Light was sure he would fall apart. He carefully sunk to the floor, his back resting against the marble tub behind him as he struggled to catch his breath; the teens hand remained reassuringly on his shoulder giving it a soft squeeze. Regardless of the detectives condition he found it hard to look away from him.

He looked so… broken.

"Are you okay?" he asked after several long minutes, the hazy blackness in the mans eyes starting to disintegrate. A sullen nod was all he received, his face turned away from him. Light expected nothing less.

Hastily, Ryuuzaki wiped his mouth off on his sleeve and Light frowned in disgust at the childish act. "Ryuuzaki, use a tissue for god sake, here." he reached into his pocket to see if he had any extra when the detectives raised his head, his beetle black eyes locking onto him coldly.

"Why…"

He glanced at Light's hand on his shoulder as if it were some kind of vile beast, reaching a shaking hand over and gripping the teens wrist, pulling it away slowly. "Why are you so nice to me?"

"Cause your _throwing up, _that's why." Light snapped, finding the question to be more irksome then any he had ever asked him before. He wasn't going to stand there like a statue while he was puking his guts out into a toilet no matter how annoying and strange he was.

"… is that all Light-kun?" he asked, his black eyes flashing against his deathly pale skin. There was something about him now… something that made Light uneasy.

Oh god, he wasn't going to start playing the confession game now was he?

"Alright, if your going to try and relate the fact that I helped to ease your suffering to the fact that I might be Kira then your fucking twisted, Ryuuzaki!" he snapped, rising to his feet with rage in his eyes. The nerve… he had just helped him regardless of the way the detective had been treating him over the last three days and he was going to take his good deed and use it against him?

"Actually…" the detective tugged on his sleeve from his spot on the floor. "I was just curious. Honestly, I'm not in the mood to play that type of game with you right now…" he smiled weakly at the teen, letting his head tilt to the side drunkenly, his black locks sticking to his skin.

Light sighed heavily, taking pity on him; he really didn't have much more of a reason… at least, a reason he could explain. It just felt… right. "You're my friend Ryuuzaki, that's just what friends do…" he muttered, choosing his words carefully. "It's… just the right thing to do."

His words hung in the air heavily, a silence developing between them Light couldn't quite put his finger on; it wasn't necessarily uncomfortable… it was more like a breath of understanding- warm and sticky against their skin.

Light didn't know what had come over him; perhaps it was the ultimate stress of the situation. Perhaps he was just relying on instinct. Regardless, the teen found himself reaching his hand out to the detective to help haul the sickly man to his feet. It wasn't long before he came to realize the overall purpose for his kind actions.

He could use this to his advantage.

After they had cleaned up the bathroom so it mirrored it's original spotless order, Light planned his words carefully, washing his hands off in the marble sink and wiping them off on a nearby towel . "Ryuuzaki, how about you lie down for awhile?" he suggested, guiding the detective out into the suite. A bed had to be somewhere; A sweet, _glorious_ bed….

"Light-kun that isn't necessary." he frowned, pulling away from the teens grasp as if he had just asked him to lie down in an open casket. "I'm fully capable of continuing my work with the others."

"When someone's _sick, _they rest until they are _better_," Light explained, emphasizing each word in irritation; a good nights rest would do both of them some good. "I'm sure Watari would tell you the same."

"But I'm not sick…"

"Sure you are, why else would you thro-"

"Because I hate jam."

Light raised an eyebrow, perplexed. "Then why would you eat it?"

Ryuuzaki's thumb carefully anchored itself in between his teeth and he cast his eyes downward; Light was becoming all too familiar with this expression of his. Apparently the reason as to why he had purposely eaten something he disliked to the point of making himself sick was a reason he was not willing to share.

"I can't tell you Light-kun."

_Predictable as usual, Ryuuzaki._

"Why not?" he asked angrily, stepping over his boundaries. "You have to have a reason why and it's better if you tell me so I wont have a heart attack when you start puking your guts out again!"

"I never said I didn't have a reason."

"Then what is it!?"

"It's my business."

"Ryuuzaki, just fucking tell m-"

" _**Twelve **__**percent,**__ Light-kun."_

His words cut through the air sharply, serving as more of a threat then an accusation. Light was left dangling with his unspoken words still fresh in his mouth- forced to swallow them for the sake of his freedom.

God, he hated him.

Assuming Ryuuzaki's final words were the lock and key of the conversation, Light made to storm out of the room, ignoring the fact he was still securely chained to the walking corpse- he just wanted to get AWAY. If he kept pulling this sort of nonsense with him…

"Light-kun."

"Yes Ryuuzaki?" venom dripped from his voice, burning holes into the carpeted floor beneath his feet.

The detective awkwardly positioned himself between the chestnut haired teen and the door, his toes curling in and out beneath his faded jeans. "Since you did so graciously assist me, regardless of the way I have been treating you over the past few weeks, I am willing to make…well… a deal, of some sorts." he explained, tilted his head to the side, void like eyes glinting in there sockets. "That is, if your interested."

Light's eyes narrowed.

It was a trap.

It HAD to be…

…….

"I'm listening."

---

It was rare that L-being the stubborn, blunt, person that he was- ever obliged to a 'favor,' as Light called it. For the other part of the deal he had planned out for his benefit required little physical or mental stress on Light's part(which wasn't completely true but he figured things could have been worse. a lot worse. )

Ryuuzaki on the other hand…

It wasn't that he disliked beds. In fact, he didn't mind the comfort of a bed as much as he let on; he found the spacious square of cloud like bliss rather relaxing and soothing to the body.

It was the overwhelming feeling of vulnerability which came with it.

So when the Task Force Members had hustled home and the sun had sunk beyond the horizon, the raven haired man found it hard to sit still as he clicked away at his laptop on the far edge of the comforter, the pale light from the monitor causing his frost black eyes to glitter. Light had proceeded to take advantage of the situation and talk his ear off all the while, his hands folded behind his head as he relaxed against the covers, body slack with exhaustion.

Ryuuzaki clutched the laptop tightly against him.

He wasn't exactly looking forward to the sleeping part.

For reasons he didn't care to reminisce.

But he knew he couldn't avoid it any longer.

He found himself asking questions sometimes, each one directed at no one in particular; he just had kept everything in for so long he just wondered if maybe… if someone _was_ listening…

What would they say?

How would they respond?

For years he had been wondering; each question silent against his lips, locked inside be sheer force of will. He wanted to know _why_ things had turned out how they did, _why _his quest for perfection had ended so early in his life.

But he knew why.

He just wished… hoped… there was a better explanation.

He wished he had never lost.

To _him._

To the sick, twisted, inhuman filth who paraded around wearing his face without shame; the one who was perfect and flawless enough to be his very shadow- his shattered image amidst a collection of broken shards.

Yes, L was certain…

As long as he existed… as long as someone out there knew of the wicked deeds which had befallen him…

Justice would never be perfect.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm really not happy with leaving this here and to be truthful, I hadn't planned on leaving it here and I also planned on having this story out by Sunday. As you can see, that failed to happen.

The fact that I cut the chapter off here is going to bug me all week…augh…

Unfortunately my schedule is a mess and I have a lot to organize and get together so basically, I want to get this out of the way first. Will my schedule effect how often I update? Yes. But I am pleased to inform you I am very dedicated to this story and the possibility of me dropping this story before it is finished is highly unlikely.

So no worries, savvy?

R & R!

- Arrow


	2. B

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Death Note or any of the character _in_ Death Note.

Wow, love the feedback I have been receiving! Much thanks to all of you who reviewed, you really all seem about as excited about this as I am!

One important thing I forgot to mention about this story is, basically, **the BB Case has not taken place. **L simply met Naomi through another case, one which did not involve B.

Mucho thanks to **Corrupted Sanctuary **for the help, I was uncertain of Light and L's age, regardless of my resources and she helped clear that up for me.

Lastly, my apologize for my grammar. I'm in AP English and I'm really drilling myself and working to improve; me and grammar haven't had much of an understanding in the past but its getting better!

So, where were we? Oh yes, bedroom….

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

L didn't sleep.

He had, of course, agreed to let Light Yagami have one decent nights rest burrowed beneath the stiff collection of unused blankets, the outline of his thin frame visible beneath the woven olive material. Despite the teens earlier protests on Ryuuzaki's refusal to sleep, he had gone silent nearly four hours ago, the great lump beside him rising and falling steadily like waves upon a shore.

Yes, Ryuuzaki had agreed to allow Light to sleep in a bed like a regular human being; however, he had not mentioned anything about sleeping with him (or beside him for that matter.)

It wasn't anything personal; in fact, the detective found the teens sleeping prescience somewhat soothing. Kira or not, in this state he was completely venerable and incapable of harm allowing L some free time to ponder and observe the chestnut haired teen without having to withstand a sharp glare or a punch to the face.

In this state, Light was practically at his mercy.

His thumb pushed against the plump skin of his bottom lip as he watched the teen momentarily, his laptop forgotten; if this boy wasn't Kira… no… he **had** to be; he would never go to such extremes just for a mere assumption. Everything that had happened pointed to him, every piece of the puzzle lined up, every chocolate covered lie tasted more bitter then sweet.

But he couldn't prove it- not yet.

Still…

The teen shifted in his sleep, the covers slipping away from him revealing his angelic face- flawless and masked with tainted innocence Ryuuzaki fought so hard to see through.

He had called him his '_friend.'_

This frustrated him. Even after he had clearly told him he had no time, he was still persistent; when he had thrown up he had expected the teen to cringe with disgust. Never in his dreams would he have envisioned a person of Light Yagami's nature to assist him in such a way. Even after he had pricked his finger…

It made no sense.

'_Perhaps that's just what friends do…' _he told himself, revising Light's words from earlier. Ryuuzaki had never had any friends; social interaction resulting in personal attachment was frowned upon in the detective field of work and refrained from it as much as possible. To think he would gain a friend now… out of all of his previous cases….

Well, the handcuffs were a big help.

But still…

It was a big risk.

Plus there was something…._else._

A heavy knock came from the wooden door, causing the bed frame to tremble beneath the detective-Light's frame shifting slightly beneath the covers. His body tensed, eyes staring wide, unblinking as he quickly calculated the possibilities of who would be disturbing him at this time of night. He was positive it was not Watari; the witty butler would have been smart enough to call beforehand.

Then it dawned on him.

Recollecting himself, Ryuuzaki moved his laptop to the side, minding the chain as he rose to his feet, bones cracking as his body shifted for the first time in hours. The trip to the door was short, but the chain came up even shorter as he grasped the handle, having to hold his arm out behind his back to avoid awakening Light.

He didn't need to hear this.

Carefully he creaked the door open, peering out into the darkness of the suite with owl like features. The figure of a man was visible no more then two feet before him, his arms at his sides, still dressed in his office attire but lacking the usual good natured expression.

"Mr. Andrews." L nodded, keeping his voice to its minimal murmur.

"L," he nodded in return, his expression hard as stone. "My apologize for disturbing you at such a late hour but-"

"I am very aware of the reason as to why you are here Mr. Andrews." He interrupted, speaking in English for the sake of keeping the conversation private. "Informing me will only inconveniently lengthen this conversation for both of us."

The man was startled by this and Ryuuzaki couldn't help but notice the minor similarity between him and Light; it was the age mostly, Andrews being little more then four to three year older then him. The coldness in his eyes was another but L hadn't quite seen such resentment in the chestnut haired teens features for some time now. It was if that part of him had dissolved after his fifty day confinement…

"He sent you of course?" L pressed, trapping him with his black eyes. The silence stretched on awhile longer before Andrews seemed to gather up his courage and speak into the darkness.

"He told me you would know all of this already but I didn't believe him." he muttered darkly. "Amazing… but not as amazing as the similarity."

"Don't." the words flew from his mouth before he could stop them causing a smirk to slide across the mans lips; He took a confident step forward but L stood his ground feeling the chain tighten against his wrist as Light turned over in his sleep in the room behind him.

"What, is the famous L ashamed that he shares the same face as a mass criminal?" he taunted, eyes glinting.

"I would appreciate it if you would just tell me everything he told you to so I can resume my work and you can go back to the filth you reside in to inform him of my response." he snapped, placing his hands in the safety of his pockets. "I assume he's still in America?"

"For now." it was more of a threat then a response. "He's interested in the Kira Case."

"This case doesn't concern him."

"If it concerns you, it concerns him."

"Did he tell you to say that?"

"He say's you are both the same person and after seeing you, I believe it."

"We are not, the same person!" L snapped raising his voice, eyes flashing in rage; they were opposites in every way, minus shape and form. "Anything he has told you about me is a lie."

"Not after everything I've seen. "

"Looks are deceiving."

"I mean you, in general. You're everything he said you were from the inside out. Not a detail out of place." his eyes darkened, looking him over from top to bottom with a hunger which seemed to blossom from the heaviness in the air. "Though I am curious…"

His hands fell upon him before L could stop them, pinning his free hand above his head against the doorframe while his other dangled helplessly, caught by the tightness of the chain. He turned his head away, gritting his teeth in displeasure as he felt his cold fingers slide beneath his shirt, lifting it up to reveal the pale, sleek skin of his stomach; he wanted to strike him, to push him away and shrink into a ball away from his touch and everyone else's. But he was afraid the action might awaken Light and he would rather die then be caught in such a humiliating predicament.

He had his pride.

He had just begun to tremble when he was yanked back by the force of the chain, teetering to the side out of the mans grasp, his fingers slipping from his wrist allowing him to brace himself with his hands as he hit the floor. He took advantage of this, using his position to land a hard kick to Andrews chest sending him flying into the darkness of the room where he landed with a loud clatter, the walls trembling with the impact.

Panting, L crawled to his feet, squinting into the darkness with a look of liquid death set into his coal black eyes; he could see the outline of the man sprawling across the floor, his chest heaving from the impact.

"You can leave whenever you want, though I expect he's in a hurry for you to get back." he leaned his back against the door frame casually. "When you do return to America, please tell him one thing for me…."

Black eyes glinted in there sockets like fading stars stamped against an endless void.

"The Kira Case is between L and Kira. Not Kira and Beyond."

Silence trailed behind his words and the detective, assuming the conversation over, went to turn into the other room when laughter echoed from behind him ringing against the walls hidden in the darkness of the room.

"Do you really think the case matters that much to him?"

L remained silent.

"It's true solving the Kira case would put him in a position far above yours. But lets stop beating around the bush here and speak the obvious…"

"It's _you_ he wants."

Chills wracked L's small frame but he remained still, letting his words hang in the air before dissolving into the night leaving the conversation teetering on the edge of a knife; he didn't want it to continue. Everything he was saying was just a repeat of word's which had been spoken to him years ago.

Stepping into the bedroom, Ryuuzaki turned and curled his fingers around the brass door knob keeping his gaze turned toward the ground offering Andrews nothing except his final words.

"… I know."

He closed the door silently, allowing his feet to guide him back to the undisturbed side of the bed and curl up amongst the covers, kicking his laptop to the floor where it landed with a soft clatter. He hugged his knees to his chest and shut his eyes, waiting for the fear he had kept hidden so tightly inside to evaporate. It infuriated him that he felt such a way… that he trembled at the slightest touch like a frightened child…

"I know you're awake Light-kun."

An awkward silence met his ears.

"I thank you for helping me. But please never mention this to anyone else."

The detective shut his eyes, having no intentions of sleeping but rather to block out the images forming within the shadows of the room.

'_It will be our little secret.' _

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

"More pancakes please."

Sunlight streamed through the diner windows reflecting off the collection of dishes scattered across the table like tombstones, each one packed with a collection of pancakes, waffles, tarts, crepe's, and cakes. Ryuuzaki surrounded himself with these creating somewhat of a 'comfort zone' as Light remained on the opposite side of the table sipping a single cup of coffee, leaving the assortment of delights to be consumed by the sweet toothed detective; he had fulfilled his end of the bargain, now Light was fulfilling his. The handcuffs had proven embarrassing at the start, but Light had conveniently managed to convince Ryuuzaki to lace the chain beneath the table, hiding it from view.

All sunshine and daisies from here, right?

Hell no.

"…Ryuuzaki, about last night-"

"No."

"I gave you food, you owe me an explanation!"

"You never did order those extra pancakes if I recall, Light-kun."

"Screw the pancakes, this is _you_ we're talking about!"

"If you don't order me more pancakes I will be extremely disappointed and the more disappointed I am, the more you will start looking like a mass killer."

"_Ryuuzaki for god-"_

"Hush." he pointed his fork at him threateningly, syrup dripping from the corner of his mouth. "Order. Now."

Light sipped his coffee in bitter defeat; he had been like this all morning. Despite the excellent sleep the teen had received the previous night, he couldn't shake the conversation he had awoken too amidst the early hours of the morning. He wouldn't have minded nearly half as much if it wasn't for the fact the conversation had been in Japanese instead of English which Ryuuzaki only chose to speak in his prescience for one reason and one reason only:

To keep him in the dark.

But he had another mission in mind, one which seemed more easier to accomplish then prying an explanation from the detectives lips.

He wanted that bed as his own.

"Ryuuzaki, how about another deal?"

Marble black eyes peered at him from behind a fresh stack of pancakes, each strawberry gleaming amongst there sea of whipped cream. "Thirteen percent Light-kun."

… Apparently that was a no.

"I'll leave you alone if you agree."

"Light-kun…" his voice was dangerous, even when muffled with strawberries.

"I will also throw in an extra order of pancakes and take you out to eat every Sunday."

He paused, fork positioned thoughtfully between his teeth.

Oh, he had him.

"I'm listening." he muttered cautiously.

"I will give you all of that and whatever else you want if you agree to let me sleep in that bed from now on."

"Completely out of the question." he stabbed his fork into the last strawberry, plucking it into his mouth without hesitation. "Once is once."

Light frowned. "I'll order you another batch of pancakes and throw in more waffles."

"No."

"Two orders of waffles."

"Light-"

"**Three!"**

Light slammed his fist against the diner table causing the dishes to tremble dangerously. Ryuuzaki looked up from his feast meeting the teens chocolate brown eyes as they blazed with determination, all traces of humor gone from his features.

"Three orders of waffles, two orders of pancakes, and breakfast every Sunday, that's my final offer."

A foolish type of tension grew between them as the detective stared at him wide eyed, syrup dripping down the silver handle of his fork as customers bustled around them oblivious to there situation; Light wanted that bed, he would spend his life savings for it.

The fork slipped out from between Ryuuzaki's teeth and was lowered carefully against the place mat for the first time in forty-five minutes; the look on his face was one of utter irritation.

Light felt a spark of hope.

"One week." the chain jingled beneath the table and the detective rested his chin against his knees. "One week, that's all."

"Eh…" Light thought about it; a week was good… but it was still just a week… it wasn't his exact goal. "Ryuuzaki, how about-"

The fork jabbed at him again. "Unless of course," he smiled darkly, his black locks tickling his cheeks, "You confess that you are, indeed, Kira. Then I may be able to offer you the bed for our remaining time together which will be shorter then a week, I assure you."

…….

_That was low, Ryuuzaki…_

Light folded his arms across his chest, taking a sip of his now cold coffee resisting every urge to reach across the table and wring the mans neck until the life oozed from him like the syrup he poured so heavily onto his collection of food.

"A week will be fine."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The smile never left his face that day.

Regardless of the somewhat success of Light's bargain, he couldn't help but wonder why the detective had agreed so easily; perhaps it was because Light had _conveniently _pulled the chain at the right moment when he heard the raised voices from the door way that eerie night, or perhaps Ryuuzaki was fulfilling his duty as a friend.

Hell, perhaps he was testing him in some odd, disturbing fashion.

Either way, Light was happy.

But there was still one minor problem.

Ryuuzaki still wouldn't sleep.

He hadn't expected the detective to make the deal picture perfect. Of course he would find a way around the fine print, explaining to Light how he had agreed to his wishes but had never mentioned anything about participating in them as he had so bluntly explained the first time. The teen cursed himself for not covering it when he had the chance.

But that was L, wasn't it? He would never make anything easy for Light no matter the highs or lows. The teen was nothing but a pawn he chose to move around at will and unfortunately for him, Kira was playing his pieces in the exact same fashion as Light making him the number one suspect in the detectives eyes.

But his hatred for him was childish- it was the small things which ticked him off the most. The way he ignored him when he talked, the look on his face of utter boredom every time he tried to start a conversation. He was supposed to be his number one suspect, shouldn't he be paying him a little more attention?

If he hadn't known about the detectives other case Light would have attempt suicide by now, he had figured out that much; but he still disliked being kept in the dark- he could assist him, he had the knowledge, the wits…

They could crack the case together.

The very thought made him itch with determination and he almost cornered the detective as they made their way to their room that night, praying he would listen. He would be able to help Ryuuzaki as Light Yagami, not as a suspect he kept attached to him at the wrist- it was far less degrading.

But he cast the thought aside; he had used up half of his remaining luck getting the bed to himself that week and was about to use the rest of it to make his remaining wishes come true.

"Ryuuzaki, I would really appreciate it if you would sleep tonight." he muttered, forcing the words from his throat as he peeled back the covers from his half of the bed. "It would do you some good."

The detective hopped up onto his side of the bed, placing the laptop out before him without so much as a glance. "We've been over this already."

Light shrugged; it wouldn't be the first time. He dropped the conversation momentarily as he slid in between the covers, watching the detective out of the corner of his eye as his spider like fingers messed with the keypad.

His eyes narrowed in confusion.

'_You can't beat electronics, Ryuuzaki.'_

The screen remained blank as the raven haired man continued to fiddle with the keys, hoping that by some spark of magic it would turn on. He flipped the council over, staring at the variety of compartments looking for missing pieces, dents, visible wires, anything to explain why the instrument wasn't turning on.

On queue, Light watched smirking as he reached his hand into his back pocket for his cell phone pulling out nothing but a few old candy wrappers and a receipt. His brow furrowed as he continued to turn out every pocket, coming up short every time. It wasn't until he noticed the teens unusual silence that he turned his gaze to him, his eyes narrowing as he drank in the expression in his chocolate brown eyes.

Oh, yes- Light had won this time.

And the best part was Ryuuzaki could do nothing about it.

"You play dirty Light-kun."

"Speak for yourself." he shot back, reaching over and shutting off the light with a snap; he could sit in the dark for all he cared, though he knew it wouldn't be long before the darkness began to work against him- the detective would sleep whether he wanted to or not.

The teen had just begun to drift off when there was a series of thumps beside him rattling the bed dangerously; annoyed, he jolted is head to the side to see what all the fuss was about, squinting into the darkness to make out the outline of the detective.

"Light…"

"What!?" he hissed, not wanting to start another argument; that's all he wanted was a proper nights rest, Ryuuzaki should be _thanking_ him for assuring that he didn't drop dead from exhaustion one of these days.

"Do you mind if I sleep by you?"

The words hit him like a shower of rocks and he couldn't help but raise his head from the pillow, drinking in the black shadow of Ryuuzaki hugging his knees to his chest on the opposite end of the bed. The words were a sign of defeat, he knew that much. But it was the tone in his voice which caused his heart to flutter dangerously.

"No, it's fine…"

He lowered his head back onto the pillow as the detective shifted, watching as he pulled the covers up over himself and disappeared beneath them so only his wild mane of hair was visible against the pillow top. The site was as strange as it was adorable allowing Light to see the detective in an entirely different way.

'_I really can't figure you out Ryuuzaki…'_

He let his body relax into the comforter, his eyes glazed over as he drifted into the first stages of sleep, unable to tear his eyes away from the person he loathed so much curled up beside him like a child. In this state he appeared completely harmless, almost angelic.

Ryuuzaki was a special type of angel, that was for sure.

"Thank you…" he found himself muttering as he drifted out of the last few layers of consciousness, eyes fluttering shut against the nights emptiness. Ryuuzaki offered him no reply, remaining curled up amidst his protective nest of blankets wondering exactly why he couldn't bring himself to hate the only person who ever truly defied him.

'_I really can't understand you Light-kun…"_

'_But perhaps it's better that way.'_

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_It felt right- that was all that mattered to Light._

_As wrong as it was, as twisted as the ties, ribbons, and bows had become in all of there beauty and flawless innocence Light had allowed them to tighten until all feeling was lost to him as he lay curled up amidst the carpet of the empty suite room- though he could be wrong, for he had never remembered there being so many windows in the vacant room, sunlight streaming from them like liquid gold sent from the highest reigns of heaven. _

_Not even heaven could replace the beauty he held so tightly to him. _

_Black eyes stared at him with all the expression in the world, silhouetted by raven locks which the blazing sunlight could not even force to shine; Light preferred it this way, the mans resistance to the angelic room showing his true colors, his inner strength which had begun to dwindle before he had taken notice, rushing to his rescue._

_He recalled none of it- but something inside him told him it was true; to leave it alone and not question the situation. _

_Gentle fingers laced against his, hesitant and soft against the warm skin of his hand causing blood to rise to the surface of Light's cheeks; he increased the action, messaging the back of the detectives skeleton like hand with the pad of his thumb noting how it began to tremble even as he pulled away- he was fragile, inside and out though it had taken him this long to realize it._

_Then it dawned on him._

_He didn't know what had come over him; never in his life had he felt such a desire, such a burning feeling as this. It bled from every orphism of his body streamed from his eyes, and escaped in the form of tears as he reached out and pulled the detectives shaking form against his, capturing his lips with his own in a kiss so passionate he was afraid the man might break from the force of it- trembling and shaking as he returned the action with hesitance causing Light's heart to ignite in a flurry of flames. He wanted this creature before him, wanted to see him cry, to beg… _

_There was no doubt in his mind that this was a dream- Light knew that much. Even as he slid his tongue through the detectives parted lips he realized the chances of such a thing happening in reality was about three out of four hundred, if that. Ryuuzaki was not intimate, with anybody, especially not Light concerning all of their past arguments and brawls. They were lucky to even be friends with the way things were going. _

_But part of him couldn't help but feel… disappointed._

_Light laced his hands through Ryuuzaki's hair, pulling him closer until there body were pressed against each other, friction building against there jeans as they moved about; he broke the kiss to allow air back into his lung, though he felt he could much rather do without it if it meant making the dream last longer. The detective panted in his ear as he began kissing every inch of skin he could get his hands on gaining momentum off of the way he shuddered and whined every time he ran his tongue over a new area, nipping and sucking at the white flesh. The taste was bliss… sugary against his tongue._

"_L-Light…"_

_He ignored him, slipping his fingers beneath the cotton fabric of his top and running them across the thin flesh he kept hidden from the world. He arched up into his touch, his shallow voice reaching a new pitch as something wet brushed across Light's fingertips proceeding to move his hand about, tracing circles across his flat stomach and digging his nails into his hips._

"_Light, stop…" There was a trace of panic in his voice now and the teen felt a surge of anger, not wanting to cut his time with this imaginary L short and have to wake up and face the bitter slap of reality. Instead, he silenced him with his lips, the detectives pleas muffled against his mouth as he continued where he left off, lapping up every trace of sugar he could find. _

_The taste had changed._

_He hadn't noticed it at first, too caught up in the midst of his actions to make note of the coppery substance coating his tongue. He cringed when it exploded in his mouth, pulling away and placing his hand on the side of Ryuuzaki's face, noting the pain in his eyes, the look of hysteria which appeared so foreign amongst his porcelain features. _

_He could feel it now; The sticky wetness beneath his fingers as he pulled his hand out from underneath Ryuuzaki's shirt, blood seeping through the white fabric like paint upon a blank canvas. It dribbled from the corner of his mouth, weeped from his eyes, poured from every section of skin Light had touched, killing him softly in the most delicate and sinful of ways._

_The sunlight faded from the windows leaving the broken L bleeding beneath the darkness of Light's shadow, watching the stars as they evaporated from his eyes; the teen remained still, his body numb with shock as he tried to make sense of what had happened, what was **happening. **he wanted to wake up…to undo what had happened._

"_He wasn't yours."_

_Light turned on the spot, fear creeping into his heart as a shadow far more terrible then his own loomed over him, red eyes glinting in the darkness devouring whatever light remained in the hellish room which had become his own personal hell._

"_You do not touch what does not belong to you…"_

"…_**Kira.**__"_

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Pain irrupted from the top of Light's skull, throwing him into consciousness without even so much as a warning. He hissed, sitting up and clutching his head in agony feeling his brain jump start into gear. Everything was spinning. Even with everything coated in darkness he felt like he was trapped on some three star carnival ride.

Fuck, it hurt…

The bed continued to move beneath him and he glanced to the side just in time to see Ryuuzaki's head immerge from beneath the covers like a turtle from it's shell. He would have found the site humorous if the look on the detectives face wasn't as similar to the look he had worn in his dream moments before he had been so rudely awakened.

Fear gripped at his heart.

"Ryuuzaki, are you okay?" he asked, his voice hoarse. The man turned toward him sharply as if just realizing he was there, his breath quick and loud, stinging through the night air.

Light swallowed nervously. "Ryuuzaki, what-"

"I'm f-fine."

The teens head throbbed painfully and he swayed to the side bracing himself against the headboard. There was something wrong, he knew it. But he had been so rudely awakened that his body was starting to sink back into it's peaceful state, lying back down amongst the comforter watching Ryuuzaki with half lidded eyes.

He was worried; more worried then he should be.

"Go back to sleep Light-kun." Ryuuzaki ordered from above him, the fear still teetering on the edge of his voice as he curled back up among the covers. He would **not **go back to sleep; he would never shut his eyes again as long as such memories remained imbedded into the very core of his being, more real then they had ever been while he was unconscious.

He was only free when he was awake.

Light, as concerned for him as he was, could never understand.

Ever.

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Apologize for any spelling errors I may have missed.

Warning, I will most likely not be updating this story next week because I'm invovled in a local play in my home town and it will be taking place this friday and throughout the weekend.

Until next time.

R & R!

-Arrow


	3. C

**Arrow: **Feedback has been amazing people! Sorry for the lack of updating, like I said, I have been busy and have been working on this on and off. Thus, it has finally been completed!

One small thing I would like to mention is that a lot of you seem to have your own theories on who exactly B is and so on and so fourth, regardless of whether you have read the book or not. This alone, is wonderful! It means this story isn't as predictable as I thought it would be.

Also, this chapter we get to see B for the first time. Whoo!

Heads up, Death Note: Another Note is coming out February 19th and I hope you all go out and give it a nice read, I surely am!

**Now Read!**

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**_/C/_**

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Light's week of angelic bliss did not go as planned. He had, of course, expected that something might come along and interrupt his flawless (if the seemingly not so innocent form of the walking corpse strapped to his wrist) but instead of being upset, the teen found himself rather perplexed.

Ryuuzaki was acting… odd.

Odder then usual, though Light had never thought it possible.

Everything was connected-he knew that much. That night Andrews had visited their room still haunted him, even after Ryuuzaki had announced that the mysterious man was taking a flight back to Los Angeles do to certain issues with the other case which L couldn't tend to in person.

"He is going back to America to report any changes or updates in the case to me by phone." he explained to Light after he had hesitantly asked him as to why Andrews had left. Bleach white fingers plucked a single red cherry from the glass bowl placed out before him and he plopped it into his mouth, flashing the teen a dark grin. "He is acting… as my eyes, I guess you could say."

He didn't question him; there was something about that grin that told Light he probably shouldn't press the matter. Ryuuzaki didn't grin unless he was amused by something which was rare, especially ever since that night Light had whacked his head on the backboard of the bed.

That dream…

God damn, that dream…

The bed no longer felt like a place of comfort; not as long as the detective remained perched upon it, asleep or not. Light found himself staring at the black eyed figure from beneath his fortress of covers, wondering how such thoughts had managed to weasel there way into his subconscious. The thought of him ever engaged in such acts with Ryuuzaki was completely unheard of and he was appalled that he had dreamt such a crude thing.

But it had felt…right.

Perhaps that was the type of reaction he had been looking for in the detective; seeing him plead and struggle in his grasp like that enticed him, stretching his imagination far beyond its usual four wall boundaries. They became fantasies for him, erotic daydreams which led him by the hand into the dark abyss of his mind every night before he fell asleep- soiling his thoughts until he could barely look Ryuuzaki in the eye anymore.

He blamed it on his environment; being handcuffed to someone of Ryuuzaki's nature, regardless of gender, was bound to cause sexual frustration. He was seventeen for god sake and- as far as he was concerned- was the victim of the situation do to his raging adolescence.

Fuck hormones- he was at fault.

The situation didn't ease up however, even as it neared Light's last two day's of mattress time. He had been raging a war with himself, fighting to clear his mind of much too pleasant thoughts in order to avoid tugging the detective from his laptop to reach the security of the bathroom- only a single wooden door keeping them apart.

But Light had been able to handle this problem efficiently - as bothersome and embarrassing as it was.

It was the _other _problem which irked him.

"It's been four days…" Light groaned, seated on the edge of the bed across from Ryuuzaki, watching his distorted reflection in the shiny backing of his laptop. "Will you please, _please _tell me why you won't sleep?"

"Because I have more important things to do." was the only reply he received, not even earning a glance from the black holes in the detectives face. Light knew this was a lie, perhaps one of the biggest lies he had ever told. Last Sunday L's behavior in the middle of the night was peculiar and he had his own speculations as to the cause of it.

"Ryuuzaki, did something… happen last Sunday?" he asked, keeping the tone of his voice low. He didn't expect a straight answer, let alone a truthful one. But he couldn't help but ask just in case he was wrong.

"Nothing happened, I just had a dream Yagami-kun." he replied, iciness on the edge of his words. Both there eyes met at the same time and Light couldn't help but let the horror brimming beneath the surface of his skin reflect in the chocolate pools of his eyes.

It couldn't… it couldn't have been… the same dream… could it?

His horrified expression had caught Ryuuzaki's interest and his black orbs zoomed in on him, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. "Did you have a dream too, Light-kun? I have been curious as to why you awakened so late at night after you made such a fuss about wanting to sleep in this thing." he asked, flicking his eyes at the mattress beneath him before refocusing on the teens face.

"I woke up because the bed was moving around and I hit my head." he told him testily; it wasn't a lie, he was just keeping out certain information. No way in hell was he going to tell Ryuuzaki about his dream, he rather lose the bed then face the humiliation.

'_He'd probably find some way to use it as evidence of me being Kira.' _he thought, trying to picture the detective explaining to his father and the team that do to his 'sexual frustration' toward him he was no doubt a mass murder.

Ha. He _would._

Ryuuzaki seemed to accept Light's words and turned back to his laptop but the teen wasn't through with him.

"Well what did you dream about?"

Ryuuzaki's flashed his eyes at him and Light felt shivers trail across his skin, trying his best to shake them off. "It's just a simple question, damn it!"

"It's private."

"Well if it's preventing you from sleeping then maybe it's best if I know."

"Why do you want me to sleep so badly Light-kun?" the detective sighed, becoming more annoyed as the teen continued to press him. "I'm perfectly capable of functioning without sleep, the only reason I'm even agreeing to this is because you helped me and also promised to take me out to eat which I _do_ happen to enjoy by the way." he added, tapping his finger on the smooth surface of his laptop. "I watch you every night before you fall asleep, you slip into unconsciousness precisely five to seven minutes after you shut you eyes and transition into REM sleep about forty-five minutes after and continue on and off throughout the night. Unless you have some sort of hidden motive for wanting me to sleep, I don't see why me staying awake bothers you so much."

"Well- wait… you watch me?" Light breathed, his eyes dilating in bewilderment. "Ryuuzaki that's sick!"

"Don't get your hopes up, you're actually quite boring." he explained in his usual tone, turning his eyes back to the monitor. "It's only around two o'clock you start to get noisy."

Blood rushed to Light's cheeks and he sat up, his anger boiling as he struggled to cover up his embarrassment. He could only imagine the things that might have come out of his mouth… the dreams… the situation. Could it be possible that Ryuuzaki knew all of this, that he may actually have been mumbling the detectives name in his sleep four the last week and been completely oblivious to it?

"Don't worry yourself Light-kun, you haven't said anything important." the detective assured him, amusement glinting in his eyes, allowing him a glimpse of a smile across his pale lips. "Not yet, of course."

Light opened his mouth to speak, to spew words of disgust and resentment in the mans face in hopes of knocking down the walls he had built securely around himself and wound him from the inside. But he managed to stop himself as the detectives words slowly sank in, triggering a small spark of understanding in the back of his skull.

Ryuuzaki wasn't referring to the erotic dreams he had been having lately; he was referring to the fact that he might be Kira and spill his secrets while he was unconscious.

Relief spread through him but only momentarily. Sure, he was free of Ryuuzaki thinking he was some sex deprived teenager but he wasn't even close to being free of the main reason he was forced to withstand the detective's prescience in the first place. The only reason the insomniac wouldn't sleep was because he was determined to get information out of him while he was venerable, the little cheat.

Well he knew how to fix **that**.

Before the detective could process what he was doing, Light had reached over and yanked the laptop from his grasp, folding it shut and turning it over so he could gain access to the battery, his mind set on ripping the life out of it like he had done before. Ryuuzaki reached out and curled his skeletal fingers around the black base, yanking it back toward him with a look of death and astonishment set into his eyes- Light kept his grip on it strong.

"Give it back Light-kun." he demanded, keep his voice low for the moment. The teen shook his head, pulling it back toward him determined to get it away from him; without his laptop Ryuuzaki would have no choice but to sleep, then Light would be able to rest easy knowing he wasn't being watched.

"The chances of me letting go of this thing is zero." he hissed, giving the laptop another hard tug sending the detective flying forward out of his usual sitting position. "As is my percentage of being Kira."

"That's a lie, we both know that." Ryuuzaki snapped. "I would never go to such extremes if I wasn't sure of whom you really are. "

"I'm not Kira, the fact that I actually want to sleep like a normal human being should be proof enough!"

"Like I said, you sleep fine Light-kun, Kira or not." the detective growled, yanking the laptop toward him with strength the teen didn't know he had. "Let go."

"I'm not sleeping unless you agree to sleep too!" he had said it, regardless of how childish he sounded. As expected, the look on the detectives face had changed to one of perplexion but the anger still lingered as he stood his ground, nails digging into the plastic covering of the wireless device.

"Light-"

"Don't get the wrong idea," he added hastily, gritting his teeth in frustration. " I just don't like you watching me like some pervert!"

The perplexion dissolved from his face in a heartbeat. "I'm not sleeping so you'll just have to live with it."

"No!" using all of his strength, Light tore the laptop out of his hands with one swift pull, chucking it across the floor where it landed against the wall with a loud crash, the screen twisting to the side, breaking away from it's metal hinges and falling to the floor where it remained broken and crippled. The teen glanced at the wreckage and would have felt bad for his rash action if it wasn't for the uncontrollable wave of anger which had taken hold of him concocted by a brutal combination of frustration, helplessness, and loss of patience. He was sick of pleading to the detective to get what he wanted, sick of having to put up with his half hearted replies, sick of his very prescience.

"I'm _not_ going to live with it because living with you always by my side no matter where I go is enough! I'm sick of always arguing with you and being treated like a kid even though you told me not to long ago you saw me as almost an equal and you really wanted my help on the case. But how exactly do you expect me to be able to _help _you if you won't treat me like a normal human being or, even worse, tell me the truth!" he yelled, eyes blazing.

"I have been telling you the truth." Ryuuzaki snapped, his voice rising so it matched Light's volume. "You just choose not to believe my explanations."

"No, you lie to me Ryuuzaki and the only reasonable explanation I can come with is that you don't trust me!"

"I trust you…"

"Then why don't you tell me anything concerning the case in Los Angeles?" he pressed, edging closer to him. "Why won't you tell me the reason as to why you threw up that day, why you got into that fight with Andrews, why you won't sleep in a fucking bed just because you have stupid nightmares?" he was almost hysterical now, his hands clutching at the comforter in an attempt to keep his hands from flying up and wrapping around the detectives neck to squeeze the life out of his thin frame. "Why won't you treat me like an equal and tell me what the hell is going on!?"

The detectives face had gone blank, his spider black eyes staring through him, seeming to shrink into himself as he was pressed for an answer by the teens flesh burning gaze.

"… Because I can't Light-kun."

Pain shot through the left side of his cheek as his head snapped to the side, whatever emotion he had hidden beneath his perfectly placed mask shattering. The teen's hands grabbed him by the front of his shirt, hauling him forward so his face was inches from his own; his frantic voice ringing in his ears as he screamed.

"That's not good enough, I need a reason, a _real_ reason Ryuuzaki!" his hand stung from the contact against the detectives face but he didn't regret his action in the least, noticing the sudden change in his facial expression; his eyes were averted away from him, staring at the wall with a look the teen couldn't quite place.

…bitter…

Silenced hovered around them with the ferocity of a hawk, it's wings brushing across Light's snarling face, opposite that of L who remained still and dormant in the teens grasp; it was as if Light's yelling had caused him to shut off, petrified at the spot like a statue chiseled around the flesh of his hands. The teen wanted an answer, a reasonable answer- one he could staple to the stack of events which had taken place for reasons he couldn't explain.

He just wanted to understand.

Suddenly the detective shifted and Light dropped him in surprise, his fingers letting go of the cotton fabric allowing him to sit up; black eyes blazing as they sparkled back to life like coal upon a lit fire. It was like someone had jiggled the mouse of a computer, reawakening the sleeping monitor back to its start screen.

Though L's start screen seemed a bit less welcoming.

"The reason I'm giving you is real Light-kun." he hissed icily, all bitterness gone from his voice. "You fail to understand that regardless of what I've said about you helping me in the investigation, you helping me does not overrule your current position which you sometimes fail to acknowledge."

"And what position is that?" Light snapped, regretting ever letting go of the deranged insomniac as he crawled closer to him.

The detective curled his fingers around the length of chain closest to Light's wrist and yanked it toward him so the teens hand was forced to dangle in front of his eyes like a fish caught on a hook. "Your position as a _suspect_." he reminded him emotionlessly, each word spoken with equal extractions of venom. "As far as I-the infamous detective L-am concerned, I don't have to tell you anything."

A fresh wave of anger boiled up inside of Light but he forced himself to swallowed it as the detective turned his gaze away from him, the darkness in his eyes evaporating into the dimly lit room as he put a shaking hand to the side of his face where the teen had struck him; the once ghostly white skin red with puffiness. He had left his mark upon him, hot and red as the blood which boiled with the hatred he possessed for the black eyed beauty. He figured he should feel sorry for him and the sad thing was- he did. But he would never speak it… no. That would mean losing.

Apologies were not allowed in this game; maybe for Ryuuzaki, but Light- never.

The conversation had officially ended and Light crawled back over to his side of the bed, keeping his gaze locked on the covers. He could hear the detective shuffling around behind him, his toes snapping as he stretched out his legs shooting through the still air like gunshots. The brunette winced in disgust at this little stunt and reached out his unchained hand to the light-switch, clicking it off with the soft pad of his thumb. He could grope around in the dark for all he cared, he was going to bed regardless of what Ryuuzaki was going to do with himself- sleeping or not.

Light waited for him to object as he curled up amongst the covers, waiting for a tug from the other end of the chain, a tap on the shoulder, perhaps even a kick to the face. But Ryuuzaki remained dormant, buried beneath his castle of blankets like he had four nights ago, completely hidden from view.

He… he had actually won?

Light would have smiled in triumph if it wasn't for the occasion spark admitting from the wall across the room where the laptop lay smashed, reminding him of the measures he had taken, the things he had done to win over the detective. Hitting people and trashing their things wasn't exactly his style of winning…

Augh. Every time…

No matter how hard he tried, he could never win against the detective. Then when the time came, he was left feeling guilty and unsatisfied, a mix of emotions he didn't feel like taking with him into his dream land.

'_He's beside me…'_

Light squinted his eyes into the darkness, trying to catch a glimpse of Ryuuzaki amongst his castle walls, not even a strand of hair visible. His heart sank in disapointment and he cursed himself as he remembered the last time he had seen the detective sleep.

He had looked…. human…

The guilt doubled in power, weighing down his chest from the inside as his hand flickered beneath the covers, his fingers searching. He didn't know exactly what he was searching for- perhaps hoping to find some trace of the detective amongst the covers, though he highly doubt that the raven haired man would be anywhere near him after the teen had smacked him so violently during his rush of spitting anger.

God, had he sunk a hole for himself… a deep hole.

He withdrew his hand and the chain jingled loudly in the silence, causing him to freeze. The silence was unbearable... but the feelings were worse.

_Where the fuck had they come from!?_

Light was positive he hated, perhaps even loathed this creature curled up beside him; he had gone so far as to toss his laptop across the room like a Frisbee. This was not a sign of love, or affection, this was dislike rearing its ugly head in the form of frusteration using Light as its strongest vessel. They were incompatibal, even as friends.

So then why…. why the constant blushing when those black rimmed eyes were turned away from him?

He didn't understand- and it was killing him. **Slowly**…

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'_Turn out the light  
And lay here and wait with half-closed eyes  
You would scare most with your presence  
It's your complexion if that's what it's called  
Opaque and white'_

_- Banshee Song, **Gob**_

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The night stumbled on at an extremely slow rate and Light battled with his unconscious as he struggled to sleep. He was determined to enjoy this one night, the night he had won fair and square after a brutal battle of wit and…

_..chucking laptops at the wall._

Augh.

_Dumbass._

With a growl of annoyance, the teen peaked his chocolate eyes open to stare at the wall, noting the lightness in the room which had changed since he last checked. There were no clocks present except for Ryuuzaki's cell phone which was probably buried in his pocket. He debated over reaching over and scavenging for it, but the chances of the detective actually being asleep were slim.

On queue, the covers beside him trembled and he darted his gaze over to the lump of covers, watching as it stirred against the darkness like some shapeless creature. He froze, hoping the detective wouldn't peal away the cotton layers to look around - the last thing he wanted was a battle of Q and A in the middle of the night.

Nothing happened however. The silence continued on, undisturbed allowing the teen to shift himself, propping himself up on his elbow. His hair hung messily in his eyes, mangled and unkept yet not nearly as out of control as the detectives was. He wondered why someone with so much power and respect would choose to walk around like some unkept slob, even in the prescence of people. He admitted Ryuuzaki was really never in any position to make an impression on people- he was who he was, and he didn't need to dress in a suit and polished shoes to prove it. Just because his personal appearance resembled that of a jobless, energy drinking, computer nerd did not stop him from being L, the world's greatest detective.

But still…

Light really didn't understand him.

Actually, Light wasn't understanding a lot of things lately. It didn't help that most of them could be pin-pointed at Ryuuzaki, the one person he could do nothing about. His hatred for him was powered by his lack of knowledge for the situations orbiting him that the detective chose to keep him in the dark about. He just wanted to know what was going on with the other case but not as badly as he wanted to understand Ryuuzaki as a person. Both of them were connected somehow, he knew it. But maybe he didn't know…

Maybe he was desperate.

Maybe that was why he had such twisted dreams of Ryuuzaki writhing beneath him, blood trickling across his snow white skin as he kissed his swollen lips. It was his desperation to understand, his rage building up to such a dangerous point that it's only way of filtering itself was through these series of images which replayed themselves every time he shut his eyes. In these dreams, Ryuuzaki was under his control, affected by his actions, and completely powerless to whatever he wanted to do or say. Needless to say, the complete opposite of the position he was in now.

In his dreams, _he_ was the one in charge.

The covers began to move again and Light lowered his head back against the pillow with a sigh. He would never be able to sleep now; not after what the detective had said about watching him. Ryuuzaki didn't need to know what he muttered amidst his night fantasies.

'_Though you're in them, as odd as it sounds Ryuuzaki…'_

He went to turn over when suddenly a low whine cut through the still silence causing the teen to sit up. His eyes darted to the opposite end of the bed and the noise came yet again, the covers shifting as the detectives body curled and writhed against the mattress, the blankets pulling away to reveal his face. His black hair clung to his cheeks, blending in with the dark rings imbedded beneath his eyes which were squeezed tightly shut as if trying to block something out, his teeth clamped together.

Light's heart skipped a beat.

_The dream…_

"Ryuuzaki," Light reached his hand out and shook his shoulder gently, only causing the detective to cringe, a strangled sob escaping past his lips scaring the teens hand away.

His hands rose up from beneath the covers, gripping at his hair and curling into himself muttering words Light couldn't understand; his body shook past the point of control, his shoulders twitching so hard that for a fleeting moment the teen thought he might be having a heart attack. The thought itself was nerve wracking - how would he ever explain everything to his father?

He shut his mind off momentarily, hell bent on prying Ryuuzaki out of his nightmare. He gripped both his shoulder, shifting himself so he could get a better hold of him and shook until the detectives eyes fluttered open, sweat trickling across his brow.

"Ryuuzaki, wake up!" he snapped, head spinning from moving so quickly. The detectives eyes met his briefly, wide and frightened, the mask he wore during the day completely gone exposing his true self amidst the darkness of the room. Light stared at him in awe for the brief ten seconds he had before a muscle bruising kick was launched directly into his gut, knocking the breath straight out of him.

Light keeled over to the side coughing, freeing the detective from his iron grip. Covers flew about in panic as he managed to free himself from them, getting as far as the edge of the bed when the brunette tackled him, digging his nails into his arms as he fought against the bruising pain in his stomach, rolling off the side of the bed onto the carpeted floor with the detective pinned firmly beneath him. No words were spoken, only the harsh sound of breathing as both men tried frantically to catch their breath, pain gripping at their bodies from the harsh landing.

"Calm down…" Light whispered, as the detective gave another strangled crying, fighting against the teens hold. He had managed to pin him by his wrists to the floor, not wanting any black eyes or bruises to add to his finally fading collection. He could feel the raven haired mans hot breath against his face, his black eyes turned away from him, heavy with sleep and confusion.

_Dream…_

_That damn dream… _

Light wasn't sure what drove him to do it. All of the gods properly positioned within the stars probably couldn't have given him an explanation, regardless of the simplicity of the action. Perhaps it was because it was so similar to one of his fantasies, the detective pinned beneath him, struggling like a fly caught within a spiders web. Perhaps the situation was just so inexplicably awkward that he was left with no other choice.

Either way, it happened.

Light, taking advantage of the safety supplied by the darkness, leaned in closer to the panting detective and planted a kiss on his parted mouth. Ryuuzaki's body froze beneath him in what the teen figured was shock, making no signs of returning the action, perhaps too dazed to care. His body still pulsed with sleep, warm and fragile beneath Light's, though he was slightly surprised when the shock seemed to melt from Ryuuzaki skin and his pale lips began to hesitantly return the action.

No… no he was imagining it.

L didn't 'kiss.' He didn't even 'flirt,' if that was ever possible. He lacked all aspects of emotional attatchment.

Then why…

Exhausted and sick of his constant frusteration, Light ignored the onslaught of questions screaming to be answered and simply surrendered to everything he couldn't and would never understand, feeling the blood boil to the surface of his cheeks as he sank into the kiss, taking his chances in the dangerous game he had started.

It was just another fantasy, it couldn't hurt.

If only he had known how wrong he was.

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It was a rotten place, littered with the after stock of filth and dust, the paint peeling from the walls dancing to the stained ground like confetti. Windows were lined with jagged edges of broken glass, empty trash cans overturned, sparkling in the hazy light of the sun which fought to brush it's heated fingers across the tainted streets of America only to be pushed away by human caused gases and stink many people were to selfish to take control of. Many had tried and were still hopelessly trying, only to make as little difference as they had years ago. America was a mess- a wasteland, soon to be destroyed by it's said to be brilliant creators.

Yet he chose to reside here.

The smell of melted debri had begun to fade now, the eye watering aroma escaping into the sky only to be replaced by a more fitting scent - one which better suited the atmosphere.

In _his_ opinion, anyway.

It was an enjoyable scent; one which invaded the nostrils, wrapping around the mind causing the senses to pucker as it signals to the body to get away, prevent it from invading. It depended on the person of course, but he… well…

… well he found it rather enjoyable, actually.

It had been awhile; nearly three weeks, if he remembered correctly. He had behaved himself and minded his manners, waiting for his message to be returned. It had been hard, after being free for so long. But in order for things to be carried out correctly, he needed to substan his urges- wait until he knew for sure.

The wait hadn't been long, in general.

But to him… it had been an eternity.

And he could only blame one person for his discomfort.

"I sent you on a _mission_," he explained, bringing his finger up to his mouth as he lay on his back, tasting the sweet substance coating his nail. It covered him from head to toe, his once white cotton shirt heavy and wet against his skin, dripping across his ghost white skin in between the indents of his portuding ribs. It coated his hair, his cheeks, his lips, his whole body glowed with the coppery red substance drizzled across him like a gutted corpse. "I gave you specific orders to obide by Andrews."

The only replied he received was a low moan, the body of the once handsome man sprawled out above him on the remains of a glass table, various knife-like shards sticking out from the once smooth, flawless skin allowing the fresh blood to pour from him like wine, dripping onto his capture stationed below. It was like a Science exihbit; a replica of an accident gone horribly wrong. He was set up in such a fashion that one could simply lie beneath the table and gaze upon the inflicted carnage while enjoying a delightful shower of red rain, a special viewing of life before it left the unwilling.

God, how he loved it.

The glass table had just been an idea of his, a simple last minute addition to the build up of his rage. He had originally planned to remove him of his eyes, each aqua pupil easily removable when enough pressure was applied or a simple cut around the edges with a swift _pop_- as easy as one, two, three. Unfourtnately though, the glass had taken care of that, splattering the blue pigment across the blood smeared shards becoming lost in the gore and discharge. He was still alive of course, but he had planned it that way, regardless of the outcome of the task he had sent the naïve' man on he was planning on taking his eyes whether or not things went smoothly

Anyone who gazed upon his shadow deserved to have their eyes ripped out, as far as he was concerned.

But this wasn't what bothered him.

"I told you to mind yourself." he sighed, gripping onto one of Andrews shaking hands and looking it over as it dangled before his face; they were the only part of his body unscarred and free of cuts. "I told you specifically _**not to touch him!**_"

A strangled sob drifted from above him and he only smiled, gripping Andrews index finger in between his blood stained hands and pulling out his pocket knife from the interior of his jean pocket; he hadn't used it in some time, preferring the use of his hands - his greatest weapon of all - over everything else.

"You were in no position to go against my orders, you know that. You were just some worthless drug dealer when I found you, nothing but a pretty face with a fickle past." he hissed, his tone laced with venom while the good natured smile remained stamped across his face. Slowly he pressed the blade against the base of the mans fingers, watching as it sunk through the thick stump of flesh until he felt it hit the base of the bone- blood flooding from the torn skin and leaking down the length of his mutilators arm. "You touched him, therefore you must suffer."

Narrowing his red eyes, he applied pressure to the blood drenched blade ignoring the wails of protest from above him watching as it sunk through the bone with the simplicity of an apple slicer, saparating the digit from it's owner in one swift motion.

"**You do not touch what is not yours! "**

Blood gushed from the wound, the access puddling across the floor where it managed to miss hitting the horrific man in all his demonic glory. He watched in silence as the lifespan of the man began to dwindle faster, empowered by the fact he had control over whether this pathetic excuse for a human being deserved to live or die. It was a thrill to him, a drug as powerful as the substance staining his pathetic excuse for an out shelle. The skin he resided in which was everything he was and yet at the same time, _wasn't._

"_You really do look just like him."_

Yes, those had been the first few words out of Andrews mouth upon his arrival back from Tokyo.

His first mistake.

He titled his head to the side, eyeing Andrews phone which he had spared before creating a mess of things. He had said L had given him his number in order to contact him on the 'case.' But he knew that wasn't the reason - L was already aware of his intentions.

_His._

**Him.**

Beyond Birthday.

He lowered the knife for a second upon the blood soaked ground and groped his hand to the side, curling his fingers around the black cell flipping it open with a swift flick of his fingers. Andrews still had forty-five minutes left so he figured he would use his remaining time to his advantage.

"Every time he fails to answer, you lose one." he smiled, using his shoulder to hold the phone up to his ear as he laid back down in his usual position, placing the blade up against his thumb, positioned and ready. He listened as the dial tones sang through the ear piece, watching Andrews mutilated hand twitch in his grasp like a mouse caught in a vipers poisonous grasp - only B was more deadly.

Beyond smiled at this and he directed his demonic eyes at the dieing corpse of the man he had conned into working for him, his face a mirror image of the very person he loathed and loved with every blood splattered orvice of his deranged being.

"Do I look like him now Andrews?" he asked, a spark of hope in his voice, licking a trail of warm blood off the corner of his lip. "Do I look like the Angel of Justice to you?"

He never received an answer.

_Ring… Ring…_

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**Arrow: **Yay, it's done! You have no idea how hard it was to put this chapter together, I'm so happy I finally finished it. And you know what else? I'm satisfied. Which is rare for me!

Ah, Beyond… how I love him.

And thus the quirky relationship between Light and L begins!

Anyway, Winter Break is coming up and I'm stuck here in my home so I can definitely promise you an update or two, savvey?

Remember, read and review!


	4. D

**Arrow:** I apologize for updating so late, especially after I promised all of you two updates two weeks ago. The reason behind this is that the remarkable 'Death Note: Another Note' came out one week early and I wanted to read it as soon as possible and it took longer then I thought do to school and role-playing.

But needles too say, I've finished the book and have a lot of primping to do with the plot but thankfully it can be fixed since it's still early in the story.

Much thanks for the reviews and compliments!

NOW READ!

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/**D**/

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Dawn had risen in it's usual manner, forcing it's way through the scarce collection of openings within the crowded Tokyo city, focusing it's gaze on the man made towers built to overlook the land. It was a competition of sorts, so it seemed; the tallest tower posing as a display of dominance and power over the cramped city so whoever chose to gaze up at the endless sky was instead met with a vertical shining domain - a reminder of the harsh reality man kind was subjected too.

But L's tower was different.

L had ordered his tower to be built of mirrors; or more efficiently, windows for that matter. It towered above the rest of Tokyo's sky scrapers in a breath catching display of beauty, the faintest light from the sky, whether it be sun or moon, causing the shelter to glimmer amongst the tainted horizon; so that whoever chose to gaze upon it was met with a perfectly mirrored version of there own reflection.

So that those who had done wrong, those such as Kira, could lock eyes with his fortress in hopes of finding L's cryptic name only to find themselves faced with their own wicked shell which they had believed to be that of a 'gods.'

L's tower… revealed the truth.

Yet inside, not a single mirror was too be found.

Not one.

So when L awoke that morning, he couldn't help but wonder what he looked like; wrapped within the embrace of his enemy, curled up upon the carpet floor with the first rays of morning light licking at his feet. He could feel the vibrant warmth brush across his exposed skin; though the warmth radiating from the teen was far more comforting, as much as he hated to admit it. His body was at rest here - not a single limb shaking in response to the close contact.

Though he couldn't help but wonder…

If he had by chance had access to a mirror, regardless of its size, what would he see?

Light or Kira?

_He was never wrong…_

L or…

_I don't 'ever' want to see his face again._

He rested his head against Light's chest, carefully shutting his eyes before the sun managed to reach his irises, sending him crashing back into full consciousness. He wanted to enjoy this little quirk which had managed to slide itself into his heavily protected reality while the presence of it still lingered.

When Light awoke, there would be hell to pay.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

'_If you want to play it like a game  
Well, come on, come on, let's play  
Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending  
Than have to forget you for one whole minute'_

_- crushcrushcrush; **Paramore**_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Pain.

That was the first thing Light Yagami felt that morning.

It wasn't particularly unbearable, as one might say; it was that special type of pain which poked and prodded at your nerves until you could no longer ignore it's presence, forcing you to search for some available form of relief - aspirin, water, Motrin. Anything that could make it go away.

Unfortunately for Light, this somewhat bearable form of pain was everywhere.

"Nnn…"

He turned over, groping for the covers as the sun penetrated his eyelids causing an orange haze to hover above his pupils before he even managed to pry his eyes open. The plushy surface of the mattress was absent beneath his stiff arms, his limbs cracking as they shifted trying to grasp hold of an available blanket within the circumference of the area. Despite the blazing sun, it was cold and Light couldn't help but feel somewhat out of place.

….

…wait.

His eyes flew open, the rays of light blinding him instantaneously, squinting against them as he struggled to make sense of his surroundings. The bed loomed over him from behind, his foot planted against the metal base holding the mattress in place; covers and pillows littering the heavenly surface.

So then why…

The chain jingled as he shifted his arm and he focused his eyes on the still figure beside him, a mass of feathery black hair inches from where he lay. Ryuuzaki - still and sweet upon the carpeted floor - lay curled up on his side, his shallow breath causing his black locks to flutter.

Light froze instantly.

He didn't know how long he sat there; seconds, minutes, _years_ perhaps, waiting as his mind delicately pasted each shred of memory together until the events from the following night became clear. His eyes locked onto the detective, paralyzed with fear as the weight of what he had done settled inside of him like a rock.

He had kissed the arrogant bastard.

Willfully.

Frustrated, the teen slowly stood up listening as the sound of his cracking bones shot through the air; it felt good to move, to stretch… but he didn't dare move his arms in fear of awakening the black eyed beast. With luck, he may have forgotten or perhaps even been oblivious to the whole innocent. He was dreaming during the time, so…

'_But this… it's Ryuuzaki, not some sappy eyed girl.' _he reminded himself, automatically thinking of Misa. He knew the detective had been awake, for he had… had…

…_he had kissed back._

Light's hand flew to his lips and the chain jingled merrily, cutting through the silence with the ferocity of a steel pipe. He tip toed away from the detective as far as the chain would allow, peaking out the bedroom door into the empty living space feeling the cold, stale air hit him knocking the remaining sleep from his eyes. Not a soul was in site, though he hadn't expected anybody to be lurking about; Misa was locked safely in her room and Watari didn't come unless he was called. Besides that, the place was deserted on the weekend leaving Light and Ryuuzaki to entertain themselves.

_Great…_

He didn't understand why he was so afraid; he had dreamt about it countless times, though the scene had not played out exactly how he had planned. The kiss had not been part of his original plans when he had chose to pry the detective from his nightmare in hopes of helping him sleep better. It was the least he could do after breaking his laptop; his actions had come from his heart, a chance to be a 'friend' for once.

'_Friends don't 'kiss' each other Light-kun.'_

He cringed at the efficiency of the words and shut the door half way before turning back into the room. He didn't make it that far however, when he was greeted with a pair of coal black eyes burning into him from the edge of the bed - the detective perched in his usual fashion upon the distorted comforter, his thumb pinched between his teeth.

"Why hello there Light-kun."

Light fell back with a cry, his back slamming into the door causing it to swing open, his head connecting with the floor. The pain was temporary and the detective remained in his spot watching Light as a parent would their child, his gaze scolding him from a distance. The brunette remained pinned beneath the black orbs which had hours ago been blind and useless against the straining darkness; the darkness Light had _saved_ the poor fool from.

"Ryuuzaki…" he hissed, annoyed with the aftermath of his reaction to seeing him sitting there. "I thought you were-"

"I've been awake for three hours Light-kun." he tilted his head to the side, ebony hair draping across his face emitting little shine from the sunlit window as it streamed across him in angelic ribbons. His face was deadpan, it's usual paper white mask he flaunted around so boldly. But either the mask had been torn during the nights activities or was simply unable to contain the boiling look of disgust he harbored, slipping out the longer he stared at Light as if he believed he was contaminated with far more then just a murderous killer beneath his pretty face.

Light felt himself shriveling. "Then why didn't you get up instead of waiting for me!?" he snapped, eyes narrowing.

"I wasn't waiting for you, I simply didn't feel like getting up," Ryuuzaki corrected harshly, his fingers gripping the chain around his wrist. "That's what you wanted wasn't it, you wanted me to sleep?" he cast his gaze toward the laptop still smashed against the opposite wall and Light turned his eyes to the floor, wondering exactly how Watari was going to take the news; he figured if anything, the computer had been bought with his money since Ryuuzaki never went out. He would have his father pay for it…

"Yeah, but…" he struggled to find a way to keep the conversation going, dreading silence between the two of them. Unfortunately, nothing came to his mind in time to save him, stopping mid sentence and staring the detective in the eye, afraid to look away. Looking away would mean giving in- losing.

Then it hit him.

"You could have just told me why you didn't want to sleep Ryuuzaki." he stated, smirking up at the ebony haired man with a challenge written across his features. "Nightmares are nothing to be ashamed about, I would have listened."

The air immediately grew tighter and Light went to push himself off the floor only to have Ryuuzaki beat him to it; tugging the chain so the teen wobbled atop the balls of his feet as he stood, sending him tumbling forward, gripping onto the edge of the bed before him. Light was getting sick of this- the way he controlled him with a swift tug of the metal lace like a dog. He had half the nerve to reach up and pull him off the bed, if only it wasn't for the expression coating his eyes, challenging him in return to his previous words.

"My nightmares are my business Light-kun." he hissed, eyes flashing as he formed each word with precise care. "I thank you for your concern but after last nights incident, you have clearly shown that your way of _listening _is different then mine, or anyone else's for that matter."

Color rushed to the teens face and he backed down, realizing he couldn't beat the truth. But Ryuuzaki was wrong, on some points. The kiss… the kiss had been a mistake; a split second decision which he had not thought through before pressing his lips against the detectives in an attempt to ease his pain.

But that was a lie… it _had _to be. The kiss had to have been out of spite, meant to benefit only himself in order to calm the raging dreams which invaded his mind every night- dreams he would trade for Ryuuzaki's nightmares without a second glance. He rather wake up screaming then have to deal with the growing lust which ate away at him while he was so horribly indisposed.

He blamed the detective for his suffering, entirely.

"That… that was an accident." Light tried to explain, pulling his attention away from his thoughts. "I'm surprised you even remember it."

"I remember it clearly Light-kun, don't even start to think just because I was half asleep that I didn't know what was going on." Ryuuzaki snapped; there was hesitance in his words however an Light wasted no time in noticing. It was as if he were saying what he was supposed to say, not what he wanted too. If he would have reacted to the kiss in any other way Light would have thought him delusional. "You really over stepped your boundaries this time."

"Then why didn't you do anything!?" he said quickly. "If you were in such a right mind, then why did you kiss back!?"

"I didn't…"

Light grabbed him by the front of the shirt, steel dormant on his knees. "Yes you did, I felt it!"

Ryuuzaki attempted to push him off; Basically, he didn't like the way this was headed, sensing another out break from the deranged teen if he continued to deny everything he said. But he had his pride to think of. "You were imagining things Light-kun."

Oh, like hell he was.

Using all his strength, Light managed to haul the detective from his perched position and send him tumbling to the floor where he landed with a hard thud, the chain jingling through the air like belles as he pinned him by his wrist as he had the previous night; even now he seemed fragile, from the tips of his pale toes to the wild mass of ebony hair which he hid his gaze behind every so often. The only thing strong about him was his eyes; black and empty but fueled with determination and power which no one could own up too, not even Light himself with all his immature teenage habits.

"Why do you have to be so fucking proud!?" Light hissed, eyes blazing as he gazed down at his frozen eyes. "I kissed you and you act like you were just the victim in the situation, I was trying to help you and I thought I had because as much as you hate to admit it, _you kissed back. _Not to mention you slept in my arms the rest of the night," he recalled, remembering the warm feeling he had felt in his chest when he had woken up to his sleeping ( or fake sleeping ) form curled up beside him. "If you would have been so disgusted with me, I highly doubt you would have stayed in that position Ryuuzaki."

"I wasn't thinking clearly-"

"Because you had a few fucking nightmares, come off it!"

"_Light."_

Spider like hands gripped at his chest, pulling him closer more as a threat then a sense of comfort. The mask upon Ryuuzaki's face was consorted, frustration stamping his pale features, his eyes unable to handle all the emotion on their own. The twisted web he was weaving with the teen was beginning to tangle and stretch to the point of breaking.

Something had to give.

"Those nightmares… my nightmares, are none of your business." he explained, keeping his voice controlled to keep the teen from screaming at him. "I admit that I kissed back, but if it's a reason you want I don't have one for you." he cocked his head to the side questionably. "I'm only _human_, remember?"

"Ryuuzaki…"

"Though I do wonder…" he muttered, more to himself then Light. "If your reason for kissing me was more then just an act of comfort, Light-kun. Care to explain?"

Sure he would; if that reason were less selfish and more clear then his current one. There was no way he was going to tell him it was because he too had been having odd dreams, mostly concerning Ryuuzaki squirming beneath him with an expression that could send waves of men begging to their knees. But he knew deep in his heart this couldn't be defined as a reason either…

"I really… don't know." he muttered, turning his eyes away, defeated. What else could he say?

Light relaxed his hold on the detectives wrist allowing him to sit up, hair messier then before. His black eyes noted the distress in the teens features in a heart beat wondering exactly what was going on inside his troubled mind that was causing him to commit such questionable actions. He was sick of being pinned, for one thing…

"Light…"

"Hm..?"

His thumb clamped itself between his teeth, biting down onto the jagged nail without hesitation; this was dangerous… he's was just setting himself up, sailing into territory he had strayed from for the past four years. "If under different circumstances...would you kiss me again?"

…….

The question wasn't hard to answer.

"Yes."

_Ring…Ring…_

The phone rang from the bedside table immediately after, leaving Light feeling as if he had plummeted off the edge of a cliff, stopping just before his head had smashed into the nearing concrete. He took the few seconds of distraction to try and regain control of his fleeting mind, straighten out his thoughts, and figure out how to take control of the situation but he was as good as dead. He had spoken the truth.

That simple 'yes' had been enough of an explanation.

Ryuuzaki casually strolled over to the bedside table, plucking the phone from the surface with his fingers in his usual fashion, hold it as if it were some disgusted creature. His eyes narrowed as they processed the caller I.D, throwing Light for a loop- nobody ever called L except Watari.

Silently, he flipped open the phone and held it up to his ear. "Hello?"

The teen stood up and watched him, placing his hands inside his pockets, curious as to who the caller was. The talking went on for several minutes (in Japanese thankfully) and it wasn't long before the detective snapped the phone shut throwing it onto the bare comforter with a sigh.

"Who… who was it?"

Ryuuzaki glanced up at him with a frown. "Misa."

He blinked. "Oh…"

"She wants to go on a date with you. I told her within the next hour we would be ready."

_You…_

He didn't want to deal with Misa- not when he was so…lost.

"We can talk about this later Light-kun."

Light glanced up at him, eyes wide. Talk…? There was nothing to talk about… at least nothing he could see. He had practically full out admitted that he had feelings for him, though he was too afraid to call these urges 'feelings.' It was humiliating.

But Ryuuzaki wasn't finished with him.

"I do wish to thank you Light." he continued, dropping the honorary suddenly. "I've never slept that well in… well, along time. It really did help."

He blinked at him, blood rising to his cheeks becoming more then just noticeable.

He was only making it _worse_, saying such things…

"T-thank you."

Deep down, he felt that things were about to get complicated- _a lot _more complicated. In fact, he had never been more sure of anything in his life, sick of being the first and only passenger on this roller coaster of emotions he had hopped onto without thinking of the consequences.

But what he did not know, was that Ryuuzaki was a passenger himself- seated way in the back where nobody could reach, tucked safely in the last cart so he could watch the fate of those before him; or that the one who would set the ride back on to it's proper course was none other then the very person who loved him without any complicated or mixed up feelings holding her down;

Misa Amane.

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_Always, no sometimes, think it's me, __but you know I know when it's a dream.__  
I think I know I mean a 'yes' but it's all wrong, __that is I think I disagree._

-Strawberry Fields/ **The Beatles**

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L hated the circus.

More accurately, L hated anything which required a mass amount of public in order to function; concerts, baseball games, movies, and airplanes were some of the top items on his 'things-to-avoid' list. One might think such places were a necessity and overall, unavoidable to a detective of his ranking. But L didn't work like that- he simple sent people in his place, working through them with the help of electronics.

Cowardly? Perhaps… but it had kept him at the top of his game up until now, no one could disagree with that. He preferred seclusion, the safety of his char paired with the power supplied by his phone and laptop- his two greatest necessities other then his mind.

It wasn't until the Kira Case that he had found himself so heavily exposed to human life.

But the situation at hand was a bit… different.

They had not ventured out of headquarters for Misa and Light's date, despite the blondes whiny protests. They simply took their usual spot amidst the models guest room, cake placed out in front of them, and the three paired off on different couches.

Light next to Misa, L with his cake.

The circus comment had not been a fluke; Ryuuzaki despised them and had never been to one in his life. He had gained knowledge of the experience in books and movies and seemed overall disgusted with the picture they had formed in his mind. People humiliating themselves for the sake of others seemed degrading and overall a waste of time and a waste of a profession.

But he couldn't help but feel, as he stared at Misa with her arms wrapped around Light with the tightness of a boa constrictor, as if he had stumbled in upon one of these so called 'circuses.' Light was degrading himself for the sake of keeping his role in check; the caring boyfriend paired off with the bubbly blonde girl many boys his age would fall to their knees for in order to please. Light danced with her, coated in his make-up and striped trousers, frowning beneath his painted on smile as he danced with the pretty little ballerina; twirling her around in time to the crackling music echoing throughout the vicinity of the tent.

And Kira was the ring leader- the master behind this little show, watching from the shadows with delight as his pawns moved about the tent floor. Ryuuzaki remained a spectator- hidden by his false name and pride, watching as his friends flourished in their exotic dance. Light's steps had been choreographed by him in private, keeping Misa from straying from his side regardless of how much he loathed the fact of manipulating her. One of them was Kira, one of the two- the original mass murder…

The ring leader; Ryuuzaki was _sure_ of it.

For this reason only, he chose to stay and watch the show from beginning to end.

"Light, please try and convince Ryuuzaki to let us go out on a real date, he listens to you more then me!" Misa whined, blue eyes shining as she stared up at the teen as if the angels had accidentally dropped a halo upon his head. "It's boring staying in this stuffy room."

"I told you already, we can't go out because of the investigation." Light explained silently, voice strained; he had been carefully avoiding the detectives gaze all afternoon and was slowly running out of things to stare at as he neared the last few bites of his cake. It was incredibly awkward and Misa wasn't making the atmosphere any more bearable.

Ryuuzaki took note of this, sparing the teen a blunt response. He had been unusual quiet throughout the afternoon as the fight he had had with Light earlier lingered in his mind, battling between emotions and logic. The kiss they had shared was more then just an accident, he knew that much. But it was Light's motive which he was unsure about.

Would Kira sink so low as to pull such an act in hopes of seducing him? It was probable, though unlikely… seduction was an element he would very much like to keep out of their complicated game of cat-and-mouse.

Other then Kira though, this was Light Yagami who had kissed him in the dead of night and lay with him clutched in his arms until dawn. Light Yagami, the pretty boy every high school girl and four star college kept at the top of there 'to-do' list.

Attraction- whether sexual or passionate- seemed impossible.

It had to be hormones…

But that's when Misa Amane came in.

And that's when Ryuuzaki began to have his doubts.

Though naïve' and stupid, Misa made up in looks and spite; something a boy of Light's nature would appear to have no problem with. The high class model with the handsome male student- the perfect couple.

All lies.

Ryuuzaki had shut his mouth during the course of their date but only to allow himself to concentrate on the way Light behaved around his air-headed other half. Each time she touched him with her painted nails, he shifted closer toward the edge of the couch wearing his signature frown. His arms remained folded across his chest, never making a single move toward her though he had plenty of opportunites. He never grabbed her hand, played with her hair, or kissed her cheek. All of this was brought up by Misa and she carried on as though Light were as animated and bubbly as her despite his statue like posture.

To sum it up: Light wasn't interested.

At _all_.

As the date neared the end of the four hour time limit, Light took the risk of placing his empty plate upon the surface of the table only to have the blonde tackle him, sending the plate rolling across the carpeted floor. His face consorted in surpressed disgust but she paid little attention to his expression before placing her lips against his, ravishing him with such intensity that she supplied enough passion for both of them leaving Light with the simple task of moving his lips against hers in a half-hearted attempt to appear involved.

Ryuuzaki found himself biting into his fork.

"Light, what's wrong with you today, your so flinchy!" Misa explaimed, pulling away with a pout. "Are you getting enough sleep?"

"Actually, he is." Ryuuzaki piped in, sparing Light the chore. "I make sure Light-kun receives a proper amount of sleep every night so he can dedicate himself fully to the case."

"And me," Misa added, sticking out her tongue in triumph. Ryuuzaki simply bit down into his fork, gazing at her beneath his ebony locks.

A loud knock came from the door.

Awww, times up.

"It's over already!?" Misa stared at the door as if it had sprouted fangs, knowing Watari was waiting behind it patiently. Thinking fast, she wrapped her arms around Light who had already stood up upon hearing the glorious knock allowing her to cuddle him one last time.

For the remainder of the week, at least…

"I suggest you leave Misa, Light and I have things to discuss." Ryuuzaki informed her as he herded her toward the door, toes curling as he walked.

"Wha? What kinds of thin-"

"It's private."

"Light!"

He pushed her out the door before she could make any more protests, sighing into the silence which began to hover back into the room like sunshine do to the lack of the blondes prescence. He turned to Light who had sunken back onto the couch, his face littered with distressed now that he no longer had to keep up the charade.

The dance had stopped for the moment.

"If it makes you feel any better Light-kun, this date was not monitored like the other ones were." he informed him, hopping into the empty seat beside the chestnut haired teen, hugging his knees to his chest. "I figured that Misa-san wouldn't offer anymore information. Though to be truthful, she really hasn't offered anything for that matter."

"Ah…" Light was at loss for words, unable to come up with a better response. "Yeah, you're right about that."

"Though I can't help but notice," the detective continued, biting his thumb thoughtfully. "How much efforts she puts into expressing her love for you. She does a pretty good job, don't you agree Light-kun?"

Light glanced at him. "Well, I wouldn't say that exactly, but she does get her point across." What was he getting at..? He had a bad feeling…

"Yes, she does." he nodded. "I never saw it before but after watching her cling to you like that, I can see why you love her so much. She is a very loyal partner."

The teen allowed his words to dangle in the air, narrowing his eyes at the false sincerity coating them like the sugar he consumed night and day. It was a trick, another game…

"Ryuuzaki, I already told you this relationship is one sided, she's the one who pushed herself on me. I'm only dating her because you said it would help with the investigation." he told the truth just to be safe, left with little alternative options. "Besides, she risked a lot for me and I don't want to dump her after everything she was put through."

The detective remained unphased, his black eyes turned up at the ceiling in thought. No one could be this pure… but he had said the love was one sided, so perhaps…

"Light-kun, I want you to do something."

The tone of his voice had changed and Light wasted no time in noticing, blinking his chocolate eyes in curiosity. "What?"

He didn't receive an answer right away; the detectives mask molding itself until a hint of what the teen could make out as 'hesitance' floated to the surface of his chalky face, throwing him off guard.

Ryuuzaki tilted his head to the side. "Kiss me like you kissed Misa-san."

Light's pupils shrank. "W-what!?"

He removed his thumb from his mouth with a soft pop. "Kiss me like you kissed Misa-san earlier- no more and no less."

Light continued to stare at him dumbfounded; He… he must have misheard him, this had to be a joke- a test of some sort. After all the argument that morning why had he decided to pull something like this!? One kiss had been enough to send him running for the hills in fear of his life. Besides, he had kissed him in the safety of the dark. He was more exposed now, serveilance camera's or not.

It was a test- it _had_ to be.

"Ryuuzaki, why the hell would you-"

"Don't try and think to much into it Light-kun," he interrupted, stopping him before he could protest. "I promise you this has nothing to do with the investigation. It's for my benefit only."

His benefit?

The reassurance didn't make him feel any more relaxed- in fact, it made him even more nervous as he thought about it, noting the awkwardness he carried with him every time Misa's lips brushed against his. If he had wanted any normal kiss, he would have just asked for one. But no- he had requested that he kiss him in the same manner as the blonde pop star which was more of a slight bumping of mouths then a kiss.

So he did exactly that.

Eyes closed, he leaned over and pressed his lips against Ryuuzaki's, a small hint of sugar making it's way past his lips as he moved them about, trying to picture the panda eyed detective as Misa and coming through with little success. Ryuuzaki smelled different, a mixture of chocolate and coffee overpowering his memory of the blondes perfume ridden stench making it harder for him to remain uninvolved. Blood rushed to his cheeks as his heart quickened faster then it had for days despite last nights little episode he found himself constantly thinking about. He had enjoyed it far too much… he was enjoying himself now…

_Dangerous…_

Ryuuzaki broke the kiss, pulling away with a small noise Light couldn't quite make out. Though he had not been as animated as Misa he had noticed some action on his part,his pale lips slightly pink though not nearly as pink as his face which had lit up in color of the last three minutes. The teen found himself entranced, reaching out and brushing the pads of his fingers across the heated skin causing the detective to flinch.

His hand grabbed his, pulling it away and holding it against his chest shakily as if he were clutching something valuable- more afraid of it's worth then it's frailty.

"Now kiss me… as if you were kissing Ryuuzaki." he whispered.

He didn't have to ask twice.

Though he could feel himself falling, the roller coster reaching it's final dip as it shook and trembled against the track, he suddenly found that he wasn't alone as another passenger climbed in to the cart beside him offering a warm hand which he took without a second glance before plummeting into the nothingess of the future. His lips met Ryuuzaki's without hesitation, dragging him down into the breathlessness and beauty of it all, pouring the feeling he had surpressed for so long into him wondering if he would break from the force of it all. He could feel the hesitate movement of his lips, barely giving him a chance as he pushed him against the couch feeling his spider-like hands tangle in his auburn locks. Morals be damned, they were past that now… they had broke the rules beyond repair.

Neither of them took notice as the detectives cell phone slid from the safety of his pocket and tumbled beneat the couch where it lay dormant until it steadily began to vibrate, the ring falling upon deaf ears. The only person who called L was Watari and Ryuuzaki was more then busy at the moment.

If only he had known…

… how important that call actually was.

_Ring… Ring…_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Arrow: Hahaha, yes. First off, BIG apology for lack of updates once again. Second off, I apologize beforehand for spelling mistakes, I'm going to beta this thing properly sometime tomorrow. For now, I have a festival to get ready for and need to head out and get this thing posted!

Oh, and don't be fooled by L's blushy cuteness- for all you guys know this could just be another test. XP

L doesn't blush unless he has a good reason.

Reviews are smiled upon, remember!

Expect an update some time next week, savvey?

::Chapter has been edited::


	5. E

**Arrow: **Alright, sorry for the delay, I've been on Spring Break in Florida and I've had a bit of a writers block if you can't tell from the length of this chapter. Basically my reason for updating is that I was suddenly inspired ( on the last day of vacation I might add ) and I seem to notice a sudden increase in Beyond fan fiction, many of which share a common theme. It doesn't anger me really but I am in constant fear of someone coming out with a story almost identical to mine and I check nearly everyday. I'm fighting really hard to keep this original and I hope you all help me with the process. I appreciate the support!

As a gift for my absence, there is a lot of B in this chapter. I really enjoy writing him!

NOW READ!

****

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/ E /

XXXXXXX

__

With an urgent, careful stare,

I see panic in those eyes

If I see you lying there,

Hoping this was the last time

If you hear a distant sound,

And see footsteps by your side

When the world comes crashing down

I will find you if you hide

****

- Lifeline, Angels and Airwaves

XXXXXXXX

Pretty.

Sirens sounded off in the distance, blasting their screaming dirge across the suffocated city, tickling the ears of passerby's as they decided in an instant that they wouldn't give concern to the misfortune of the cause of the obnoxiously loud noise. It was an every day occurrence; there was never a day in Los Angeles when the ear splitting wail wasn't heard from some lost corner of the city, becoming a routine for the ears of the public.

People died everyday- it was unavoidable.

Beyond knew this more then anyone.

It wasn't that he chose to specialize in death, it was that death chose to specialize in him. He had been given these cursed eyes for no apparent reason; a flaw amidst the natural human structure which he had to suffer for.

Beyond Birthday had to suffer for gods own mistake.

Or perhaps… he was a god himself.

'people die everyday,' he thought sullenly, as he stared down at the blood stained floor where minutes ago, police had tread upon as they gathered up the pieces of flesh hoping to put the pathetic human back together in hopes of giving it a name. Beyond found this amusing, the way humans tried to put things back together when clearly they were meant to be torn apart. Andrews had been chosen to die that day ever since he was born and God and Beyond were the only ones who had known.

Hell, perhaps god hadn't even known. For surely Andrews soul had passed on to a place far less attractive then the pearly gates of heaven. Andrews had been a con artist- a criminal with a bundle of inside connects and drugs which he had offered B upon there first meeting.

"One of a kind, half a dose will send every nerve into a frenzy. Anything more will lead to death or… well…" he laughed darkly, beady eyes turned up to the sky as if remembering something amusing. "Let's just say they won't put up a fight. They'll be begging for it."

"And you use this stuff for enjoyment?" B mused, holding the miniature bottle up above his head. "You're so desperate that you need to create false lust with the help of a drug?"

"Hey, whoa…whoa there," he held his hands out in front of, as if fending him off. "Try it yourself, one hit on me, you wont be disappointed with the results." he waved his hand toward the door, the distant rumbling of people reaching their ears from the streets below. "Pick a person, any person."

B stared at him blankly, nail clenched in between his teeth, unfazed by his salesmanship. "No, that's quite alright. There is only one person who can amuse me in such a way and I don't need any high powered drug to make him cooperate." he smirked, blood spilling against the corner of his mouth as he bit into the rough skin of his thumb, remembering vividly. "There are other ways Andrews."

The talk had done nothing to convince him of his errors though with Andrews out of the way, B now found himself in possession of a full case of useless drugs, staring down at them with blank eyes. A useless concoction created for sexual amusement.

Humans… disgusted him.

"I would never use this on you Lawli," he whispered to himself, the afternoon wind sending his ebony locks dancing before his crimson eyes. "You're not some low, pitiful human although you do amuse me with your childish beliefs." he laughed dryly into the fermented air, remembering the words he had spoken to him, even in his greatest moment of peril.

__

'I am justice; nothing you do or say can change that. Looks mean nothing Beyond."

Oh, but they had. He had broken his little reflection into tiny pieces, leaving some to rot amidst the collaboration of filth and dirt, never to be found. The very embodiment of justice had suffered at his hands just like every other good for nothing human, losing in the end.

L Lawliette had lost to him.

Therefore L Lawliette was his to keep- forever.

"I do miss you my love," he murmured, plucking a single bottle from the open case, turning it over in his hand. "I doubt you've forgotten about me. Andrews made sure of that." even though he viewed the drug as a type of 'cheat' he couldn't help but imagine the detective groveling at his feet, kissing each toe and working his way up as his body overpowered his heavily crafted mind, each year of Whammy House brainwashing melting away in an instant. He would be nothing but a toy for Beyond to play with, one which he would never grow sick of.

But Beyond Birthday didn't play like that.

You see, L had given in fully aware of the everlasting defeat it would cause him. He knew Beyond lusted for him, to become him, and giving him that satisfaction would go against everything he stood for.

The title of L would forever be in jeopardy.

And Beyond would never forget.

Ever.

"I think… a trip to Japan is in order," he muttered to himself, placing the bottle back within the battered case. He had called the detective twice and each time the phone remained unanswered, something which aggravated Beyond a little more then it should. It meant he was hiding from him… his reflection was denying his existence. "If your going to play this way Lawli, I might as well pay you a trip instead of sending useless people over to communicate for me." He grabbed the briefcase, shoving it under his arm as he headed toward the fire escape, bare feet crunching against the debris.

Boy, wouldn't L be surprised.

"Ready or not," he smirked, eyes glinting against the fading sun as the wind pulled against his cotton shirt. He couldn't wait to see him again- to drink in the horror in his eyes. "Here I come."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

__

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life,

nor angels nor principalities nor things present,

nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth,

nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us

from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord".

- **Breathe, Evanescence**

XXXXXXXXX

The kiss had been real.

__

Really.

Light had doubt it at first, pondering over the way things had played out leading up to his and Ryuuzaki's 'breaking of the ice' as he liked to call it. He had expected it to be a test, one which would raise him up higher upon the pedestal of innocent-teenage-suspect. His motives still remained hidden from him behind his tainted glass eyes but he had no doubt in his mind that the sugar coated detective had feelings for him.

But he did wonder….

The blush which had dusted the pale skin of his face that day remained hidden during the hours that followed. Ryuuzaki appeared overall, normal and blank faced as he had before throwing Light for a loop. He had expected him to open up more; to place his mask to the side and allow him to see his true colors regardless of the risk. But apparently this 'relationship' didn't work that way. Hell, the teen was lucky to even get a peck on the cheek in the evening and he couldn't understand his distance.

Had… had everything really been a test?

Yes and no.

Upon awakening the next morning, Light found Ryuuzaki tugging at his wrist, black eyes etched in frustration. It was nearly seven in the morning and Light was in no position to move for him but the handcuffs left him with no choice and he found the detective hauling him out of bed with cold hands.

"Light-kun, wake up."

"Why?" he yawned, grabbing onto his shoulders for balance, relieved when he didn't shrug him away.

"I left my phone in Misa's guest room."

Assuming he needed to make a call, he allowed the ebony haired man to lead him through the dark halls, sunlight brushing against the frigid tips of his toes as he made his way across the carpet, into the elevator, and up into the deserted room. The events from the day before still lingered in the air and Light couldn't help but feel butterflies brush against the sleeping walls of his stomach, casting a glance at Ryuuzaki to see if he felt the same. However, no signs of shyness or insecurity could be seen amidst his dark face and he made his way across the room as if this was just a daily routine for him.

"It may have slipped in between the couch." he muttered, peeking underneath the cushion before moving on to the next. When he came up empty handed, he sank onto all fours and creped across the floor in an exotic fashion, nose to the floor like a dog on the hunt. Light frowned at this, weirded out by his peculiar sleuthing habits. It was no longer a mystery as to why Ryuuzaki preferred to send people to investigate for him during cases- he would probably scare away half the clients.

"Is that really necessary?" he asked, unable to stop himself. The man didn't even acknowledge him, slipping underneath the table like a snake before resurfacing on the other side, fingers tapping against the glass. He continued on like this for a good ten minutes before rising from beneath the couch, cell phone pinched between his thumb and index finger as if he had plucked a mouse from it's hole. He flicked it open swiftly and Light took a seat on the couch, gazing down at him as he concentrated on the tiny screen, all expression gone from his face.

The teen yawned, brushing his chestnut hair from his eyes as he waited. He really wanted to get back to bed… "What is it, did someone call you?"

His words hovered in the air, waiting for a reply before sailing away into the abyss of the dawn lit room. The shadows began to grow longer across the carpeted floor, sending small square like patches across Ryuuzaki's face drawing Light's attention back to him. He appeared to be frozen, lips and eyes unmoving.

"Ryuuzaki?" Light reached down hesitantly, brushing his fingers across his face causing him to awaken. He snapped the cell phone shut and pocketed it without a word, but instead of getting up, he crawled onto the couch beside Light, curling up in his usual sitting position, his face hidden beneath his black locks. There was something different about him; as if his mind had shut off, his body guiding him toward the nearest place of comfort.

Taking a risk, Light reached his hand down toward his pocket but was blocked by Ryuuzaki's hand, fingers curled around his wrist tightly. The rest of his body remained dead and still, the sunlight shimmering against his crystal skin as Light's heart thumped in his chest, both scared and confused as to what exactly was happening to him to make him act such a way. He wanted to know…

He was sick of being blocked out.

The sunlight trickled across the detectives wrist as he moved it, catching Light's attention before he could conjure up enough courage to speak. He would have ignored this small detail if it wasn't for the awkward coloring of his skin, like a crayon upon a frosted sheet of paper, near his wrist and he wondered why he never noticed it before.

"What… what is this?" he muttered almost to himself, lowering his face so he could get a better look. The detective immediately let go of him, flinching away and raising his head ever so slightly so his glowing eyes could be seen beneath his veil of hair. There was something in them… something that scared him.

"It's a scar," he whispered, voice barely audible against the pounding silence. Light would have taken this as a proper explanation if it hadn't been for the silent tone of his voice. The brunette was a fantastic liar, as was L; he knew there was a story beneath those three simple words.

A story he had been struggling to pry out of him for weeks now.

Everything connected.

"Ryuuzaki…" Light gently slid his hand into his, slipping his fingers in between each skeletal protrusion, curling them inward. The detective seemed to stiffen at this; as if he had never been touched in such a gentle way. Almost as if holding hands was more painful then being kicked or punched to the face, setting his soul on fire. These gentle actions… they were dangerous.

__

He wouldn't allow them.

"Please…" Light stared at him pleadingly, chocolate eyes swimming with sunlight turning them a gentle bronze, the caramel as to which Ryuuzaki craved from time to time. Steadily his black eyes rose to his with caution, as if dreading the question he knew he was asking him. He had kissed the teen for reasons he couldn't explain, reasons he now had to hide from…

With the kiss Light had marked Ryuuzaki's grave and Ryuuzaki had foolishly accepted the spot without even glancing at its location.

But it didn't matter- he would find it. No matter where Ryuuzaki lay buried when death came to brush it's decaying hands across his eyes, Beyond swore that he would never kill him.

__

"I love you too much, death doesn't deserve such wicked beauty." he purred, crooked hands smearing fresh crimson across his tear stained cheek, spreading the substance like paint upon a canvas.

His eyes squinted shut but Light took his face into his hands, his angelic face holding his gaze steady. "Ryuuzaki, you have to tell me what's going on, I'm sick of this silent angst business!" he snapped, keeping his voice steady. He didn't like yelling at him but clearly being gentle wasn't getting him any answers. The kiss had been a sign of trust, his key into the situation in which the detective lay bound; him against the waiting evil which kept him awake at night, writhing and panting amidst his cloth built walls.

"Maybe if you told someone then you'd feel better, I'm sick of seeing you like this. We have a case to solve, innocent people are dying!"

As expected, the detectives body straightened up, black eyes burning into him. "I know that," he hissed, venom dripping from each word. "In fact, if there is anything I know concerning this case, it's that people are dying and I can't do anything about it. You know why Light-kun?" he squeezed his hand, digging his nails into the hot flesh until the teen felt blood trickle from the corner of his thumb. "Because I'm _human_. I'm not a god, I'm not immortal, I bleed just like every other person and I feel everything whether it's pain, pleasure, anger, love, I'm a victim too! " his voice cracked on the word victim and Light noticed a change in his expression, the pupils hidden amidst his ink spilt eyes darting toward his wrist.

"Then why do you treat me so badly?" Light argued, defending himself as he tried to drink in this confession which had just poured from the mans lips. "Sure, I'm a suspect but I'm just as human as you are. I proved that when I kissed you, damn it!" he yanked his hand away, blood smearing across the others, standing out against the blank flesh. "That actually meant something to me and now here you are, acting exactly like you did before any of that happened, treating me like a criminal. Would you kiss a criminal Ryuuzaki?" he spat before stopping and rethinking his words. "Oh, wait.. That right. You have! Or at least you seem to think so."

"I think so because I have too!" his voice was shrill, eyes absorbing him as he leaned in closer. "I can't help what I think Light-kun, nor what I… I feel."

Silence trailed after him as Light studied his face, boxing him in in an attempt to peel back the layers and grasp the strings which he had been pulling whenever the opportunity was presented to him. The sun had now lit up the entire room, washing away the shadows which had loomed over them moments before.

Ryuuzaki couldn't hide anymore.

His hands cupped his face before his could stop them, his lips following in their wake as he pressed them against the detectives before he could utter a word of defiance. Anger radiated from him like a beacon but Light kissed it away, wrapping his arms around his thin frame and pulling him close, allowing the sun to wrap around them in a shimmering curtain of gold. They needed to stop this senseless arguing; they needed to trust each other.

"Love me…" Light whispered against his skin, feeling him shake in his embrace. "Trust me, love me, anything… anything to get you to see me as a real person." He fixed him with his gaze despite the blinding sun, watching as his face wiped clean of any emotion, his masked place firmly between them.

If only he _could_. If only all of this could be easier and free of consequences. If only this game they had started could remain just a game, leaving Ryuuzaki free to do as he pleased without any feelings of guilt or fear. He had no idea what was going on- whether what he felt for Light was real or just withdrawal from human contact. He couldn't love anyone and he never had, especially someone he suspected. It was suicide.

But what did it matter? Ryuuzaki was damned anyway.

But Light was not the one meant to lead his soul to hell.

"I can't love you Light-kun, I belong to him." he whispered, black eyes darkening as he shifted his gaze away from him, ashamed. " If he ever found out… he would kill you."

The sunlight suddenly lost it's radiance, the room becoming hot and sticky as the heat began to build within it's closed walls as if hell itself had snuck in past the translucent glass, it's fingers squeezing around Light's throat. Millions of questions formed within the confinements of his brain but the teens lips remained locked together, frozen, unable to speak as horror pulsed through his veins, lacing each strand of evidence together. Nightmares, scars, secrets, phone calls…

__

He?

Ryuuzaki watched the fear overtake his face and for once he was happy that someone was there to feel for him, taking his hands into his and squeezing them softly, sealing their fate. He wouldn't tell him- not yet.

"That's a promise."

He would keep Beyond Birthday a secret for awhile longer.

Ryuuzaki would spare him the pain he lived with night and day.

Ryuuzaki would… protect him.

Just as justice should.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arrow: Next chapter coming soon, please review and be patient with me, I only give you guys the best of what I have to offer when I can, I heart you!

Also, please check the blog for updates on what I'm doing, the link is located in my Profile.

Note: Editing will take place later tonight, any mistakes in spelling or grammar in this chapter will be fixed!

READ AND REVIEW!


	6. F

Yes, I know. It's been awhile and I'll spare you the rambling and just tell you the truth: I'm busy and a full time procrastinator plus add homework and a play in to the mix and you've got a washed out writer with little spark for creativity. But somehow I managed to surgically remove this and present it to you for your enjoyment.

Warning kiddies, there is mature themes present but nothing too involved. But you like that stuff don't you oh wonderful readers?

This stories finally picking up steam!

NOW READ!

_XXXXXXXX_

_/F/_

_XXXXXX_

'_We are all guilty_

_not being all we should be_

_look at your own self and see'_

_- Guilty, Flyleaf_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_This was natural._

_It wasn't like he did this often, no. Light's dreams usually became lost to him before morning (aside from a few memorable ones he would rather forget.) His mind was always too busy processing other things, storing necessary information in every nook and cranny he could spare. It was how he had managed to ace his exams, review sheets tossed to the side like gum wrappers._

_Dreams were useless fictional stories- role-plays of a sort._

_So when he closed his eyes that night and reopened them to find himself face to face with a perfectly structured copy, he didn't panic or yell or scream. Hell, he didn't even bat an eyelash. He knew right away that this mirror image before him was fictional and fictional meant fake- no way was he in danger._

"_This is perfect," he heard himself whisper, watching as he paced around him. "Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined L growing so attached…"_

"_You mean my dreams," Light corrected, not liking the malicious tone in his voice. There was something about this copy…. Something that made him uneasy._

_He raised his eyes to him and the teen could see the amber pigment tainting the area around his pupils, the space where the whipped chocolate met black. An electric sting of fear swept over him, taking a careful step back only to find himself moving closer._

"_Nothing is sacred Light," the copy smirked, brushing a stray hand across his stiff shoulder, ice pricking the clothed skin. "Everything you dream, see, think, feel…. Everything is open to my eyes." frigid hands laced in his, holding him in place so as not to run away. But even if Light had taken a chance and booked for it he knew he wouldn't get far. I was his mind after all- a dream on the verge of a nightmare._

"_I know all about him Light."_

_The teens eyes widened, fear overflowing as his chin was tilted up to stare into the ruby stained gems._

"_I know all about your feelings- the hurt you feel when he refuses to include you. It's pathetic really, I thought you were smart enough to avoid falling for someone who would just as soon throw you in jail than lie in your arms."_

"_That's not true, he would have done it already then," Light snapped, tugging his face away. "There's just… things I going on with him right now that I don't understand…"_

'_I can't love you Light-kun- he'd kill you…'_

_Who the hell is he?_

"_Find out."_

_Light glared at the copy and the copy glared back, nails digging into his sweat drenched palms. The confrontation with this metamorphosis of himself sent sparks of disgust tripping through his veins with his directness and warped features which he prayed to the gods wasn't the way he appeared before others. The tint of his eyes and the malicious smile sketched across his ashen face was enough to cause even the blindest person to do a double take. The flutter of innocence Light possessed still remained, noticeable at first glance, but Light knew himself better than anyone and he knew that this thing, this monster, in front of him was not him. _

_The cold stricken hands managed to wrap themselves around the teens curved waist and he felt the pointed nails penetrate his back, drawing a hiss from between his lips. "Find out what he's hiding from you. Dig beneath the surface, knock down the walls he's hiding himself behind. Find out who this mysterious person is who causes him to tremble in your arms at night."_

"_Don't you think I've been trying?" he groaned, pushing against him frantically. "My life's at risk, there's only so much I can do."_

_Ice coated lips brushed against his ear. "Let me worry about your life Light Yagami," the nails retracted from his skin and Light let out a stressed sigh. "You just worry about your little freak of a lover and find out as much about him as you can."_

_The words stung, his face struggling to hide the flash of pain. "He's not my lover…"_

"_That can always be fixed."_

_Light snorted, pulling away from him. "How?"_

"_Just be yourself."_

_Ha- apparently he didn't know L like he did. But that was contradicting things._

"_Being myself hasn't exactly helped me… or our position." he muttered, narrowing his eyes. But immediately he reconsidered his words, shaking his head. "This is crazy, I'm having a conversation with myself. Nothing I say to you matters anyway, its just a dream!" god, why was he so stupid? "Leave me alone, I can take care of myself!"_

_As each word left his mouth the smile on the copy's lips widened a fraction of an inch, his amusement leeching off the teen's frustration. Light noticed this and he turned on him, anger blazing; he didn't like this manifestation in front of him, this wolf in sheep's clothing._

_No way was this demon him._

_The copy opened his mouth to speak but Light stopped him. "I want to wake up." _

_He laughed slowly, a sinister laugh similar to his own but intoxicated with a poison far more powerful. "As you wish Light-kun."_

"Light-kun…"

"Light-kun…"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

_Someone told me love will all save us._

_But how can that be, look what love gave us._

_A world full of killing, and blood-spilling_

_That world never came._

_- Hero, Nickelback_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

"Light!"

Consciousness descended upon him and Light let out a small groan, attempting to twist his body to the side but found himself incapable of movement; hesitantly he cracked open his sleep crusted eyes to the morning sun, but found his vision blocked by a pair of black orbs and a messy head of ebony hair.

"Light-kun, are you okay?"

"Nn… off…"

The orbs blinked. "Mm?"

"Get off of me!" He struggled to sit up but only succeeded in bringing his face closer to the detectives, hair matted against his sweat stricken face as he gladly accepted the situation presented before him, minor yet better then talking to himself in a dream. Though perhaps it was the fact that his self conversation had been about Ryuuzaki that he was so eager to separate himself from his presence, even when he hadn't even been up for a full minute.

Plus there was still the event from yesterday…

"You've been mumbling in your sleep for the last ten minutes," Ryuuzaki explained, ignoring his demand. He seemed perfectly comfortable straddled across the waist, his white frosted hands tangled in the excess fabric of his shirt. From the looks of it he too had just woken up but Light had no memory of when the ebony haired man had fallen asleep, or if he had slept at all. The events from yesterday morning had caused the rest of the day to remain in condemned silence with Light curled up against the opposite end of the couch while Ryuuzaki pecked away at his laptop as if nothing had happened. The teen was left to drown in his sea of questions and frustration as he tried to process what exactly Ryuuzaki had meant by 'him.' Who was this mysterious person who prevented him from loving? Since when did the great detective L allow someone else to control him?

None of it made any sense.

However, there were many different scenarios Light had come up with during his sixteen hours of free time while waiting for the sun to sink beneath the Tokyo horizon, using the absence of daylight as an excuse to creep off into bed; he had always had suspicions that Ryuuzaki was bluffing when it came to his blunt attitude and fearless nature but once he added everything up concerning the nightmares, jam, mysterious American visitor, and secretive attitude he knew something major was taking place. The Kira case was still top priority amidst the world and the world would be damned if Ryuuzaki were to change his pace concerning the capture of Kira, but perhaps this was the reason why he was keeping everything under wraps. In other words, everything concerning this mysterious person who had somehow managed to wrap Ryuuzaki around his finger was personal, and the detective didn't want anyone else to get involved.

Light was proud with his calculations- at least, proud enough to allow himself to fall asleep. Though he couldn't help but feel as if he were trapped inside some deluded fairy tale or old black and white film; the innocent proper country boy falling for the crown jewel of the city only to find that she ( or he for this oddly brewed scenario ) was trapped within some lewd relationship with another, helpless and torn between the two. Though Light would never define himself as 'country' with his upbringing and neither would Ryuuzaki if he were to ask him on his opinion on the matter. The teen was a well pampered brat and though it wasn't a description he cared for, it matched Ryuuzaki's with crooked accuracy.

They were alike in taste but different upon appearance.

And he couldn't helped but wonder if this mysterious other shared the same qualities.

"I wasn't mumbling," Light grumbled, brushing the flattened hair from his eyes. "What, were you just sitting there watching me sleep?"

"Yes," the answer was quick, eyes sizzling into his skull with the innocence of a child. "I was actually growing bored of it until you starting speaking."

Color tickled his cheeks. "D-don't watch me you freak, you should have just woken me u-"

"But if I would have woken you up then I would have missed what you were saying. After all, what you say in your dreams is more important then what you say when you're conscience. You're less likely to lie."

"Well did I say anything important then?" he shot back hotly, twisting his hips in another attempt to throw him off. "Did I raise your stupid little percentage toward me being a mass murderer?"

"Well…" he tilted his eyes toward the ceiling and Light wasn't sure whether he had missed the sarcasm or was simply ignoring it. "You didn't say anything all that interesting except the few times you mentioned my name. Did you dream about me, Light-kun?"

"No, how the hell would I know?" growing desperate, the teen curled his fingers around the detectives hips and squeezed, pushing him back with all his strength. "I don't care about things like that."

The touch seemed innocent enough but Light immediately regretted it when he felt the skin tense beneath his fingers, the black eyes lighting up as the man sprang off of him like a cat on hot bricks. Light would have been satisfied with the results if scaring him had been his motive but it hadn't and he was left groping cold air, chocolate eyes bubbling with confusion.

"Light-kun must remember his boundaries." Ryuuzaki mumbled, sitting on the opposite corner of the bed like a panther, gaze fixed. "Asking me to simply get off would have been more affective."

"I did-- and you ignored me!"

"But you didn't say please." he tilted his head to the side. "I don't take kindly to orders."

Light felt his mood flip flop as the skeletal figure before him continued to speak, noting his absence of expression as compared to yesterday; he was completely shutting himself out from Light, rebuilding the mask with flawless perfection and patience. Even when he had touched him no pain or fear had become noticeable except within the black pools of his eyes which the teen relied on to understand what was going on inside the detectives head. But even that was starting to proof useless…

Rolling his eyes, Light curled back against the covers as Ryuuzaki went on about the days schedule, mentioning the task force and his father but failed in catching his interest. Light knew very well what he was doing and he wouldn't fall for it- oh no. If this was how he was going to play this twisted game then he would wait for the right moment to strike. The detective had opened himself to Light much more then he had expected to yesterday and he was attempting to cover it up by playing stupid, swaying the topics of conversation to the investigation and shutting off any short-cuts which could lead to the origin of this mysterious other no one else knew about.

Except Light.

"Light-kun, I would really appreciate it if you would listen to me," Ryuuzaki snapped, bending over his still form but keeping his distance. "You need to get ready-"

The teens hands shot out from beneath the blankets and pushed the detective backward before he could finish, pinning his feeble frame against the covers, mustering as much strength as he could from his sleeping muscles. The task wasn't all that difficult though the detective did attempt to put up a fight after his body had recovered from the impact, limbs shaking and fingers curling as he held his wrists above his head. Fear flickered across the snow white skin but only briefly before a wave of anger rippled across the blank surface, pulling a smirk past Light's lips.

"I know what you're trying to do." he stated solidly, tightening his hold on his wrists. "I'm not stupid, Ryuuzaki."

"Off." was the only response he received and from the tone of his voice, it wasn't a request. "Now."

"Not until you admit everything that happened yesterday was real."

"I never said it _wasn't_ Light-kun, you're hearing things," he expressed sharply, eyes penetrating into his. "If this is what all of this is about, then your acting childish."

"I'm childish!?" the teens ears nearly bled, having heard this expression used for him countless times, growing older by the day. "You open yourself up to me and then shut yourself out as if you've changed your mind. Things don't work like that!"

"I'm not…" he tried his best to shift himself, cotton shirt riding up against the ghostly tinted shade of his skin. "…shutting you out."

"Then don't tell me you can't love me because you belong to someone else and expect me to leave you alone!" Lights lips swooped down upon his, tongue tracing across the horizontal surface of his teeth before engaging in a surprise battle with the unwilling detectives, his taste buds gathering traces of sugar and coffee as he pushed himself further. The trembling body twisted and shuddered beneath his own, hips pushing up in an attempt to throw him off but coming up short. Between the both of them Light knew Ryuuzaki had the power to throw him off- he had witnessed it first hand. But something was preventing him from applying his full force, a block imbedded in the rubix cube workings of his brain, sending danger signs throughout the interior of his body.

"Light," Ryuuzaki gasped, sucking in air as soon as he got the chance, gem incrusted eyes crooked. "I'm doing this for your own good- it's not worth risking your life over!"

"My life's at risk as it is, I think loving a freak like you will only make all this nonsense more bearable." he smirked, brushing the stray strands of ebony hair away from his face while kissing along the base of his neck. "Trying to scare me away won't change my mind."

The trembling increased as the kisses moved down toward the base of his collar, face twitching in an attempt to keep a calm demeanor- this was degrading. Such a high strung, arrogant teen holding him down, refusing to listen to his words. Everything Ryuuzaki was saying was true but as far as Light was concerned, listening wouldn't change anything. Why?

'_Cause listening won't get you what you want, Light Yagami.'_

Ryuuzaki's hips arched up harshly, anger building as he pressed against him in an attempt to throw him off, gritting his teeth. Why couldn't he just listen to him?

"_Your words are useless, you're nothing but a doll to me L," fingers twitched, sprinkled with traces of dirt and blood, blending into the texture of his fingertips as they swayed about the damp air in agony. "I'll play with you until I'm tired, then back on the shelf you'll go."_

Unexpectedly, Lights hips came back down upon his with equal force and for a single moment the world around Ryuuzaki suddenly lit up in a frenzy of color, eyes bugging out of his head.

Too far.

"GET OFF!"

The detectives knee collided into Light's stomach sending the teen sputtering to the side of the bed, curling into a limp ball as pain ran tight circles inside his gut, knocking the breath from his lungs. The chain kept his left hand suspended in the air above him and he used this as a brace to pull himself back up onto the mattress, breath ragged from the impact yet quick enough to recover and send fire burning into his oil laced eyes. No way was he going to stay down- determination was key.

Light had to show Ryuuzaki he was serious.

He wouldn't lose.

As if sensing his thoughts, Ryuuzaki's hand came flying out of nowhere, fingers curling around his throat but only succeeding in pushing the teen back into a sitting position as he fought against the attack, hands tightening on his wrists to stop him from crushing his wind-pipe. Light would have thrown him off completely if it wasn't for the mad look swimming in the detective's cat like eyes; a concoction of fear and hatred shooting darts into his skull, the mask torn off and leaving no traces of itself behind. If it wasn't for the intensity of the stare, Light would have sworn he was looking at somebody else- someone Ryuuzaki wished harm upon with every mangled shred of his entire being.

Something had snapped.

"Ryuuzaki," Light kept his voice calm and controlled, straining against the hands bruising his neck. "Let go. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I'm not your toy," he bit back, voice absent of any emotion as it shone from his face; he was lost, speaking as if in a dream. "Not again… I'm not yours… I'm me."

"It's okay," the teen soothed, forgetting his determination to win and concentrating on easing the detectives condition. "You're my friend Ryuuzaki, I would never treat you like a toy. Just relax…" his hands loosened against his wrists and for a moment he was unable to breath, the color draining from his face until the fingers began to slacken. "It's okay…"

Like a candle the madness slowly began to flicker from his eyes, leaving them smoky and blank amidst their white prison. His hands dropped to the teens shoulder and took refuge there, gripping onto his sleeves in an attempt to stifle the uncontrollable shaking. Relief spilled across Lights aching insides and he wrapped his arms around Ryuuzaki tenderly, wondering exactly what he had done that had caused him to snap.

Then his eyes found it.

It wasn't as if Light had been looking for it- no. It had simply been in his field of vision at the time as he gazed down at the detectives waist to avoid catching his eye, afraid he might reawaken the savage beast. If he had been in any other position the teen was positive he wouldn't have noticed it and both of them could have continued their day as planned, running about headquarters like two mice wound up in a strip of yarn, but it was too late for that- the damage had been done.

Light had succeeded in reawakening a side of Ryuuzaki he had never seen.

"Light-kun, what…" Ryuuzaki's voice was hazy, as if he had just awoken from a long nap and it took him a moment to realize what the teen was staring at, his lips tightening into a thin line but suppressing all signs of shock or embarrassment as he took the condition of his body into consideration.

An uncomfortable silence hung between them as both fought to scramble together the right words that would guide them carefully to the finish line of the looming conversation that was meant to follow, though Light had intentions of his own. Sensing this, Ryuuzaki opened his mouth to speak but Light shushed him with a single finger, brown eyes jumbled with guilt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen." he mumbled, biting into his bottom lip softly. "I didn't think that…well… I didn't mean to-"

"It's alright Light-kun, it wasn't your fault." Ryuuzaki interrupted, keeping his voice casual despite the uncomfortable tightness pulsing in between his thighs. "It was only natural for my body to react, I trust you didn't mean for it to."

"Yeah…" he swallowed, hands gently messaging the detectives back, running his fingers down along the skeletal protrusions of his backbone, wondering how he managed to stay so skinny despite all the sugar he consumed on a daily basis. But even occupying himself with this strange phenomena couldn't prevent his mind from taking control of his limbs and gently placing his hand against the button of Ryuuzaki's jeans.

As expected, his body stiffened turning his owl rimmed eyes stared up at him cautiously. "Light-kun…"

"Ssshh…" he averted his eyes away from the detectives, gently undoing the button with his thumb and forefinger, watching for any signs of danger whether it be a fist or a kick to the chest. Light was convinced he harbored some sort of death wish beneath the layers of his conscience with the way he kept burrowing himself into these situations concerning Ryuuzaki; any normal person would have learned by now but Light just kept pushing, always making it out alive with nothing to show for it. But this time… this time would be different…

"Light, no." Ryuuzaki's fingers wrapped tightly around his wrist. "I can take care of it myse-"

"I'm the reason you even have it in the first place and there's no way I'm standing outside the bathroom while you jack yourself off." he snapped, pulling down the zipper of his jeans without missing a beat. "Besides, I'm only doing this for your benefit- it's not like I'm getting anything out of it."

"Then why do anything at all?" the detective spat, body tensing as if he were about to spring; he wanted to get away from him, to avoid this situation he had no clue how to handle. Ryuuzaki was positive he would have kicked him off already if it wasn't for the fingers sending tingles up and down the bend of his back- an act of comfort he wasn't familiar with. It was almost as if Light was asking for his permission to do this to him instead of simply taking control like he usually did.

Why? The chestnut haired teen raised his brown eyes to him, all stubborn and brat like qualities absent from the chocolate whipped ovals as he stared at him with a softness the detective had never seen before; smooth and flawless without any visible proof of lies or tricks.

"Because I care about you, Ryuuzaki," he mumbled, a small stab of hurt becoming visible against his face. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

His words left the detective speechless, noting the pain in his eyes as if caring for him was a burden- something he had no control over no matter how many times Ryuuzaki tried to push him away. For a moment it felt as if a clamp were squeezing down upon the outer shell of his frigid heart, blaming himself for the teen's misfortune. He barely had time to dwell upon this pathetic excuse for an emotion when suddenly an electric bolt of heat shot through his abandoned nerves, melting the ice and sending color to the surface of his cheeks as a warm hand wrapped around the hardened skin between his legs, breath catching in his throat.

He wanted to say something- anything. Anything that could convince the teen that what he was doing was only sealing his fate whether it be as Kira or a trespasser upon property which wasn't his. If he had a choice he would gladly accept Light into his life as a partner, lover, or whatever it was called these days.

But he couldn't be selfish- he could put Light's life in danger.

"You really need to stop," he bit back, staring down at the hand holding him firmly in it's grasp. "Light, I'm warning you. I don't want you to get involved with this."

"It's alright," he moved his fingers against the moist skin, feeling it swell against his hold causing the detective's whole body to tremble madly. " Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise. We'll get through this."

Light moved his hand more deliberately, using the escaped fluid to glide his fingers across the pulsing skin like a skater upon a sheet of clean ice, fingers messaging the tip and working their way back down. Each touch caused Ryuuzaki to squirm and it was taking all the teen's strength to hold him in place, pressing his palm against the arch of his back, listening to the bones crack as he stretched. No sound escaped his throat- no screams of pleasure, no collaboration of long winded moans. The most Light could dish out of him was a few short gasps which were soon silenced by the cloth of the teens shirt as he clamped his mouth onto his shoulder, eyes squinting shut. Annoyance tingled on the outskirts of Light's heart but he didn't dare open his mouth and complain about it, simply increasing his pace; he knew it wouldn't be long until the building pressure made itself known…

'_He's probably never even touched himself before,' _Light pondered, removing his hand from the detectives back and lacing it in his sweat matted hair._ 'I wonder how he'll react…' _though the scars on his wrists reminded him that perhaps Ryuuzaki had gone through a sexual experience far worse than that of masturbation, if he snapped on him again Light would be in no position to defend himself.

'_It's all his fault… this… guy, whoever he is…' _hatred flared in his chest, trying to imagine someone as strong and blunt as Ryuuzaki overpowered by a looming shadow, red eyes glittering out of the transcending darkness. He could see the fear in his black eyes, the confusion and defending hatred- Ryuuzaki's last resort and only weapon. But Light knew what it was like to feel helpless and anger only served as a cover up as the damage took its toll on the inner workings of the mind.

There was no avoiding it- Ryuuzaki had learned the hard way and now he was left broken beneath the surface where nobody could reach. Light was the only one who had ever come so close to fixing him…

Trailing off into the labyrinth of his thoughts, Light had failed to notice his change in speed as his wet hand continued to pump the weeping skin, a bruise like pain developing in his shoulder as Ryuuzaki bit down, struggling to contain his voice. The helpless feeling had buried itself beneath the waves of oncoming pleasure, his small body unable to ignore the groping emotions as they took hold of his nerves, filling his head up with a misty haze and preventing him from thinking. Nothing had ever felt like this before; every time he shut his eyes the shadows and memories assaulted him, blocking the passion like a steel wall, twisting his heart into knots. But as soon as he opened them the memories scurried back into the shadows, scared away by the soft hand holding his head against the stiff shoulder, reminding him that he was safe. He could trust this person…

Suddenly his eyes widened, lifting his head with a small whimper. "Light…" Ryuuzaki's eyes gazed up into his, glazed over with emotion he could no longer suppress. Something was happening to him… something he couldn't control.

"Look at me," Light soothed, heart pounding at the expression pasted across his porcelain features. "Just concentrate on me and shut everything else out. It's okay…" he felt as if he were speaking to a child, brushing his ebony hair out of his face, sweat beading against the hot skin.

"Stop… being so nice to me," he gasped, hips rolling up to meet his hand with a small moan. His body was betraying him, acting on its own accord. "I know how to handle this…"

"I'm sorry," Light threw the apology out there as a precaution, sliding his hand back down to the delicate curve of his back, pushing him forward. He obliged without question, panting as he thrust up into the teen's touch while savoring every wave of pleasant feelings as they assaulted him without mercy. The fact that he was getting off so much by such lowly forms of self stimulation made him reconsider his position, wondering why he had agreed to sink so low.

But… wasn't something like this, after all, human?

Ryuuzaki was no exception.

It wasn't long before Light barely had to move his hand, the detectives hips meeting him half way in a steady, fast rhythm as his nails dug into the abused skin of his shoulders. The black eyes fluttered as they concentrated on Light, too afraid and too caught up in the moment to look away. If he looked away he would see him… the heaven Light had woven around him would give way.

Suddenly it became too much.

"Light, stop," the words were barely audible as he clung to him, moans held back by the thinnest of threads as he panted against the base of his throat. "Stop, it's not-"

"Just go with it," he whispered against his ear, trailing kisses across the pale lobe. The teen pumped him harder, his fingers a blur against the slippery skin causing the detective to arch up, eyes barely seeing him. "Let go, Ryuuzaki."

"N-no!" he shook his head frantically but Light held his face steady, gripping him by the chin so he was forced to stare into his eyes. A thin trickle of saliva made it's way past the detectives parted lips, gathering at the spot where his thumb met the pounding skin of his face. He looked so different like this- like a puppy growling at it's abusive master.

But Light was far from abusive- he was giving Ryuuzaki hope, something no one had ever presented him with without a fight.

With nowhere else to turn, Ryuuzaki simply allowed his eyes to focus on the face of the only person he world he would ever allow to treat him in such a manner, struggling to keep his face straight as the passion reached it's peak, the skin going rigid in Light's hand as he spilt over. His gem black eyes rolled to the back of his head, not a single noise emitting from his throat except for an occasional shuddering gasp as his body was rocked to and fro by the ascending pleasure, his body seizuring with the forgotten feelings as they claimed him once again.

'_It's not him… it's not him… it's okay to feel this…'_

Light held him until he was done, pulling him as close to his body as physically possible so that in case if-by some strange phenomena -he did happen to break, he would be there to put him back together. Even as the hot liquid coated his sore hand he didn't dare let go, listening to the sweet, suppressed gasps as they tickled against his ear cause his heart to beat dangerously. Each time he felt his body tense he bit back senseless words he wished to speak, to sooth, to heal…

"Let go…" Ryuuzaki's body slowly collapsed forward, his full wait supported against him as he struggled to catch his breath, saliva trickling from the corner of his mouth. His brain had regained control and was shooting warning signs left and right, but his body refused to listen, simply allowing himself to lay in the teens arm's without fear.

His body felt so warm and heavy, yet….

….nothing… nothing bad had happened.

"Are you okay?" Light gathered up the courage to ask, brushing the wet locks from his face so he could get a clear view of his eyes; there was a look planted within them he couldn't quite describe, a different shade of color amidst his usual schemes.

The detective's once shaking hands gave his bruised arms a soft, caring squeeze.

"…Yes." he whispered, resting his head against his shoulder with a small smile which he hid against the white fabric. He felt relieved…

…because for once, he was telling the truth.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The following days were ones not worth the melancholy use of descriptions or senseless verbs, for Light had not found the courage, or the time to spread the events out before him like a road map and track each stop to see exactly where this little twisted relationship was leading them. He was surprised that Ryuuzaki had not done this automatically with the way he kept pulling him aside at the most unexpected of moments, planting a kiss against the back of his hand, black eyes staring into him with a new kind of spark.

Something had caved in.

Light had expected his little stunt from that day to lead to nothing except mass chaos, sending the detective further away from him like a dog from a vacuum, leaving the teen to chase him back into his cage where he had nowhere else to run. In fact, he was so sure of this that when he had awoken the following day to find Ryuuzaki curled up against the sheets beside him, eyes wide and free of sleep, he nearly flew out of bed in fear of falling for some delusive prank. He had counted on the usual biting glare which had nearly burnt gaping holes in to his skin in the past, forever scarring him on the inside.

"Light-kun worries too much." he sighed, grabbing his hand and pulling him back down against the comforter. "I was going to suggest we go in to the other room and have tea, but if you would care to rest some more then I will simply have Watari bring it in here."

Thus… Light was treated to tea- a gift he was hesitant upon accepting.

But the gifts didn't stop.

They weren't really gifts of course, at least, not gifts littered with bows and ribbons. They were simple things- things Light had been deprived of since his confinement and things he had wished for amidst his darkest dreams.

Though not quite- the walls still remained up, stronger than ever except now they were transparent, allowing Light to see through them but with no way of getting to the other side.

For once, Light Yagami felt torn.

"I wouldn't complain if I were you," Ryuuzaki breathed as they made there way down the deserted hall to the main lobby, stopping every so often to plant a kiss against the others lips, swallowing each others words as they tried to walk, hold a conversation, and touch at the same time. "You're lucky I'm even permitting this."

His words sent anger tiptoeing through his veins and it managed to go unnoticed until he found himself trailing his hands beneath the cotton shirt only to be shoved away, cold hands curling around his wrist. It was during these moments Light felt the harsh sting of the twisted relationship they were weaving, noting the fear in his eyes which seemed to be permanent no matter how much Light tried to cheer him up. Ryuuzaki's mask had healed but scars remained etched amidst the porcelain design, unable to be smoothed away by his touch.

Things had changed but there were still limits.

And Light _hated_ limits.

But there was nothing either of them could do… apparently.

Sometimes Light found himself questioning Ryuuzaki; he was still hiding things from him, he was sure of that. Even though he was no longer shying away from him he had yet to open his mouth and tell the full truth whenever matters became serious. The only times he ever truly started anything pertaining to a worthy conversation or a set of kisses was after Light had endured a long, agonizing date with Misa (which, fortunately for the both of them, would cease during the next six weeks due to a movie she was shooting downtown.) After that, everything started spiraling down until the kisses were nothing but small pecks on the cheek and the discussion pertained mostly to the case. Ryuuzaki kept dangling the key to his thoughts before his eyes only to pull it away at the last second, the metal scraping against his fingers.

He was lucky to even get a glimpse at the detectives true motives.

It wasn't fair- none of it.

But Light couldn't deny he wasn't pleased with the progress.

Ryuuzaki, on the other hand, had his doubts.

He trusted Light- yes. That much was accurate. But there was still the matter of the extreme risk the both of them were taking in going through with this little hook-up. It went against everything he stood for from the cold hard fact that Light was a suspect, hence his reason for even being subjected to his presence day and night, to the little secret he kept buried beneath each healed and broken layer of his being.

If he found out… if he even heard a whisper…

No- he wouldn't think about it.

It was this little secret that kept him from letting the teen close in upon him, disliking the hands upon him when he least expected it. He could see the frustration it caused him, the anger nearly bleeding from his eyes, but he was in way shape or form going to allow him to get what he wanted.

This was enough; this was the farthest he would allow himself to go until things cleared up in the outside world.

Until he was sure he was gone.

"The murders have stopped…" he mumbled to himself one evening as him and Light sat amidst the empty lobby, the stars winking outside in the midnight sky. He had stayed up all night to do some extra work while the teen pestered him like a stubborn child until he turned his interest to his computer in cold silence, muttering something about coffee. The hours continued to tick by until the absence of movement caused the florescent lights to click off above them, Ryuuzaki's computer monitor serving as the only source of light as the teen's computer swirled about in an abstract screen saver; he had fallen asleep against the keyboard and the detective had fancied himself with the pleasure of staring at him, tilting his head to the side with a soft frown tweaking against his lips.

'_The murders in Los Angeles have stopped… could that mean…?'_

The possibilites piled up in a heap near the darkened corners of his brain but he cast them to the side, staring transfixed at Lights face; there was something… comforting about it. A feeling which he had been harboring over the last few weeks, tossing it around blatantly in his mind as he tried to decipher what it was.

"… You're a great burden, Light-kun," he sighed to himself, dropping his hands to his sides, listening to the chain as it scattered across the tile floor. "But I can't say I don't mind."

He was happy- happier than he had been in a long time.

Perhaps this stubborn little Prince was exactly what he needed to wake him up from the spell his enemy had cast on him long ago.

He had just begun to treat himself to a sip of lukewarm tea when the screen before him flashed to white. He blinked in confusion, the cup freezing in place before it reached his lips, wide black eyes drinking in the single letter visible against the blank backdrop, similar to his yet different in every possible way.

B.

'_Hello L.'_

Ryuuzaki was on his feet before the teacup hit the floor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This is the King of all cliff hangers and I'll leave you with it for now just to keep you all on your toes. Reviews would be nice, they keep the creative juices flowing!

Also, if any of you are following the English dub of Death Note, what's your opinion on Mello and Nears voice? The little jigsaw junky is perfect in my opinion but Mello… eh. Perhaps it will grow on me like L's did…

Until next time, read and review!

BTW, read 'Symmetry' if you haven't already, it's the Broken English prequel written by me and my friend and is in desperate need of some reviews. I just want to make sure you guys read it, we put a lot of work into putting it together.


	7. G

Arrow: Three words: Summer School. Math.

Enough said.

I bring you a long awaited update and apologize for the wait. Unfortunately school comes first and will from now on since it's my senior year. I thank you all for sticking with me and sticking with this story. This chapter has been the hardest of them all so I think it will be easier from here on out. I'm super happy with the feedback I have been receiving and hope you enjoy this chapter.

Note: Betaed as of 7/15/08

Now read!

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__

'I saw the clouds forming tornadoes in the sky  
The winter winds blew on lake Michigan that night  
I carved your name into my arm  
So I would remember you.'

****

Scream- Kill Hannah

XXXXXXX

L was never scared.

Ever.

Though he knew in his heart it was humanly impossible to suppress such a necessary emotion that didn't mean he had to _express_ it; Emotions were traits that allowed others to see what another is feeling- a portal into the inner workings of a persons mind. L figured that his mind was so complex that it was only best to shut out others and keep his feelings to himself. He was a detective, after all. It was a requirement. But no one could do it better than L. However, there was one major flaw in his clockwork process:

He could still feel.

Therefore, it was no wonder that it came as a bit of a shock to him when the sight of the glimmering white screen captured his full attention and his heart beat into overdrive. It was a horrible feeling; the steady rhythmic _thump thump _rattling his chest and threatening to burst like an animal from its cage. It angered him beyond description but the red flame sputtered and died before it had a chance to grow. He was too overwhelmed…

It wasn't that L hadn't been expecting it- oh, he _had_. The very thought had twisted its way into his skull until it had created a permanent socket in the brimming contents of his mind. Despite the Kira Case he had kept himself fully aware and open to the possibility of B contacting him. But like _this_…

Everything had been going so well.

The first thing he did was glance at Light, ebony hair whipping in his face as he gazed over at the sleeping teen; of all the times to fall asleep, this was the most perfect. Kudos to the kid for passing out in the most unlikely place but that still didn't over rule the possibility of him waking up. B… B didn't know he was here…did he?

The answer came almost immediately.

__

"I'm seventy-five percent sure you're alone, but in case you're not it doesn't make much of a difference. You have a way of smoothing things over, Lawli. I can leave the after math to you." the mechanical voice spoke casually, almost playful. _"I hope this message hasn't come as much of a shock to you, especially with all the murders which have taken place over in L.A." _the voice hesitated for a moment and L simply stared at the computer screen, face void of emotion, listening as one would a news broadcast. He had no interest to listen to this murderer speak but what could he do?

__

"I know there is no way for you to communicate with me at the moment, so I'll save you the trouble of talking and do it for you. It seems that these murders over in L.A are below you, Lawliette. You knew I'd be back and yet I haven't seen you making any sudden moves. I half expected to find you running over here on the fastest plane you can catch once you've figured out who it was behind each attack. The fact that you've chosen to remain over in Japan makes me feel… a little sad.

__

"If you're still hung up on what happened back then, it flatters me that you've kept me in your thoughts for this long. I think about you every day, it seems fitting that you do the same. I miss you so much, I wish you could come over and visit me. But knowing you so well I figured it would be best to come and visit you myself. You see…" the voice changed slightly, the tone turning to one less childish and more sinister. _"I'm interested in this case of yours. Andrews told me about your little charm bracelet you carry around with you wherever you go. To go so far as to chain an adolescent to your wrist day and night must mean you're truly serious about this case. Kira has become a global threat and you've gone beyond the call of duty and surrendered your own discomfort to play baby-sitter for a boy you suspect to be a mass murderer. That sounds a little bit too sweet for you, dear Lawli- so I thought it would be best if I come help out. This case interests me; perhaps… with a little luck, I can solve it before you can."_

The screen flickered and the white backdrop disappeared, shrouding the detective in bleeding darkness. He had already moved his arm out to push his chair away when the voice came back for a final say.

__

'"t still hurts doesn't it?"

The detectives eyes widened and the spark which had arisen within the inky black voids over the last week extinguished in a small breath.

__

'I hope to see you soon, sweet L. I'll see to it that everything works out.'

Thousands of miles away, a microphone hit the checker tiled floor of the Police Headquarters in L.A as the city struggled to wind down- always breathing, always moving. There was no one around to scold at the hunched figure positioned oddly in the computer chair, rocking back and fourth on the balls of his soiled feet like the pendulum of a clock. He sat staring down at the talking device as though reconsidering letting it sit there vacantly.

So much to say… so many things…

But he would wait.

With a half-hearted sigh the man toppled from his perch, curling up next to the microphone like a child to its toy. The scarlet eyes never moved, focused intently on the object which was his only connection to the man he had based his entire being on. He was becoming excited for his trip now; the blood spotted plane tickets crumpled up in his back pocket seemed to be fighting to get away and return to their owner sprawled out amidst the back alley of the station.

Mr. Denver was never destined to reach his flight in time- or ever. B had seen to that quite clearly.

A small giggle slid past B's lips and he clutched at his cotton shirt smearing spots of red across the white fabric. He couldn't wait, couldn't wait, couldn't wait!

Hopefully L would have jam for him when he arrived.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

__

'Rain rain go away,  
Come again another day,  
All the world is waiting for the sun.  
Is it you I want,  
Or just the notion  
Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around?'   
**_Rain- Breaking Benjamin_**

XXXXXX

Gray.

That was the first thing Light saw as he woke to the aching silence swimming through the still air of the lobby, brown eyes fluttering against the mixture of black and white as sunlight peaked through the cracks of the doors past security. His neck ached from the incredibly awkward position he had some how managed to sleep in throughout the night, his hand still clenched around the computer mouse before he sluggishly drew away, cracking his fingers loudly.

God, had they really slept out here? No one would be at work today so it would just be Ryuuzaki and him…

As if just remembering the detectives sleeping dilemma, Light pivoted in his chair so he was facing the direction of the chain binding him to the panda eyed man; the teen could barely make out the black silhouette hunched over in his usual quirky position.

"Hey, you awake?" Light yawned, rubbing sleep from his eyes. His clothes felt stiff and uncomfortable from sleeping and he wanted to get in the shower as soon as possible- he had grown use to the detectives presence outside the curtain every day and simply held conversation with him while going through the wash and rinse process but when the detective stepped in to take his place beneath the lukewarm water he never allowed him to see even a small section of exposed skin, simply tossing the towel over the dry end of the shower rod. A shy action on his behalf, but Light never thought much about it.

Maybe he would be more generous today.

"Ryuuzaki?" Lights lips split into a frown and he slowly stood up listening to the bones in his legs snap and creak back into place before taking the short three step stride over to the hunched man, peering down into his unblinking eyes. He looked like a statue; his body cast in stone by some evil spell Light had failed to acknowledge over the long hours of the night. The teen would have believed him to be dead if it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of his chest barely visible beneath the over-sized cotton shirt. Everything about him was vacant… distant…

"Hey…" cautiously he lowered his hand to shake the detective by his shoulder but his fingers had barely grazed the soft fabric before he was stopped by a cold, demanding voice.

"Don't."

Lights hand froze in mid-air, waiting for him to say more; but nothing ever came. Clearly the man was either ignoring him or he simply wasn't all there, lost in the clock work structure of his mind. The longer Light stared waiting, the more he thought he could almost make out the wheels and cogs twirling about beneath the mop of black hair, the pieces unsteady yet functional despite the small spring which had popped over night and was slowly affecting the rest of the operation.

Something was up. And Ryuuzaki- as usual- had no plans on telling him.

He was fed up.

In one swoop, Light took the detective into his arms and worked on carrying him up to their room despite the fuss he made, his bare feet attempting to land a kick to Lights exposed side as his shirt rode up along his torso from the effort; the statue had become possessed and by what, the teen didn't have the slightest clue.

"Get off!" L croaked, voice hoarse from neglect as soon as Light entered their room, the stale air hitting him square in the face. He ignored his plea and struggled over to the bathroom which had very much been left alone over the course of their stay due to the absence of a mirror and medicine cabinet. With his foot Light turned the knob of the bath toward him as far as he could before L used the wall as a brace to shift himself so he could elbow the teen in the neck, putting a crack in his controlled anger. Biting back the pain he stumbled into the next room and chucked the crazed man onto the bed, just managing to grab his wrists before he could scoot away and held them at his sides.

"Will you talk now?" he asked bitterly, though from the looks of it he wasn't even close to agreeing. The beetle black eyes were even blacker than usual and in no way, shape or form, fit the way he had acted on the way up here. It was almost as if he were simply fending off a nightmare and Light was a main role.

"Get off," he struggled against Light's hands until he had gained enough distance between himself and the teen to plant his foot against his chest but he held on, grabbing at his shirt in an attempt to lift it off and only than did the black eyes reflect color. "Light, I said get off!"

"Fine," he released his shirt and proceeded to toss his flailing body over his shoulder- a smoother move than before- and back tracked his way into the bathroom where he deposited the detective like a basket of laundry into the frigid tub. A choked gasp slid from his lips as the water sloshed over him but besides that, Ryuuzaki offered little more of a normal human reaction.

God, what was wrong with him?

"Are you awake now?" Light asked expressionlessly.

"I was awake to begin with," L snapped, drenched black hair sticking to his face as he shivered. "If this is your way of waking me up Light-kun I highly disapprove of it-- in no way is this necessary."

"Then why won't you talk to me?" Light sighed, feeling as if he was repeating himself. "Ryuuzaki, you looked like you had seen a ghost-- you were paralyzed."

"I was fine."

The teen raised an eyebrow. Ryuuzaki's definition of 'fine' was twisted- like himself. "Did you even sleep?"

"No, I was working." he made as if to hoist himself out of the frosted tub but he seemed to reconsider it as he neared the edge and simply sank back down into the clear water, hugging his knees to his chest. "I have a lot of work to do. A lot of work."

"You mean _we_ have a lot of work. Remember we're in this together." Light reminded him, his voice more scolding than determined as if he were reprimanding him for forgetting to include him.

Ryuuzaki sighed loudly, shifting slightly in the water. There was something about the emotion in that single gesture that made Light's heart quicken nervously but he ignored it before his mind went off on its own, wondering if instead he should pull him out of the water. His only intention had been to wake him up, not for him to wade in it. But his eyes… they were so lifeless. An oval of pure onyx without any shine to its surface.

"Light-kun."

The teen glanced up. "What?"

"May I remind you that even though I said you were more than welcome to help me with the Kira Investigation, you are still- in the end- a suspect. We've had this talk before."

"But like I've said before, I'm asking you as a…" the word bumped against his bottom lip and he swallowed it before it came out. "… friend."

The dark eyes flickered up at him. "What were you going to say before, Light-kun?"

Silence settled in the room, minus the steady dripping of water from L's drenched locks. It echoed loudly in Lights ears until he thought he would go deaf from the noise, ticking away the seconds like the hand of a clock, waiting. Both knew in their hearts that they were just running around in circles. This conversation was becoming worn out; a simple shield in order to keep the other from stepping over their boundaries and into personal territory. Light had gotten closer than anyone else, braved the knights, the dragons, and stormed the castle gates. But the tower door remained locked.

L would only offer him a window- but never full entry.

He had to confront this before he forced the door from its hinges.

"Light-kun," Ryuuzaki tilted his head to the side, black eyes expressionless and vacant. "Do you love me?"

Lights heart skipped a beat but he held his ground. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because even though I've allowed reckless actions of physical and personal contact between me and you over the last week I have come to believe that you have let this get to you on a personal level, regardless of my warning and I would like to know… why?"

"You're the one who allowed it, don't try to pin the blame on me," he spat. "If I fell in love with you it would be entirely your fault."

A shadow of a smirk crossed the mans lips. "So you do love me?"

"… Ryuuzaki why the he-"

"What is your motive Light-kun?" L drove on, voice rising. "Why would a suspect fall in love with the very man who imprisoned him? You have no clear reason after everything that has happened between us business-wise, you have a lovely girlfriend, and if I so much as gain one more scrap of evidence that you are Kira, I'm turning you in."

"You have no other evidence- using that as your only source of evidence is low, even for you Ryuuzaki!" Light hissed though his heart felt like it was on fire. Everything he was saying made sense… he really…

…What was his motive?

"This is evidence enough," carefully L stood up, using the shower head as a brace, his pants heavy and damp against his skin. "Getting closer to me with no motive leaves only one explanation- Kira would want to get closer to L in any way possible. This would work out nicely concerning how highly he thinks of himself."

Light felt the sharp sting of denial as the window shut on him, permitting all forms of entry into the detectives fortress, leaving him speechless before the painted doors. In his short seventeen years of living, Light Yagami had never been denied anything he ever wanted, not even once. He hated L yet living with him seemed so much easier in his eyes, regardless of having no motive. He couldn't explain it… Ryuuzaki was so much like him, his equal, even. Maybe it was the challenge of it all; trying to break through the walls of the worlds greatest detective, a simple graduate such as himself attempting to accomplish such a feat.

But no- he blamed Kira.

L blamed Kira for his unrequited love.

The detective made to step out of the tub, the metal chain scraping against the porcelain bottom as he lifted out one pale foot, but Light stopped him, pushing the man against the shower wall and holding him there with his hands.

"After everything that's fucking happened you're just going to blame it on me being Kira!?" the words cracked through the air, shattering the walls L had crafted around himself, draping him like a garment. "I don't care how important this god damn case is anymore, obviously you have something else going on that's making it harder for you to concentrate and you're still calling me a murderer after everything I've tried to do for you! The fact that the almighty L is shivering in his sleep and hiding from some nonexistent person who's stalking him sounds like a bunch of bullshit in my opinion, you're just trying to hide the fact that maybe you do care about someone, you're just too damn proud!"

L's black eyes flickered vaguely as his voice rose in volume and Light knew exactly why, driving into it head on. He thought he had forgotten his words from the other day after the mysterious phone call, but Light remembered clearly. "What, you;re going to deny it now? Poor little Ryuuzaki can't talk about his secret lover? Scars mean nothing when you lie."

"Seventy percent," L hissed, as if he were forcing those two words out amidst a sea of others tearing at his throat. He held his ground with difficulty, feet slipping amidst the luke-warm water coating his feet up to his calves. He couldn't get away, he couldn't escape Lights words even if he freed himself from the watery prison he had trapped him in. "Light, I'm warning you."

"You've been warning me and nothing's happened, don't pull that on me, L, I'm not scared!"

"Well you should be!" L snapped, pushing against his hands.

"Tell me, then! Tell me who this shadow guy is who you belong to, if he even exists. Tell me who's lowered you to the point that you can't even make your own fucking decisions!" his grip was tightening now, squeezing the thin shoulders like twigs. "You have two choices Ryuuzaki- either you turn me in as Kira and I get the death penalty, or this psycho guy kills me. Take your pick."

"You can avoid both if you stop stepping over your boundaries." L snapped.

"I'm not letting you have that much power over me, especially after everything that's happened between us!"

"None of it matters, you're just a suspec-"

"I rather die because some guy knows I love you than die because you believe my actions are driven by Kira!"

As soon as the words left his mouth a tremor sparked through the air, jolting Ryuuzaki as the door to his tower was torn from its hinges, swinging his fist at Lights face in a final act of defense, sending him flying to the bathroom floor. The impact disoriented his vision as he crashed against the hard ground, struggling to lift his throbbing head from the tile floor where he had landed, listening to the splashing and scraping of metal above him. When he managed to focus his eyes on the shower however he found it free of any signs of human life, the only trace of Ryuuzaki being the metal chain as it dangled from the metal rod of the shower, clasped shut around the circular appendage.

He… he had actually…?

"Fuck…" Light scrambled to his feet, slipping on the wet floor in his attempt to reach the door but found the room to be vacant, almost ghost like. His hand stretched out behind him helplessly as he remained chained to the shower like some disobedient dog, wondering how he was going to get himself out of this mess. Ryuuzaki would have to come free him in time, but after everything he had just said…

… Light had gone too far to turn back now.

Clenching his hands into fists, he turned back into the bathroom and stared at the floor, watching the foggy image of his reflection stare back at him, his features shadowed over from lack of light. God, what was he doing? He valued his life more than Ryuuzaki, he just wanted to get out alive and innocent. This wasn't helping him either way…

He just wanted his full trust- whether or not wanting it meant he was in love was beyond his calculations.

For once Light Yagami was at a loss between right and wrong.

And as he tore into the shower head with his bare hands, twisting the plastic head and cracking it back and fourth until his fingers screamed against the pressure, he wondered if pursuing Ryuuzaki would end up making things better or worse.

His life depended on it.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

__

Sunlight streamed loudly through the exposed windows, the glass dusted and worn in more places than one, exposing the dust covering the wooden floor like small droplets of snow. Voices could be heard from outside; muffled and glittering with laughter and mischief which kids tended to carry with them as they bonded amidst the open ground away from older eyes. Many preferred the open out doors as compared to the stuffy, crowded halls of the orphanage which seemed to have taken a different glow ever since L had come back from his latest case. The glow was only noticeable to those who searched for it, leaned toward its gentle glow which they longed to take as their own.

Backup was no exception- the glow practically blinded him yet his eyes continued to strain toward their goal morning, noon, and night.

"You know you can come closer," L stated without even a glance toward the figure propped up against the closed door, his black eyes stuck to the laptop he remained glued to while the kids went about their daily schedule. The detective was eighteen and Whammy's House still held it's homelike qualities in his vacant eyes, even after seven months of absence. The little shadow which had taken to watching him every recess was beginning to catch his interest, though he had grown used to it. "Or would you rather stay over there?"

Small black eyes watched him unblinking, tracing letters in the dusty floor without a single glance downward. "Roger will yell at me if I don't go outside." he mumbled, voice full of defense. Crow black locks hung around his bitter eyes and they seemed to glimmer in the sunlight as he raised his head, looking away for the first time in an hour.

L swiveled to face him carefully, a sucker sticking out from in between his placid lips. "That hasn't stopped you from coming back over the last week," he reminded him, holding out a small red sucker for him to see. "You were more social last time I was here B, why the sudden change?"

By the time he finished speaking B had already made his way across the room toward him, eyes set on the sweet in his hand, but he stopped, fingers clenching at thin air.

The black eyes turned toward him and for a moment L thought he saw a glimmer of scarlet buried beneath the black pigment.

"I missed you," he whispered, fourteen year old hands dropping to his sides.

L tilted his head. "I missed you too, B," he began to unwrap the sucker, throwing the wrapper on the desk behind him. "I missed everyone."

"Did you miss A?" B frowned, waiting for the sucker patiently though his eyes seemed troubled. "A said he didn't miss you. He said it gave him more room to think."

L nodded. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, he said with you out of the house he had more time to study. I told him he was stupid and I hit him in the head for it."

L had been in the process of extending the sucker toward him but he stopped, staring down at the boy with a frown. "B, don't hit people, it's not nice."

"Well he wasn't nice to you, so why should I be nice if he's not?" B argued stubbornly, reaching for the sucker but L held it out of reach, listening. "I told him I would tell on him and he didn't care."

"It's just his opinion B, he doesn't have to miss me." L sighed, letting him have the sweet before bringing his thumb up to his mouth, chewing softly. "Don't beat up on him for it. He's your friend."

"Friends don't laugh at other friends!" the boy snapped, toes curling inward.

"What did he laugh at you for?"

The anger faded from his eyes instantly, realizing he had said too much and instead busied himself with the sucker, plopping it in his mouth. L let him cool down for a moment, studying the boys features before asking the question again, hoping to clear up this little friendship fight.

"B, what did A laugh at you for?"

"…"

"B," his voice became sharper. "Tell me."

"…I told him…" B twisted the sucker in his mouth, the round ball jutting out from his cheek as he stared intently at the floor. "I told him I l-love you…"

The distant sound of laughter died away as the orphans were called in from recess, followed by a collaboration of hushed voices and footsteps outside the wooden doors as they scurried to their classes. B made no sign of joining them and L continued to stare at him, trying to decipher whether or not he should send him on his way.

"B, you better get to class."

The black eyes gazed up at him desperately.

"Tell A if I hear any more stories about him teasing I'll have a talk with him personally."

The footsteps died away and L turned back to his work, ignoring the boy as he stared at him for awhile longer, like a cat to its owner before heading toward the door with jumpy quick steps, leaving behind a sea of questions L found himself swimming in.

He was fourteen years old- it was just a phase he was going through, it would pass with time.

It was A he was worried about- the boy held a grudge against him he couldn't quite explain…

But it was back then that L made his first mistake- one he would pay for later.

"B…" L shut his laptop quietly and made his way toward the door, bare feet sliding across the brown surface before stopping momentarily to stare at the spot where the boy had positioned himself before he had spoken to him. Amidst the dust and the sunlight a single L was visible, the number three placed closely beside it so it gave off the illusion of the letter B. Or maybe it wasn't an illusion at all, but simply the awkward hand writing of a fourteen year old boy.

B knew more than anything that it was impossible to spell B without L.

A never had that privilege.

L never once cared.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Rain plummeted from the sky like bullets, beating the exposed city senseless as the drains and buildings gargled the collection of water before spitting it out into the collection of sewers and drain pipes. Slivers of sunlight peaked out from the black puffs of clouds rolling continuously overhead, just barely brushing the white skin peaking out from the blanket of wet locks as gem black eyes stared up at the sky as it continued on with its show of black and white. His wrist felt bare without the handcuffs; their absence reminded him of the loss he had suffered moments ago, the way he had fled from the room in a desperate attempt to escape Light's prying words.

He couldn't keep doing this; he would have to put him back in confinement if he so much as pulled one more string. Light had to back off or it would be the end of both of them.

L had created a monster- L would be the one to take him on in the end.

__

'I told him I l-love you…'

A thin trail of water dripped across the bridge of his nose and he wiped it away on the back of his sleeve, only making the situation worse. When he had met B in the church five years ago he had not remembered him. But as the years ticked by, things he had long forgotten were beginning to resurface. B had acted like they had never met in person before but now that he thought about it…

Perhaps B had not wanted him to remember…

Though he was a genius, L had always valued knowledge over memories; it was just how his brain worked. But the ones B had left with him had failed to go away and Light wasn't making it any easier.

He couldn't keep doing this; no matter what choice he made now he was in danger and Light was included.

B left him with no choice.

Which meant B- after four years of silence- still had as much control over L as he had in the beginning.

"Ryuuzaki!"

Footsteps padded behind him in the sea of rain and L's cold heart clenched terribly, eyes staring unblinking up at the sky. He could feel Light's presence behind him but he didn't want to believe he was there. He needed more time…

"Ryuuzaki," a hand rested on his arm, cold and damp from the ongoing rain. "Why are you out here?"

The soft touch…

His fingers squeezed the exposed skin softly.

… he _hated _it.

"… Ryuuzaki?"

"He's not imaginary."

The rain seemed to falter, the clouds shifting in their continuous roll. Light was the only one who dared to disturb its pause. "What?"

"Those scars are real, Light, no matter what you say or what you believe they're real." his voice trembled with the thunder up above but his face remained blank. "Do you think I like talking about it? That I use these stories to gain pity out of you?" he turned to him sharply, throwing his hand away. "I don't want to tell you for a reason, Light!"

Lights eyes remained locked on him, blinking the water from his lashes. "Not telling me won't make everything better Ryuuzaki."

"You don't need to know what I've been through!" L snapped, eyes glistening. "I've gone this long without telling anyone, nobody needs to know about him! Nobody…"

__

Pleasure stroked his nerves as the pain began to subside in his hips but the blood and tears said otherwise, stinging his nostrils with the sickening sweet mix of copper and strawberries-

"I never liked, it I never liked any of it!" L shrieked, shaking his head frantically as the barriers crumpled. "He said I did but I didn't! I'm not that kind of person, Light, I'm a detective!" he gripped at Light's top and the clouds continued to rumble, a flash of lightening bolting across the sky. The teen was at a loss for words, wondering whether or not he should interrupt him but he didn't have the heart- just listening would be enough…

"I'm L… I've always been L, why did I call him L…?" he whispered, black eyes vacant and empty. "B always wanted to be me. He doesn't care who gets in his way, he's worse than Kira. He'll kill you!" the sky lit up and for a second Lights eyes met Ryuuzaki and he could see the blind fear hidden beneath the dripping black orbs. "I can't love anyone Light, I can't cater to you when so much is on the line, I can't!"

"Ryuuzaki… who is…" but he couldn't finish his sentence, he couldn't stand to bring him down any further than he had; even as he wrapped his arms around his waist and felt the familiar flinch tweak his thin frame he knew he had gotten further than Ryuuzaki had intended him too.

"Don't touch me…" L hissed harshly and he struggled against the other body but Light only pulled him closer. "D-don't, if he sees…"

"He won't see," Light assured him, staring up at the sky as the rain slowly started to give out, exposing a small glimpse of blue sky. "B… he can't see you, not all the way up here."

"Yes he can, he knows about you," L choked, fighting to keep his eyes dry now that he no longer had the rain to hide behind. "He'll take you away from me…"

"I'm not going anywhere…"

For a minute the sun hung above them, melting Light's chocolate eyes as he stared up into the golden rays, clutching the detective to his chest in order to hold him together. His hands continued to shake against the teens shirt and only tightened when the sun slipped back behind another set of clouds, turning the sky back to its gray stained hell.

"I hate him," L seethed, trying to fill the doorway he had left open. "I hate him… the fact that I've ended up like this… it's disgraceful." Light tipped the detectives chin with his finger so he could see his clouded eyes and L let him. "Not even Watari has seen me this way."

"I don't plan on bragging about it," Light smiled, brushing the wet hair from his eyes. "in fact I don't plan on telling anybody, this is between you and me."

"I won't _let_ you tell anybody," L muttered, returning to his usual placid voice. "You're still under my watch."

"Really?" the teen smoothed the water and tears from his pale face and he made to place a kiss on the damp lips, but L turned away at the last moment, his eyes filled with defeat and sadness. Frowning, Light let it go and grabbed his wrist, holding the closed end of the handcuffs out for him to see. "Lets go inside."

Without even looking at him, L snatched the metal from his hand and fished inside his pocket for the key. Light thought it was a little unnecessary since L could probably slide the cuff on and off at will due to the size of his wrist but he was sick of arguing and the detective seemed in bad enough shape as it was. Light wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do now; he was stuck with a load of information that needed explaining and a broken, rain drenched detective.

"Ready?" Light checked as Ryuuzaki snapped the cuff on in one swift motion.

The black eyes remained fixed on his wrist. "Where are we going, may I ask?"

"Inside, come on."

By the time they made it back into the building, fresh rain had begun to pour from the tainted sky and Light found himself turning away from it and directing the detective to the break room. When the task force members had nowhere to go for lunch they usually came there and helped themselves to whatever Watari had to offer for the day. Unfortunately Watari wasn't present at the time but he had left behind enough snacks and food to keep L happy while Light dried off, fixing himself a cup of coffee (with one hand, the other caught between the chain and his body.) Ryuuzaki had made no move to dry himself off and simply sat unwrapping a collection of Hershey's kisses but showed no interest in eating them.

Light threw the towel at him, taking a seat in the chair across the tiny coffee table which resided in the middle of the room. L stared at the towel as if Light had thrown a dead animal at him in a failed attempt at making him laugh, and simply picked it up and draped it over his head, continuing with his Kisses.

Light braced himself for the string of silence which he knew would probably take up the remainder of the afternoon. He had enough coffee and magazines to keep him out of its awkward clutches for about an hour but in no way was Light going to ask him anymore questions, not until he calmed down. L was a tiger waiting to pounce and if playing with Hershey wrappers was going to calm him down, then so be it.

But of course L always had a way of surprising people.

"Light."

The teen glanced up from his coffee, meeting the gem black eyes as they stared at him with a look he couldn't quite read.

L placed the final wrapper in a small pile he had created on the edge of the table before setting the final bare kiss down on the wood surface so that all twelve pieces formed a single letter.

The letter B.

He leaned back, placing the abused nail of his thumb in between his exposed teeth . "What is it you would like to know?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Arrow: Writing L like that literally kills me inside, it's so not him. But due to the circumstances it's necessary. I stuck the Whammy House bit in there because I want L to have known B from the orphanage but since we didn't stick that in the prequel, it's a little hard trying to loop the two together. But it'll all work out and make sense in the end.

Poor L and light. They have no idea what they want from each other. B seems to be the only one who knows what he wants.

Hope to update soon, please review!


	8. H

Yes. You read this right.

I'M UPDATING.

I deeply apologize for the four month delay. Basically what happened was I decided to outline each chapter in order to make the writing process quicker but ended up messing up several major points in the plot so that I basically ended up coming up with a completely different ending then what I was going for (and leaving several major questions unanswered) so instead of leaving it as it was, I went through the painful process of re-outlining until everything came together.

Along with this, I've been dealing with my schools theater department for our production of Les' Miserable's in which I have happily landed the role of Eponine and have been working my butt off to put together.

So now I bring you a long awaited chapter and hope you haven't completely forgotten about me and this story during the long wait. Please stick with me, this stories just getting started!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

/H/

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Silence draped across the comfort of the room, threatening it's balance as the rain assaulted the windows in large, fresh, drops. The city was a blur of gray and black, smeared by the constant spray of water so Light felt as if he were in some kind of ship liner, unaware of his location. But the chain on his wrist told him that he was still exactly where he had been just seconds ago before the words he had been waiting to hear spilled from the detectives mouth, taking there time in reaching the core of Light's brain, fulfilling one of his many aspirations.

'_What would you like to know?'_

This was his chance.

Light was allowed only a breath of response before a crooked smile captivated the detectives lips and he tilted his head. "Actually…I take that back." he seemed paler now, as if he were acting out of stress, making the incision quickly so he could get it over with. "What is it that you think you know Light-kun?"

"…" The teen kept his lips glued shut for the greater good- it was a trap. Anything he said, even the tiniest mistake…

The clues L had dropped made it far too obvious; but Light had never looked them over to double check. The nightmares and shaking were a given, like some protagonist on a _Lifetime_ movie. The jam would never make sense as far as he was concerned, but the words Andrew had spoken to him that night, no matter how faint and muffled they had been from where Light had resided, tied a knot in the collection of threads he had collected leading to the answer of L's mystery.

"Well?"

Light looked up from his thoughts and felt a stab of annoyance at the darkly amused look L was fixing him with, as if Light were the one about to confess. "What conclusion have you gathered from your evidence?"

The teens chocolate eyes struggled to find something to fix on other than his judging eyes in the most discrete way possible and once again his eyes came to rest on a mark against the pale skin, peaking out from behind his thumb as it fiddled against his lips.

"You were raped." He answered grimly, taking a sip of his coffee regardless of it's boiling texture.

The mask coating L's face in all of it's tattered glory seemed to fringe and ripple, a series of creaks and shatters raging soundlessly behind his black eyes which served as nothing but a tinted window into the memories plundered him. On the outside he appeared unaffected by Lights answer but the teen knew the detective better than he thought.

It was more than obvious.

Light placed his teacup down on the table and the sound of clinking porcelain seemed to reawaken the pale statue.

"You seem sure of yourself," L mumbled, continuing to stare at the teen like a tiger playing with its prey. "Why?"

Light's eyes narrowed- he wasn't going to play this game. Not this time.

"If I'm wrong, you should just tell me instead of-"

"Did I say you were wrong? L interrupted, discarding a broken sugar cube from the cup beside him. "Now you're jumping to-"

"Ryuuzaki."

"Light-kun, let me finish please."

"Not if you're just going to avoid answering the quest-"

"Light."

L's voice was steely, layered with the stress he was applying to each word in order to avoid yelling, hell bent on keeping the conversation contained- his feeble frame was shaking from the pressure of it. "Just… listen. If you can't apply yourself to following such a simple task then this conversation is over."

Light remained motionless in an attempt to please him though he would much rather have raised his voice to the heavens, annoyed at the fact that L had waited until now to choose to tell him. He was glad, of course- but the stress of all the trouble he had to go through to get to this point was in his opinion, unnecessary.

But then something struck him of a different flavor.

L…

Part of Light had always known; that was the first thing his mind recalled when the words left his mouth, sealing his accusations. Perhaps it was because of the simplicity of the situations in the rotten world of today that made it less shocking. But the thought of L- Lights L, the man who slumped in his seat and feasted on various collections of sugar until his blood ran heavy with the white substance, the L who made his life hell with each passing day, the L who had slept in his arms each night- had been the victim of the very type of crime someone such as him would fight to bring to justice.

Lies.

L was above such common cases- L barely acknowledged them.

So why should he acknowledge his own case?

"I must say though Light-kun, the term rape is rather vague in a situation such as mine." L stated casually, stirring his tea in a slow yet deliberate rhythm. "Many would view rape as a form of forced intercourse, a situation where one person regardless of gender is unwilling to conform with the other. My 'rape' however, was a bit more involved than the general standards of such an unstable crime." A grim smile was creeping onto his face as he spoke and the tea in his cup began to slosh over but he made no move to clean it up- Light stayed planted in his seat. "My rapist kept locked within himself… a rather deranged obsession with me which began back when he was of a younger age. I was aware of the issue at the time but I made little progress in taking care of it." he looked up at Light with gaping eyes and the teen found himself straying away from them. "That was my first mistake."

"Wait… how does that make your case any different then the others?" Light argued, being careful as to what questions he chose to ask. "Normal people don't rape other people."

"True," L nodded vaguely. "However, I am referring to the process of the rape rather than the mental state of the person doing it." for a second the detectives hand flicked open at his side and Light watched him rub the pad of his thumb against the barely visible brown line splattered in the middle of his palm- it seemed brighter now, more prominent than before. Ryuuzaki's expression cracked as soon as he met Lights eyes.

"There are some memories, I do not wish to revisit." L told him, his eyes hard and cold. "This one in particular is a rather prominent black mark on the history of my career as a detective and do to current events, I found myself unable to hide away from it. Before I took you in to custody I was aware of murders taking place in America but felt no need to investigate into them with the Kira Case being my top priority. Soon after I took you and Misa-san out of confinement our short lived friend Mr. Andrews arrived." he smiled darkly, eyes fluttering with a dark taste of amusement. "I trust that you weren't fooled by his act either, do to the fact that ever since he arrived you've been pestering me about my past."

Light shifted slightly in his seat. "What do you mean by fooled?" he asked, titling the remaining coffee in his cup back and fourth, watching it threaten to spill before turning it back up right. "I knew he was there for a reason other than the Case but other than that…"

"You recall the night he came to visit me?" L asked, watching him play with the cup with a small bite of annoyance in his eyes, not wanting him to ruin the carpet. "I knew you were awake from the beginning but the conversation was best kept in closed quarters. I doubt you remember much anyway, but just to check, what can you recall?"

"He…" Light was still cautious with his words, not wanting to fall into a trap, even during such a serious conversation- anything was possible with Ryuuzaki, especially in the state he had driven him too. He had forced his way into the tigers lair and now he had to wait patiently to hear his story before he was allowed back out, free from harm. "… He pinned you against the wall from the sound of it, but what you two were saying I don't remember. None of it made sense to me at the time anyway." realizing what he had just said, Light looked up at Ryuuzaki, eyes wide. "Was he… did he…?"

"No," the answer was immediate, as if he were expecting the teen to come to such a conclusion. "Andrews was not my attacker. He was sent by my attacker to give me a message."

"Such as?"

"Nothing that you would understand." L answered, avoiding the eyes he knew were bound to become annoyed with his response. "To put it simply, he was sent to tell me that my attacker is planning to pay me a little visit in the near future. Though we must not worry ourselves with that at the moment."

"But it does worry you," Light snapped, hands tightening on his chair, leaving his cup vacant on the table; it made sense now. The nightmares, the sleepless nights, the vacant look of terror which tweaked at his spotlight eyes when he thought no one was looking. "You're afraid of him coming back, that's why you've been acting so strange."

"I'm not afraid." he stated firmly. "He's a danger to the Case. I don't need him messing about with it in an attempt to overthrow me when I'm close enough as it is."

"You've reached a dead end, you told me yourself you have no new leads." his anger was growing now, upset by his careless behavior. "As soon as he finds that out he's going to come here and what do you plan to do then? If he knew enough about our location to send someone to talk to you then we're basically sitting here and waiting for him to make the first move!"

"He has already made the first move several times, but we are not in danger yet." L explained, voice bitter with stress. "He has no way of breaking in here, we have top security and Watari knows of his existence. We have nothing to fea-"

"How can you say that!?" Light roared, getting up from his chair; he was handling this as if it were nothing. If Andrews flew back to America then Ryuuzaki's attacker knew everything concerning the case, even Light's family and position. As far as Light could see, everybody was in danger and even Ryuuzaki's high tech fortress couldn't keep them safe, not from a crazed serial killer desperate for the detectives attention. Kira was far less dangerous to the rest of them and only Ryuuzaki was in danger concerning both malicious entities. "You were raped Ryuuzaki! This is related to a case you didn't win so what makes you think you can win now?"

"I never lost that case," L hissed but his body shifted deeper into his chair, as if Lights words were casting everything he had said in stone. "The case never ended and it won't until I come out on top."

"At what cost?" the teen flung his hand toward the floor, motioning toward the Investigation Team which usually resided down on the lobby floor, now vacant for the weekend. "We're already all willing to risk our lives for Kira. But what makes you think we're going to risk our lives to protect you from some serial murderer who's obsessed with beating you?"

"At the same exact cost for what you all are already risking. Kira and my attacker are no different." he curled his arms around himself staring at the floor, the cotton of his shirt still damp with rain. "You have no reason to be afraid Light-kun."

"Why?" Light stepped closer to him, chestnut hair heavy against his eyes. "What makes you so sure?"

"Because…" L's eyes widened in a silent scream, the rest of his face remaining blank and smoothed over, the face of a man who had died long before his career had even started. "… it's me he wants."

A hand rested on the back of his neck and the detective merely tensed; he forgot how easily swayed Light was, noting the amount of sadness he had allowed to filter into his words, allowing the other to cup his face in his hands, straying his eyes to the side so he could avoid looking at him. This little game they were playing had to stop…

Even anyone other than L was in danger, it was Light.

B could know- but he could never know the details.

"Light-kun, I would prefer if you refrain from touching me right now." he murmured, shifting further back into his chair. He didn't need to be reminded of his past when he could possibly be being touched by a murderer, now just a suspect. The past few weeks had been playful for the two of them but L had never taken anything serious- but even if he had, he know longer could tell the truth from the lie. Now that Light knew of the situation, how could he expect them to go on like this?

"I won't let him have you."

The words pained L and he shut his eyes against them.

"Light…"

The teen looked at him, the anger still prominent in his chocolate coated gaze. "I won't let him ruin this case for us. We're going to solve this and if it means putting another killer behind bars, then we've both done two good things for the world."

"He isn't like Kira Light-kun." L explained, sickened by the stubborn purity he possessed. "His tactics are the only thing that set him apart, you're not cut out-"

"Don't tell me I'm not cut out, you don't know me!" Light snapped, his hands tightening as he held his face, forcing him to stare at him. "I won't let him hurt you, not as long as we're-"

"Together?" L finished, grabbing the boy by the wrists and pulling his hands away. He stared at him with the same default blank expression in an attempt to hide his cruelty on the matter "Is that what you think we are?"

"… Ryuuzaki, you know what I-"

"In this situation Light-kun, I'm afraid me and you can be nothing but detective and suspect. You know as well as I do what we're risking continuing this weak form of puppy love." he explained, holding his wrists tightly, afraid of the damage he would do if he released him. "I'm not going to be gentle with you on the subject, this has got to stop."

"Stop before what, before he arrives and see's me with you?" Light spat, the hurt burning inside of him uncontrollably; he felt like he had had this conversation with him so many times before… every time he thought they had gotten past the regret, it came back twice as hard. What did he take Light for? "Is that what you're afraid of, that he'll get jealous and threaten me like he did you?" though his words were serious they didn't cause not even a single shred of fear to awaken within his veins; Light was a _suspect _for god sake, he had spent over fifty days in confinement for the price of his sanity and what little fear he had possessed only to come out somewhat victorious. He would not lose Ryuuzaki and his life to a murderer, one way or another.

"Yes."

The rage tearing at Lights skull watered down at the softness of the others voice, his hands steadily going limp in his grasp.

"Yes… that's exactly what I'm afraid of." L whispered painfully, ebony hair shadowing his owl rimmed eyes. The walls protecting him seemed to shudder with an unknown power, provoked by the teens words. "Is that what you wished to hear Light?"

Words failed him and the teen was forced into a breathless silence, not wanting to reawaken the conversation which was best put to rest. Even the rain seemed to put an end to it's watery tirade beyond the glass of L's fortress, moving on with the day though the two remained silent and still in the break room.

Still so many questions… had they even made progress?

Spider like hands creped up to the collar of Lights shirt, pulling him down to his knees so he was level with the detectives bowed head. He was held there, waiting to see what the detective would do next but couldn't stop himself from pressing his lips against the warm cheek which appeared cold and blotchy to the human eye, working his way toward the silent lips which he knew would refuse to kiss back; each kiss he took from him was stolen against his will but it was L's will which had brought him to commit such acts- the detective would have been safer if he would have left him standing.

"You're in the way." was the only response L offered, voice dead and silent as the after rain air clawing at the window; he ignored Lights kisses but his cheeks became warmer with their touch much to his dismay.

"I know I am." Light breathed, resting his head in the crook of his neck, noting the way the detectives hands remained twisted in his collar. "I wont let him touch you."

L didn't reply- he couldn't. What could he say to a boy that had so much hope and so much to lose in a situation as drastic and twisted as this? L had allowed such actions to take place between them…

… one more mistake he would have to pay for.

He would never stop reminding himself.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me?" Light asked, looking up to meet his eyes.

"…"

_That face… a perfect copy so easily deceiving that L would have gone mad with the resemblance if it hadn't been for the ruby crested eyes eating away at him from the sunken sockets fashioned to mirror his lack of sleep which he had gained from his sleepless nights of working… working to insure justice… justice which did nothing to prevent this creature from stealing everything from him and succeeding…_

L's hands twisted in Light's collar but after a moments thought, sunk away from the stressed fabric and took their place back on the detectives lap, his right thumb retreating back into the moist space between his lips where he bit down so hard that the taste of blood- his blood which had been spilt so many times before- leaked onto his tongue bringing the copper tinted after taste with it.

"No Light-kun."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_'Cause sometimes at night,_

_I dream of the most terrible things_

_I take a hammer and I creep out of bed_

_And I raise it high_

_And I smash your head_

_Fibular and tubular_

_And ribs and cages, too_

_In fact, while I'm here_

_I'll smash the whole of you'_

_- __**Skeleton Song- Kate Nash**_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

"_L…"_

_The tug of a hand now familiar to him caused the detective to look down, pulled out of his workspace which he had so cleverly constructed within the back corner of the library, his teacup and saucer placed on the dusted cover of a worn out book placed face down on the shelf. He would have continued working if it weren't for the continuous tug and the scarlet eyes staring up at him beneath the ebony bangs which mirrored his own in a fashion which could only be described as eerie._

"_Yes B?"_

"_I wanted to ask if you would please get that book for me." he asked quietly, pointing at the battered novel beneath L's teacup, but kept his eyes locked on the other. _

_L turned his attention toward the book and gave the boy a small smile. "Of course." he removed his cup and curled his fingers around the large book, handing it to the boy and noticing it's absence of a cover. When he handed it to him he seemed overjoyed, staring up at L as if he had just handed him a brick of gold. He opened his mouth to speak but a sharp voice called to him from the library doors, catching both of them off guard._

"_B, come here!"_

_The boy turned and his eyes fell upon a mousey haired boy, his blue eyes gray and dulled from too many nights drinking in the knowledge he was forced to process while his brain was still fresh within his skull; he seemed scared by the sound his own voice had admitted within the large room but he stood his ground shakily staring over at his friend and the well known detective as if he were in a fighting match._

_B tilted his head to the side, blinking. "A…"_

"_B, come here. I need you." he muttered, eyes fixed on him as if he were the only one in the room. With difficulty B moved toward him and away from L, as if he were attached to him by force but was attached to A with something much stronger. As soon as he sauntered out of the library A turned his attention to L, a glare pasted in his large eyes; he was fourteen, a single year older than B. But his attitude was far more mature than his age. _

"_How are you A?" L asked, un-phased by his unwelcoming gaze. "Working hard I expect?"_

_The comment made his eyes narrow and the boy opened his mouth but shut it, deciding to bite back the words he wished to utter. "Yes." he stared at the floor deeply. "Very hard."_

_L nodded. "Make sure B does the same, I don't want him slacking." he was serious about this- the way the boy acted was starting to catch the attention of the adults and he wished for them to leave him alone as much as possible- B would come out okay._

"_B's fine." A countered suddenly, head snapping up so his eyes were staring into the others. "He works really hard. He really does!"_

"… _I never said he didn't." The emotion in his voice caught L's attention and he turned toward the small boy, his expression hard. "Is there something… going on with B?"_

"_Nothing." A's face blanked over and immediately L noticed the lie in his eyes but didn't dare press him about it; his whole body was trembling from head to foot. "I just didn't want him in here, that's all…"_

"_Ah." _

_A turned to leave with faulty steps, the sleeves of his blue shirt bunched up in his hands, nails digging into the fabric. L left the conversation hanging in hopes of keeping him in a calm state but he couldn't help but fire off one last question, his curiosity getting the better of him._

"_Why don't you want him in here A?"_

_A's hand froze on the door knob, face draining off all color but his eyes lit up with a fire L had never seen before. For a moment it seemed as if he weren't going to answer and L would have excepted his response, when the eyes shot up to meet his once again, challenging and packed with loathing._

"_Because you're here." he shot icily, allowing the words to hang in the air before darting out the door and letting it slam shut behind him. _

_L stared at the spot frozen in confusion._

_Ah, yes…._

_He sighed, turning back to his laptop with the familiar tiredness crusting his features, heavier than before. Even as he resumed his work he knew the truth was now more than just a rumor._

_It was no mystery that his first and youngest successor hated him; there had been whisper of it throughout the orphanage but L cared little about personal respect and A knew better than to attach himself to anybody. But B… as quirky as the boy was, he was the only student A ever uttered a word too unless ordered. Knowing now that the boy was disgusted by him only confirmed other well known rumors._

_B admired L._

_No… it was more than that._

_Something deeper… more dangerous._

"_A childish infatuation." L murmured into his tea, take a small sip before placing it back down on the table. "That's all it is…"_

_Though part of him knew very well he was simply lying to keep his mind focused on more important things; A was the one he should be worrying about, not B._

_Or perhaps both of them were a problem._

"_Take care of him A," L murmured to himself, fixing his eyes sadly on the library door, ebony locks tainting his vision in a fashion he had seen displayed minutes before- a dark and miniature version of his own shell._

"_Keep him away from me."_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The heavy roar of the engine pulsing from the wall behind him was earth shattering yet calming in its own fashion, blocking out the useless and sickening chatter of the passengers scattered throughout the American constructed plane with it's drink holders and torn magazines with missing covers and crude writing. Somewhere in the front row a baby screamed shrilly while a mother attempted to talk to her admirer on her cell phone which- according to the man on the speaker- was not allowed to be turned on until the flight was at least twenty minutes into it's schedule. Somewhere near the right a man in his forties was plugged into his Ipod, a bag of chips clasped in his hand, the oil smeared across the electronics scratched screen. Two children busied themselves by running up and down the aisle while there father attempted to figure out the workings of the bathroom near the back, debating whether to take them both in at the same time do to lack of parental supervision and a caring spouse.

B took note of all of this with trained interest from his seat in the corner, hugging the now clean jacket he had acquired from the police office to his chest in an attempt to sleep, the numbers and names protruding from above each seat catching his interest far too easily. He stared at them with the same blank, lost expression he had kept ever since his childhood- as if he were in disbelief that such numbers were decreasing silently above each living thing with slow precision.

He could make the numbers move faster… all it would take would be a quick pull on the emergency hatchet and the numbers would cut in half in about fourteen seconds tops. But even the thought of such an amusing yet almost boring death didn't spark his usual unhinged expression.

L… he wanted L…

The kids running up and down the aisle were quickly herded away by their father, screaming in protest but the man didn't buckle, shoving them back into their seats. The plane went silent with their screaming and the Dad made no move to stop them, simply opening up a magazine and flipping through the pages, caring little for the comfort of the other passengers.

B pressed his fingers against the blade of the knife hidden beneath his jacket and felt the warm liquid burst from his skin, messaging his fingertips together with the red substance. He shut his eyes in bliss as images of flooded his mind, images he had visited many times before throughout his short years of waiting.

The smell of him… the heat of his body… the taste…

His eyes, the way they shattered… perhaps he would take them for his own this time. Perhaps he would take all of him.

L couldn't refuse his deal- it was all part of the game; the exact same game they had started so many years ago.

The blade dug deeper into his flesh and he felt the jagged edge nip the base of his bone, the blood soaking into the coat and floor. His cause for mutilation was not out of excitement but was more of a way to relieve himself of the feelings and actions he was so patiently holding back. The murders had been a perfect way to let his frustration out while sticking to his plan but now that he was on a plane, he was forced to such low forms of self relief.

Besides, there was more bugging him than just the absence of his reason for living.

The flight number…

For a brief second B was all too aware of the pain and he slid the knife from his flesh with a clumsy jerk, gritting his teeth and curling into himself, his red eyes flickering; out of all the flights he could have gotten on… out of all the tickets he could have stolen…

…Why flight A?

"A…"

The childishness he still possessed bled with more than just the blood from his wound, the tattered remains of what his friend had left behind, leaving him with nothing but the never willing detective. A had been a nuisance, a terrible burden on his soul which he had been forced to endure- he had watched the life drain from him with each passing day.

Oh, B had known of A's personal problems.

But did he care?

A sick smile grazed his lips but the mans eyes held a different story, one his lips would never allow to slip past. A had never understood… he had never been able to satisfy him like L…

"_Just stay still and it won't hurt as much."_

_The blade in his hand shook but it was more out of excitement than anything else, ruby eyes fixed on the white flesh shielding the collection of veins from view. It was beautiful in a way… something so pure and simple hiding the red which he found himself drawn to like a bird to a worm._

_The comparison was appropriate- A wouldn't stop squirming._

"_B, s-stop…" his whole body trembled beneath the other, bruises and various marks covering his neck and chest- the aftermath of kisses far too brutal to stay hidden. "I won't be able to hide this if you do it…"_

"_Yes you will, you have sleeves don't you?" B smirked, straddling him so he was draped across the boys stomach. The tip of his knife grazed the skin only slightly and A let out a loud cry which was quickly blocked by B's hand against his mouth._

"_Quiet, it's not that bad!" he would have preferred to hear him scream but his tears were enough, already glistening in the corners of his blue gems. "It'll only take three strokes."_

"_They'll know it's you if you do it…" A argued weakly, turning his face away from him._

"_So? At least I'll have good handwriting." he giggled at his own joke and allowed the blade to sink in, watching the blood stream fourth and drip onto the boys navy shirt, the stench stinging the air. The other rocked against him in agony from his spot below, twisting and writhing as the blade twisted and turned, a rush of blood spilling forward to meet B's fingers as he grazed the outskirts of the vein which had been visible prior to his handy work. As he finished up, a small moan slid past A's lips from the fading agony and he pressed upward in an attempt to free himself from his friends clutches; B would have ignored the action completely if it wasn't for the electric current which seemed to cascade through his veins from the spot where the boys hips met his jeans, mixing with the rush of adrenaline from the stench and feel of blood. _

_What… what was this?_

"_Are… are you done?" A breathed, afraid to look at the mess B had created; tears cascaded from his eyes but never made it to the floor, blocked by the bloodied hands of his best friend as he leaned over him. _

_B's lips pressed against his and for once, A was helpless to nobody but himself. Even B knew he contained the power to push him away but the deep blow of rejection never came. The letter carved into his skin was enough to signify how much A was willing to go through for his friendship._

"_B…" _

"_Shhh." blood smeared across the boys face as the boy deepened the kiss, shutting his eyes and imagining the black orbs… the ebony hair…_

_A would never know. Even when he was sprawled out beneath him, skin slick with sweat and the blood he had shed many times before coating B's hands, he would never see the pictures running through his head, the name he wished beneath his breath when he knew he couldn't hear…_

_Oblivious._

_A substitute for his untamed lust yet nowhere near as satisfying._

_Not now that he had tasted the real thing._

"Sir."

A brown haired woman stepped up beside his seat near the aisle, a smile plastered across her lips so fake that the lipstick she had applied minutes before couldn't even hide the stress she was being forced to pull herself through in her features, a victim to the job she was forced to work in order to keep food on the table.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" she asked, leaning over so she was at his level.

B didn't even glance up to see her name, remaining silent in his seat.

The woman's smile cracked ever so slightly. "Sir?"

"Yes."

Like a statue coming to life, B sat up and smiled warmly back at her, lips cracking as he dropped his coat carefully to the floor and extended the bloodied appendages out before her, curling his fingers in and out like the broken legs of a spider.

"Could you get me a band-aid?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gotta love B. I know I do, sick little bastard that he is.

Personally, I wasn't planning on having any A/B in here but it kind of made itself known without warning when I felt like throwing that scene in to add some more depth to the 'Flight A' deal. Once again I apologize for the delay and hope to receive feedback from your lovely reviews!

Also, please check out 'The Twisted Web We Weave' and 'Oh How I Wonder." I need feedback for the two in order to decide whether or not I should continue. Please, please give them a read!

Next chapter up soon!

Plus, if you attended Youmacon this year, please drop me a line. Bye!


	9. I

Wow, I know right? An update! Well now that I've graduated, applied to college, and practically planned out the future of my next four years I have time for this story and I plan on finishing it 100%. I'm so sorry about the wait, I feel like an idiot but I will not leave this unfinished.

Also, if some chapters seem rather 'short' it's because if you haven't noticed, I have to make twenty-six chapters for each letter of the alphabet and if I keep it the way I planned it, I will end up coming up short. So just bare with the length for now until we get past the middle of the fic.

Now read!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The rain continued to sputter from the sky in small showers, torn from the clouds by the heavy wind which smacked against the glass windows like hands.

The day was having trouble ending.

"Want to head back?" Light suggested with a quietness he hadn't possessed earlier, staring out the window with chocolate glass eyes, thinking…wondering…

…if he was out there.

Why did this have to happen? Kira had been one serial killer too many, but another? Both shared a similar goal yet both differed greatly in tactics. Kira killed criminals. B killed whoever he wanted too just to catch L's attention, but one thing was more than certain…

Both wanted L- whether it be dead or alive, they wanted him. He was the prize that would declare the winner of their game.

And light- well Light was nothing but an onlooker destined to be dragged from the sidelines and thrown onto the playing field with no true purpose. A suspect yes, but still a bystander- his part in this game was still yet to be determined.

He still had a chance. He could still get out…

But L…

"I supposed heading back would be appropriate," L murmured against thin air. He unfolded himself from his position on the couch like a doll and stood staring at the floor, damp locks hiding his glass eyes from view like a velvet cover across glittering gems.

The chain connected them; the way the light shined against the glistening links seemed to remind Light exactly how important of a player he was.

But what was he playing for? The right to his life?

Even as they disappeared into the shaded hall Light could still hear the pitter patter of the rain against the window like a monster clawing at L's glass fortress in an attempt to reach them. He pictured the man out there… watching, wet, and dirty for a glimpse of the detective, searching for a way to get in. Light wondered what he would think of him if he saw the securely fashioned chain wrapped about his wrist- would he be amused? Angry? Would Lights life be in danger?

Something inside of him darkened- like a cloud tinted with the growing night as day sank away from eye view.

If he was watching… then Light…

He _wanted _him to see.

"Light!"

The teens hands fastened around the others wrist, pinning him to the wall without so much as a warning. Not even L had been expecting it for his face bled with the horror brought on by Lights lips mashed against his own. A week ago his heart would have fluttered mechanically, hair messy and lips swollen from the pressure of the others… but now…

"Light, _please_!" His foot shot out and collided with Lights abdomen, just gaining enough force behind his toes to propel him forward and against the opposite wall. His legs felt like jelly and he was looking for something to support himself with- anything that wouldn't make it look to obvious that he was in the worst condition he had been in sense the incident.

He had reawakened the memories he had kept locked away for so long. When they were locked away he was the strong, fearless detective the world made him out to be.

With his memories he was nothing but a victim.

The two remained in locked silence as L waited for Light to regain himself, the hit doing little damage to his body except releasing him from his temporary spell. The confusion in his eyes was weak and subtle- so subtle that even L couldn't see for once. He couldn't feel the pain because it wasn't he who had wanted to touch L so desperately…

L had rebuilt his walls to keep Light away.

Light wasn't the one L had to worry about.

For once Light looked up to him in utter helplessness. He couldn't explain his actions- he couldn't explain this growing desire for him, this desire to win… to conquer… did he want L because it was a challenge to him or did he really care for him? Did he simply crave human attention? The soulless black eyes which stared back at him without a trace of sympathy made Light feel as if his questions were destined to remain unanswered, so long as he remained L's captive. He was constantly kicked back onto the sidelines and out of the game.

He really… wanted to win.

But perhaps…

"…I'll lose this once." he whispered, brown eyes dead and staring at the wall behind L with decaying hope. The rain sounded like bullets to his ears and he wondered if the rain alone was strong enough to break through L's fortress… the rain was stronger than himself by far…

The chain tugged against his wrist as L moved away, continuing up toward their room as if Light were nothing but a chip of paint against the wall. His insides were squirming… the yolk boiling inside the cracked white shell he refused to discard.

'_he's…. he's giving up?'_

"Losing is only…" L's voice started off strong but the usual monotone voice hit a stray cord and his words cracked, making his whole body tremble beneath the weight of keeping control of the wreckage.

_The words were taunting, real, full of the life he had stolen and ripe with the glory he had gained from his triumph. With each breath he could feel his body ache with the pain of loss… disgrace… the ache in his hands serving as a constant reminder of the pride which had been ripped from him due to a moment of weakness. He had lost… he had lost everything…_

L let a trembling sigh pass from his body.

"… human."

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'_The promises_

_Hollow concessions_

_And innocent _

_show of affection_

_I touch your hand_

_A hologramA_

_re you still there?'_

- Friend or Foe, Tatu

With the fall of night came the release of the burdens of day, the heavy sheet of darkness draping about the headquarters like velvet upon a glass case. The rain had let up but the clouds remained secure above Tokyo, teasing the sleeping town below with their dreary prescience. At any second they could let the ice like beads rain down again and the tension was enough to keep anyone indoors.

Light still wished to get out…

But he found other ways to escape the tense walls of Ryuuzaki's domain.

It wasn't a habit- sleeping was something used to relieve the body, charge it for the following day, and sooth the mind. For others it wasn't so simple.

'_what… what is this?'_

Psychologically, Light was merely experiencing a dream- a hallucination brought to life beneath the darkness of his eyelids, trapping him inside his mind until his body chose to wake from rest. However his mind never took advantage of the nights stillness to drift off into a relaxing state- not when another part of him had a chance to awaken.

Lights frustration from the previous day lay heavy on his subconscious.

His other had chosen to help ease the pain.

Perhaps it was because he knew it wasn't real that made him so willing. Though he could argue he never had a choice in the matter, the sweet sounds issuing from his throat served as a constant reminder of how willing he actually was. The lips on his neck were soft and smooth yet at the same time harsh and demanding, sucking and nipping whenever Light grew quiet during his assault. Nails scratched, skin bled, legs quivered, the white shirt Light adored lay open so that the fingers were free to pinch and pull as they pleased.

His tears chilled his face- though why they leaked from his eyes he did not know. What he felt was indescribable…. A breath of hot air too warm to cool yet enough to keep him from fading out.

The stray hand drifted between his legs and Light felt the pressure from his fingers.

"It's rather dull that we have to satisfy ourselves like this, isn't it?" came the bored sigh from behind him, sweet and heavy as the sky yet plagued by the presence of the moon. "Especially when we were so close."

"That's… not what I wanted." Light breathed, trying to catch his voice before it left him while the fingers worked about. The tightness between his legs grew heavier and his muscles quivered against the select digits in frustration. His body was pulsing with life yet his mind lay sleeping, body unaware in the real world.

"But that's what you want now. His stories believable, you've thought about it." the hand holding his wrists trailed down to the awakened skin, rubbing the tip before it spilled over faintly, glistening and hot. "Someone like him lowered to such a level. You wish you could have done it first."

In Lights nature, rape was a crime and a his words stung and smoldered with the awful taste of the words he spit at him in spite. People who committed such a crime didn't deserve to live- that was his firm belief. And here was this person, this… this… _shadow _of himself taunting him and punishing him with the exact crime L had become a victim of.

Light Yagami was as much of a victim as he was a criminal.

"That's not why…" he needed to defend himself, his innocence, "… that's not why I want hi-nngh!" his chocolate eyes popped from his head as the other forced his way past his entrance, spreading his skin apart until his hips were pressed against Lights, supporting the boys weight as his legs gave out. The teen allowed his body to fall and be shifted in such a manner that the side of his face was pressed against the white floor, eyes free of tears and lip bleeding in an attempt to keep his screams silent.

Fighting… fighting was pointless. It was clear he had no control of this nightmare his deluded mind was brewing while his body slept peaceful and still in his bed. No matter how real the pain felt it wasn't real- this thought was the only thing keeping him still in hope that if he let his subconscious fulfill it's desire it wouldn't happen again.

Fear had nothing to do with it- it was a matter of control.

The hips rocking into him changed pace in response to his thoughts.

"I really do love you Light Yagami." came the whisper from above, a nail tracing across his arched back, damp with sweat. "If it weren't for you we wouldn't have made it this far in our plan. Together we make the perfect being; a pleasant mixture of right and wrong which gives us the social power we need to reach our goal. Not even L can refuse us…"

"What the hell are you talking about!?" he screamed, eyes rolling as the figment struck a spot that sent sprays of gold dripping against his nerves, making his whole body spasm. "L… L doesn't want anything from me but a c-confession. You're talking in riddles."

"Riddle's you're not meant to solve unless you want to ruin everything we've slaved for." the white atmosphere pulsed with the biting wrath of his words. The burning fire licking Lights insides from the pounding hips was beginning to scorch his mind, mouth open and eyes clouded with smoke. He had questions… so many questions for this demon with his face…. But when he went to speak the only sound that managed to struggle past his wet lips was a surprised moan as his legs trembled violently and he came, hot liquid running across his sore knees while the other continued to use him. His mind was cracking- Light was new to such physical feelings and the game of sex had been nothing but a fantasy until now. But even this was a fantasy, he reminded himself. No one could ever feel so alive in reality… could they?

'_It's fake…'_

The floor was shifting now- belts of leather sprang from the floor and twisted about his sweat drenched limbs, flipping his body around so his fluttering eyes were staring straight into his own. They tightened about his neck, fixed his hands above his head, looped about his fingers and thighs until only his chest was free to move with the force of his staggered breath. His doubles eyes burned into him with a sinister spark of fire in danger of growing and Light couldn't help but feel a sense of love for the beauty he possessed- the flawless gold of his skin, the chestnut locks so perfectly poised about his face. This demon was a god, perfect and fit for him in every way. Only he- himself- could make him feel so wonderful.

It was true…

Only _Kira_ could complete Light Yagami.

"Please…" Light moaned, fingers tensing against the leather binds. He didn't even know what he was asking- please what? He was trapped, on the verge of release and the other remained connected to him, hands resting at the sides of his face, smooth and forceful in there own way.

"Kira…"

His lips met his and he returned the action, blinded and helpless to his own alter ego and his erotic charm.

"I think… it's time you woke up Light Yagami."

The pleasure burned his insides.

"Light."

The red eyes sank away into black and he was left alone, darkness shrouding his eager mind.

"Light!"

"K-Kira…"

"LIGHT!"

At once the white atmosphere was gone, a bed and a collection of tangled sheets taking it's place as Light awakened from his dark sleep. His heart thudded in his chest like an animal, hair messy and stuck to his sweat drenched face. Part of him clung to the fading other but as soon as his hands extended out they were shoved away like a scolded child.

"Light-kun," Ryuuzaki's voice was annoyed, nerves ruffled by the rude awakening supplied by the other thrashing about the bed and waking him from his usual troubled sleep. His hands extended toward him again and he attempted to hold the boy down onto the bed by his shoulders, noting the heat and sweat against his fingers. He would have thought this to be some sick joke in payment for the past events but the pained look in his eye suggested that perhaps Light wasn't completely himself just yet. Part of him was still being held captive.

It was three A.M in the friken morning- L would have never cared in the past, but ever since Light had forced him into normal 'human' hours of rest his body had taken advantage of the extra hours and his muscles ignored his request for strength as the teen wrestled with him. He hoped the motions would wake him up the rest of the way but clearly something else was working against the teen that he couldn't put his finger on.

"Light-kun, stop it." he hissed, catching his foot in the covers as he struggled to apply more weight to the mans shoulders only to have two hands tangle into the messy working of his ebony locks and press against the curve of has back, rocking his hips up to meet L's in a free fall. The detectives calm composure shattered before it even had time to be fully rebuilt and Light was to blinded by pleasure to even consider the others position- he just needed something to touch, kiss, hold, anything to rid himself of the burning passion his shadow had left him with. He would die if he had to live with this any longer!

"Stop, Light… Sto-" the mouth against his bit down into his lower lip, tongue dancing about the wound and twisting against his faulted words. The arousal pressed against his jeans sent uncomfortable sparks through his shaking frame, trying to get a good hold of the bed to toss himself away. L's heart was fit to burst and the darkness was doing nothing to help the situation.

Seeing Light like this scared him- his touch was desperate, lips forceful and eager. The gentleness he had used with him was gone and the blood leaking down his chin was proof enough. He had awakened from a nightmare and confronted with a version Light he had never experienced. Even the Light from earlier seemed more connected with the boys subconscious.

L tried to pull his head back but the teens hand held him in place.

"_You don't know how many times I've imagined this…" blood leaked from the scratch marks decorating his back, the warm trickle of the oozing fluid making him shudder and tense as the hand positioned itself at the base of his back and prepared to move it's way up, taking the skin with it. "It's a lot better in real life L. You haven't disappointed me yet."_

In desperation L managed to bring his knee up and in between himself and the aroused teen, slamming his heel into his abdomen which brought out a choked gasp from his capture, eyes widening with the pain and breaking him free from his spell. L took the chance to squirm away from the balled up form and tripped out into the other room, shutting the door and locking it behind him, the chain trailing beneath the space between the door and the carpet.

Light opened his mouth to call to him but nothing came out but a choked gasp.

The room around him slowly began to focus.

'_Ryuuzaki…'_

His body was still pulsing. The images in his head were all too clear to shake and he cursed himself for being so imaginative. Having sex… with himself!? The thought was so conceited… so vile… if L ever heard the words come out of his mouth he would despise him forever.

Despise…

"Fuck..." he groaned, rubbing the crease between his eyes as his nerves settled down and left him with a splitting headache and unease. He was just digging himself into a deeper hole each passing day. And after everything Ryuuzaki had told him about his past, he knew forcing him into a make out session wasn't going to earn him any brownie points. He had been so careful up until now, so gentle…

"_Light-kun, I would prefer if you refrain from touching me right now."_

His eyes trailed to the chain trailing across the bedspread to the door.

"_Don't tell me I'm not cut out, you don't know me! I won't let him hurt you, not as long as we're-"_

"_Together?"_

As far as Light was concerned the chain was the only thing keeping him and L together in this world now. The pain behind his temples gave a terrible throb and he squeezed his chocolate eyes shut.

Ryuuzaki…

"_Is that what you think we are?"_

… what had he done?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

'_it seems you too_

_see a painful blue_

_when you stare into the sky_

_could never understand the motion of_

_a hand waving goodbye.'_

- I won't ever be happy again, Bright Eyes

The last remaining clouds from the previous hours of the day were trickling along slowly in the sky, fighting to keep up with their larger ancestors and free the sky from their gloomy presence. The morning was still three hours away, giving the sun time before it had to rise and carry out it's daily routine. The purple hue was visible against the furnished floor of the unused living room of L's suite, grasping at the tips of his pale toes as he sat huddled against the door, eyes wide and staring at the shadows as they stretched and grew with the passing minutes.

The silence was smooth as glass.

The world was peaceful when it was asleep.

Which is why L never took to sleeping.

It wasn't a corny thing- L had seen enough movies and read enough books to know that every main character took pride in staying up late to gaze at the stars and brood over their problems or stand at the edge of a cliff with orchestral music blaring around them with the wind blowing their hair about their face. In reality that person would tumble off or run away to a more safer area do to fear of heights. In a darker reality someone would run up and _push_ them off.

Accidental or homicide… wasn't that _always_ the question?

The detective in L was growing restless; he wanted to find Kira but at the same time he wanted to catch B. During his belated sleep L had come to a conclusion which drove a stake through the carefully drawn out draft of his tactics, curling the edges and smudging the text to reveal the truth beneath the fine print:

If L couldn't capture B there was no chance in him catching Kira.

It was too personal now- never in his dreams had he imagined any case becoming 'personal.' It was all his fault for suggesting something so ridiculous such as 'handcuffing himself to his suspect.' Personal contact was his first mistake- he had held too much faith in himself and thought he could handle such intimate interaction. He thought he had fixed the problem…

But by doing what? Hiding for the last three or so years behind a monitor? He knew B was still out there, he just lacked the courage to go out and find him- his one failure was the key to ruining everything he had worked for his whole life. The scars on his back prevented him from forgetting everything that had happened- the very reason why B had inflicted them against his exterior. L could sink as deep into himself as he wanted but it wouldn't hide him from the past.

The thought made him sick- the knowledge that he was no different then the hundreds of people raped and molested every day and ignored by the law as the crime grew more and more common. Several rape cases had been brought to L's attention and he had declined them without any real reason except that he only took cases that interested him.

He saw himself in these people- these ordinary, common, everyday people. To societies judging eye, L was nothing like these people. He was a different type, a different breed. He was part of a class of people society was not meant to know about. He was part of the social class that made sure the social class was kept in order.

L did not date, joke, stroll, shop, or walk about the public unless he was on a case. His interactions with Light at college were the most social outings he had ever been on since his days at Whammy House. Light was never meant to be his friend and Light was certainly never meant to become anything else.

So what… was happening?

He was stubborn. A mix of hot-headed, irrational, and young nerves packaged into the picture perfect poster boy of society's most successful and well raised youth. Girls giggled as he walked by, boys chorused in unison to receive even a 'hello.' Parents lectured their kids and used Light as an exemplified role model and teachers felt successful when he entered their room. The perfection made L sick to his stomach and his need for him made him even sicker.

And yet with all the popularity… after everything L had taken from him.. His friends, family, his life…

… why was he fighting to keep him?

The room behind him had gone quiet, the previous sounds of rustling and footsteps rolling away with the morning. He feared Light coming out of the room in his state. Whatever he had been dreaming about was a mystery, but do to the eagerness of his actions it was something that his body had never gone through before.

… a wet dream perhaps? Sickness? A nightmare? There were many possibilities. The kiss still stinging L's lips made him wonder if Light had had an experience much like his own. It seemed common and highly practical, even though Light had never experienced an act such as rape. Perhaps L's tale had bothered him more than he had thought…

The way he had grabbed on too him was all too familiar and L looked down at his toes, watching them curl in and out as the sunlight began to warm the area, not yet reaching the upper half of his body. He let his head fall back, black hair sheltering his onyx eyes.

He preferred Lights gentleness above all else.

'_No…'_

His hands on him earlier were too harsh… yet something about it…

His heart quickened.

'_No, no no…'_

Perhaps it was because of the fact that way down, deep, deep, down… beneath the layers, the lies, the detective, the friend, the enemy, and the orphan, L possessed another side of him that he had locked away in his youth during his countless hours spent alone after he had been rescued from his temporary hell. The locking away had not been for emotional purposes, as many adults had thought. Only Watari had possessed a vague idea as to his behavior.

"_He appears fine; just let him be." _

But it wasn't like that- his words had only been a counter to keep L from prying eyes. In no way had L become depressed or saddened by the experience. The scars and wounds burned him as they would any other individual; only weeks after would the emotional impact of the situation hit him head on.

For the moment he had just been…

… confused.

His black eyes were wider and Watari had noticed the change over anything else. There was a haze to the dark gems which had not been prominent before, a constant look of alert. Beyond had awakened inside of him a section of knowledge he had strayed far from studying, relying instead on his body to teach him. He gazed up at Watari as if he were expecting something, like a dog hoping to be fed. When it was only for a change of bandages, the haze shifted in puzzlement and the confusion became even more prominent.

His body ached.

And B was no longer there to make it go away.

His body was screaming while his mind struggled to readjust to the reclusive life he had once lived before he was stolen away from it. He was different- twisted and molded into the shadow B had broken him into. His body was crude and dirty with the deeds which had been done to it, a first time experience rearranging him from top to bottom. It took months to bury the ache beneath his old self… months of work and sleepless nights.

And now Light was pulling back the layers to see how terrible a person he really was.

But would Light care?

The sun was at eye level now, blinding and hot against his cold skin but he didn't dare move. If Light tried to open the door he didn't know what he would do. Their friendship was dangling on the edge of a knife and how deep the wound would become relied on whether or not L wanted to give in to his own personal urges or give up on studying him so closely and throw him back in the cell.

L knew enough about sex to know the dangers and delights of the trade.

But he knew nothing of love.

And neither did Light.

"A test." he whispered into the still room, watching the dust billow and scatter like snow in the revealing light of the sun with his words. "A small test I'm 50% sure he will pass."

In Lights condition he would fail miserably and L would be free of guilt upon his final decision. He would be able to continue on and end this case, dealing with B in the process only when necessary. For such a minor case the police would be on his side if he chose to announce his participation in the capture of a less known serial killer.

He stood up and stepped away from the door, limbs creaking and hand stuck at his side from the tension of the chain. He stared at the small crack where the chain trailed out into oblivion, wondering where the other was situated inside.

"Don't disappoint me now Light-kun." he muttered darkly, set on his new plan. He wouldn't let the teen ruin his perfect charade' anymore then it had been ruined.

L would not let love become a factor in this battle of skill and wits.

_XXXXXXXXXX_

_Next chapter is what I've been waiting for. Thank god I got passed this chapter, I've rewritten and crossed out so many things in my notebook I could barely read it when I went to go type it. The original draft to this is nothing like how it turned out but everything works out more. I miss B… hopefully I can get to him next chapter._

_The next chapter is already half written so expect a fast update- I'm not lying._

_Please review!_

_Note: guys, some weird stuff is going on when I upload my document. It only kept my punctuation when i put it in works word file and even then, everything showed up in bold and underlined. Anyone know what I'm doing wrong? This is really odd. :/_


	10. J

Okay, as you've noticed I haven't updated this in a year. Yes, a year. I feel bad because it's one of those stories I enjoyed spending large amounts of time on and had so many plans for but my creativity was put on hold for my senior year in high school and then my first year of college. It is now Summer of my Sophomore year of college and every day I look at this story but I do not have the heart to say I will stop writing it. I WANT to finish it. Just like I wanted to finish that Christmas story and behold, there it remains- unfinished. So for now I am going to post what it is I have completed and make it chapter J. It is short but it's still something and after posting this I will rethink what I plan on doing from here.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Time was little more then a reliable companion ticking away on the opposite wall as Light lay sprawled across the bed, eyes set in a far off place, clothing disheveled and wrist burning from the pain of the metal chain stretched tight across the length of the room. Ryuuzaki was still in his opposite universe and the teen could only imagine the stars and constellations he was creating in his rage geared toward him. It was a reoccurring episode he was sick of watching- why couldn't they just get along? The last few weeks seemed like dreams compared to now. The kissing and touching had been playful and childish, a type of outlet for the affection starved detective and Lights hormones. But now it was suddenly over and all because their game had suddenly turned serious.

A new player had stepped in- this Beyond character had ruined everything and Light and his twisted dreams had only helped.

Lights heart skipped a beat at the erotic memory, the pictures already fading from his mind. If he laid still the blood in his veins wouldn't boil… he could forget…

What would his father think of all of this?

The door creaked open and he tensed from his spot on the bed, listening to the sickening noise of the fairly new hinges on the doorframe. The way they squeaked suggested a slow entry and he waited for the others voice to follow. Maybe if he didn't move he would simply ask him to head out downstairs for the day. But he knew with L things would never be that simple.

He decided to address the problem directly.

"Ryuuzaki, hold o-" the words were blocked by a pale hand and his eyes widened, feeling a weight bare down against his waist. His first reaction was to sit up but his hand remained stuck, looking up into the ice rigid black eyes of the other. His expression was unreadable- blank and sinister in a way Light couldn't quite place. Either way he braced himself mentally for what he might pull but as soon as the fingers moved away and gave his mouth the right of speech, he was rendered silent again by the pressure of the mans lips.

Ryuuzaki felt his body stiffen and he smiled inwardly at his own predictability.

This was too easy…

But as bitter as it made him feel, L couldn't credit just himself.

In actuality Ryuuzaki had never bothered to learn such useless tactics as seduction. Unluckily for him, this had been his undoing in the past and he suffered greatly from his lack of knowledge. But in the process he learned and in learning, he enherited tactics so shameful he promised himself he would bury them beneath much more important information and only bring them out in case of an emergency. Ryuuzaki solved his cases with tact; he fought dirty but kept his pride. And each move of his tongue, pinch of his fingers, and brush of his skin reminded him of his teaching and he felt himself start to slip.

Light let him- But not for his own selfish reasons.

Lips numb, Light flipped the other over, clothes disheveled and hair messy. The fact that their jeans were still on was a miracle on its own and he worked at L's belt, noticing his body freeze momentarily and he caught his eye.

A tremor moved beneath the black gems- small but noticeable to the skilled eye.

Light's eyes narrowed.

"What?" L breathed, his tone lighter than usual. "I don't really think you want to talk Light-kun, you know what that leads too."

"Shut up," he ignored him, eyes settling back into a look as blank as the others and for a moment L attempted to grasp what he was trying to hide. He raised his head to get a better look but his quest for answers was interrupted as an unbearable warmth consumed him from below and his head fell back, mouth parting in a silent scream. Protests pressed against his tongue but he forced himself to swallow them in order to keep his plan from failing. No… he would not ruin this by being a coward. The haze clouding his eyes was nothing to be afraid of anymore.

Lights hand had been one thing- but his mouth, always throwing out words and insults meant to bring Ryuuzaki down to his level, a tool used to spark arguments, was finally doing him a favor. His tongue was magic against an area he took to neglecting out of stubbornness and he found his hips rising up to greet him shamefully, afraid to see that mocking look in the others eyes staring up at him.

If he pulled away… if he pulled away he would kick him. He would _make_ him finish.

The rhythm they were building halted for a moment and L sensed he was going to stop for conversation, moving his hand down to grasp at the boys hair to hold him in place. Lights eyes flicked up momentarily in annoyance but he continued his work, taking him in until he occupied most of the space in the back of mouth, his taste sweet in a lightly bitter sort of way. He didn't want to offer him any compliments, perform any tricks. He simply worked up and down, sucking and licking each area which appeared uncared for, tongue sore with the effort. Only when the hand in his hair tightened did he allow his mouth to rest, and braced himself as the detectives hips rocked up and slammed into the softness of his tongue. L lost himself in the fresh pleasure and forgot about his usual implied silence, gasping lightly as he felt the spring in his stomach build higher and higher. A name… he needed a name…

_A forced act of caring- a sadistic mind, kisses violent and laced with the poison he wished to cram into his veins and watch struggle beneath him until he died with the effort. _

Him… he was the only one. He had made him like this, twisted him into this horrible thing… or… maybe…

_They were both foolish. The brush of their bodies when fabric failed to conceal was their high and each one enjoyed drowning in the hypocrisy of it all. It was so wrong and right at the same time; the simple feel of each other in their arms sparked a comfortable warmth neither of them could describe- and for this, they would perish._

His true intentions were forgotten. The overwhelming burning of his heart erased the reason behind his little charade and he slipped completely, stomach tightening as the light scorched the black tint of his eyes.

And he screamed his name to the stars, watching them blink out one by one as he shuddered and fell back down to earth slowly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ryuuzaki."

The sun had already begun to sink below the horizon, giving the room a bronzed orange tint, falling across the bed until the heat tickled the detective's fingers. He was awake… he had never fallen asleep. Not even the glass breaking effects of an orgasm could put him away so easily. Pants still undone, he turned toward the other but he had already gotten up from the bed, clothes reajusted and eyes set blankly on the dark side of the room. He ignored the fact that L was still clearly exposed after their little act but the detective paid little attention to his own position. He was staring at the pillow and blanket in the boy's hands as if it were a suitcase.

Automatically L's hand began to fasten the zipper of his pants but he did it clumsily, looking up at Light's face. The truth was there- he was killing him with it's glow. "Light-kun, I-"

"I'm sleeping on the floor tonight, you can have the bed." He announced, sitting down cross-legged on the carpet near the side of the bed, positioning his pillow. His voice held no emotion, a perfect mirror of L. It was L himself who found his hand squeezing the fabric of his shirt as if it were choking him, looking down at the other in silence.

Light had seen his true intentions. From the moment L slipped to the moment he hit rock bottom, offering no hand to help him back up.

"Light…"

"Don't." he grabbed the blanket, preparing to throw it over himself before he turned and looked up at the other, eyes layered with specks of hurt and hate. "I'm sorry I wasn't as selfish as you thought I was."

L offered him no response. The last slivers of light sank away from the room as the other covered himself, leaving L alone in the dark, feet curling up beneath him. His insides twisted with emotions he wished to expel and let his body fall against the coverless mattress, preparing himself mentally to unravel them throughout the night.

Yes… he had doubted Light's selfishness.

And for the second time L tasted the bitter sting of defeat.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


End file.
